# Richard Golden, Please Eat a Dick. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 14, 2005, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565 "2005-12-14T11:21:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/1 "2005-12-14T11:21:09Z")
Many of you have probably heard of Richard Golden, aka the guy behind the D.O.C chain of eyewear/optomitrist stores that you see everywhere. One of the assenine things DOC does every year is have a 50% off sale on frames, or lenses, or something. I have one of these stores near my house, and a month or so ago they had a sign on the front that said: “50% off all frames and lenses” in huge print. At the bottom, I swear, it said “Just kidding, thanks for coming in, fool!” written in very tiny print. Ok, maybe not. What it actually said was something like “50% off a limited selection of frames and lenses” or somesuch. But you know, stores, especially optical stores, use this sort of bullshit all the time. It’s nothing new. What’s new is that DOC has opened up a laser vision correction center, and now I have to listen to Richard Golden on the radio berating all the “Discount” laser vision correction places. “By the time they give you the price with the newest equipment, and all the extras, that come-on price disappears pretty fast” he says. Hey ASSHOLE! That’s exactly what you’ve been doing to your customers for the past ~60 years. Please contact Billy Bob Thornton, or the new Superman, and arrange for a dick eating at your earliest convenience. And thanks for not dancing in any of your recent commercials. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/2 "2005-12-14T14:25:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Hey ASSHOLE! That’s exactly what you’ve been doing to your customers for the past ~60 years. Now, Now. Richard has only been doing that for 20 to 25 years. Prior to that it was his dad, Donald L. ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/3 "2005-12-14T14:42:12Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Now, Now. Richard has only been doing that for 20 to 25 years. Prior to that it was his dad, Donald L. Well fuck him, too. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/4 "2005-12-14T14:58:17Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > “50% off all frames and lenses” in huge print. > **\** “50% off a limited selection of frames and lenses” Isn’t that false advertising? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/5 "2005-12-14T15:00:55Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > Isn’t that false advertising? NO, ebcause you see, it’s only 50% off all frames…that are 50% off. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/6 "2005-12-14T15:03:27Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > Isn’t that false advertising? It’s the kind of advertising that makes you want to go into the store and kick everyone in there right in the nuts. The only thing that prevented me from doing that was that the staff of this store was all women. ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/7 "2005-12-14T15:05:52Z")
Ahem, I mean kick the STAFF in the nuts. Innocent customers could instead just be kicked in the ass. They are, after all, supporting a store run by dipshits. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/8 "2005-12-14T15:22:27Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > Ahem, I mean kick the STAFF in the nuts. Innocent customers could instead just be kicked in the ass. They are, after all, supporting a store run by dipshits. Ah, but to do that you’d have to be in the store, too - would you adminster a good ass kicking to yourself? ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/9 "2005-12-14T15:25:20Z")
Know what’s sad? My husband used to have a client that sold eyewear wholesale, and the same freaking frames that you pay $200 for are honest to God less then $20 for the eyewear place to buy. How’s THAT for a rip off? Holy markup, Batman. ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/10 "2005-12-14T15:28:25Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > NO, ebcause you see, it’s only 50% off all frames…that are 50% off. :smack: Wouldn’t that translate to 75% off on selected frames and lenses? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/11 "2005-12-14T15:51:30Z")
> [@BoBettie](#): > > Know what’s sad? My husband used to have a client that sold eyewear wholesale, and the same freaking frames that you pay $200 for are honest to God less then $20 for the eyewear place to buy. > > How’s THAT for a rip off? Holy markup, Batman. I was pondering that the other day in the optometrist’s office while looking at the $200.00 price tag on some frames that were obviously made of about 50 cents of material. Nicely finished and all, but clearly not $200.00 worth of manufacturing. How come no company has stepped into the obvious gap and started selling good quality fashion frames for say, only a 100% markup instead of 1000%? It’s a huge market and there are generic brands of everything else. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/12 "2005-12-14T16:34:01Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > How come no company has stepped into the obvious gap and started selling good quality fashion frames for say, only a 100% markup instead of 1000%? It’s a huge market and there are generic brands of everything else. They have. Do an internet search. ---
**Author:** ![CapnPitt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/edb3f5/32.png) [@CapnPitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CapnPitt)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/13 "2005-12-14T17:12:47Z")
Totally off-topic, but man this thread title made me literally LOL. Further, when I see DOC or D.O.C., I think Department of Corrections. So I was thinking “huh, so they’ve got prisoners making fasion eyeware, weird.” Hoooo, sometimes I crack myself up. Thanks **crazyjoe** for the laff riot and sorry for the devious jackassery they tried to foist on you. ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/14 "2005-12-14T19:15:11Z")
> [@CapnPitt](#): > > Totally off-topic, but man this thread title made me literally LOL. > > Further, when I see DOC or D.O.C., I think Department of Corrections. So I was thinking “huh, so they’ve got prisoners making fasion eyeware, weird.” Hoooo, sometimes I crack myself up. > > Thanks **crazyjoe** for the laff riot and sorry for the devious jackassery they tried to foist on you. I got my first pair of contacts from DOC. After we paid them a bunch of money, they made me sign a form that siad that federal law said they were not required to tell anyone else my prescriptions so that I couldn’t ever get the contacts somewhere else. Never again. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-golden-please-eat-a-dick/335565/15 "2005-12-14T21:06:28Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > I got my first pair of contacts from DOC. After we paid them a bunch of money, they made me sign a form that siad that federal law said they were not required to tell anyone else my prescriptions so that I couldn’t ever get the contacts somewhere else. > > Never again. What? That’s utter crap! Any time I’ve had my eyes checked and a new prescription written, I’ve received a copy of it – even if that optometrist’s office is making my new glasses for me – so that I can have glasses made wherever I choose.