# Richard Nixon and Watergate Crackers

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-nixon-and-watergate-crackers/296463>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 27, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-nixon-and-watergate-crackers/296463 "2005-03-27T16:09:38Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![DuhCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@DuhCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DuhCow)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-nixon-and-watergate-crackers/296463/1 "2005-03-27T16:09:38Z")

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What if Richard Nixon himself had broken into the Watergate compex, but rather than steal Democratic political secrets, he just stole a box of Ritz crackers. Would he still have to resign? Or just face an embarrassing petty theft fine?

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**Author:** ![DuhCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@DuhCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DuhCow)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-nixon-and-watergate-crackers/296463/2 "2005-03-27T16:25:35Z")

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complex. :smack:

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**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-nixon-and-watergate-crackers/296463/3 "2005-03-27T16:25:46Z")

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Nixon: “But I was hungry. And I am not a cook!”

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-nixon-and-watergate-crackers/296463/4 "2005-03-27T18:07:51Z")

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> [@Monstre](#):
>
> Nixon: “But I was hungry. And I am not a cook!”

**Monstre** –you are diseased!!

I’m so proud of you! 🙂

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-nixon-and-watergate-crackers/296463/5 "2005-03-27T18:42:11Z")

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A bit off topic, but…

When I was a kid in school, we had to make covers for our textbooks. I made mine out of white paper and decorated it as if it were a box of cereal. It was called Watergates, by General Milhous. I drew a bowl full of tape-reel-shaped bits, and added a jagged ballon that exclaimed, ‘Shaped like tapes!’ For the boxtop (drawn on the front cover) I put, ‘To open, get warrant from Judge Sirica and slide plumber’s wrench under tab.’ On the back cover I drew a beach towel adorned with a picture of the White House. ‘Cover all with this Watergate Cover-Up!’ There were other amusing (to me) things on the book cover as well, but I don’t remember them.

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**Author:** ![Fanny\_May](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3be4f8/32.png) [@Fanny\_May](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fanny_May)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-nixon-and-watergate-crackers/296463/6 "2005-03-27T19:50:55Z")

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This is why politicians don’t answer hypothetical. They aren’t worth the gas they are printed on.