# Richard Simmons cited for assault **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2004, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325 "2004-03-25T11:20:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/1 "2004-03-25T11:20:49Z")
Not arrested, but the other guy intends to press charges. [http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/03/25/simmons.cite.ap/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/03/25/simmons.cite.ap/index.html) > [@](#): > > Exercise guru Richard Simmons allegedly slapped a man who made a sarcastic remark about one of his videos, police said. For cryin’ out loud, you’d think RS of all people could shrug off a “sarcastic” remark. Did he go on a sugar binge or something? ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/2 "2004-03-25T11:28:37Z")
This is a hell of a thing to wake up to. Richard Simmons, assault? He’s been assaulting my eyes for years with that afro. I never in my wildest dreams imagined him hitting someone. Never. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/3 "2004-03-25T11:41:10Z")
The guy who got slapped probably should have rethought his decision to press charges. Unless, of course, he really WANTS to become the butt of endless jokes from Leno, Letterman and all the other late-night talk show hosts, which making a big stink about the whole thing will ensure. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/4 "2004-03-25T11:59:22Z")
I can just imagine the exchange … Some Guy: You’re so stupid. Haw haw! Richard Simmons: Ooooh, you take that back you negative Nelly or I’ll slap you silly! SG: Yea, right! RS: [Slappity-slappity-slap] And Simmons is in great shape, too, so those slaps have _gotta_ hurt!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/5 "2004-03-25T12:42:18Z")
I think he was just practicing for his upcoming video shoot: _Slappin’ to the Oldies_. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/6 "2004-03-25T13:35:51Z")
> [@Airman Doors](#): > > He’s been assaulting my eyes for years with that afro. The pink and white striped shorts and shaved legs didn’t make you want to spoon out your eyes? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/7 "2004-03-25T14:17:17Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > The pink and white striped shorts and shaved legs didn’t make you want to spoon out your eyes? Not as much as the silver lame tank tops. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/8 "2004-03-25T14:32:01Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > I think he was just practicing for his upcoming video shoot: _Slappin’ to the Oldies_. Is he teaming up with Bobby Brown? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/9 "2004-03-25T14:42:31Z")
Obviously Richard had overdosed on Turner Classis Movie’s day-long celebration Tuesday of Joan Crawford’s 100th birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/10 "2004-03-25T15:39:47Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > The guy who got slapped probably should have rethought his decision to press charges. Totally agree. Who wants their claim to fame to be “I was bitch-slapped by Richard Simmons”? ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/11 "2004-03-25T15:39:48Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > The guy who got slapped probably should have rethought his decision to press charges. Unless, of course, he really WANTS to become the butt of endless jokes from Leno, Letterman and all the other late-night talk show hosts, which making a big stink about the whole thing will ensure. Oh, man. That guy’s never gonna live it down. Imagine him hanging out in the pub with his buddies: “Dude… Ya got beat up by _Richard Simmons_!” Yup, real chick magnet kinda thing. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/12 "2004-03-25T16:33:41Z")
Phooey, can’t get the link to work – but according to the local news source, the guy is an Ultimate Cage Fighter – 6’2", 250 pounds. Yowza! ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/13 "2004-03-25T16:34:43Z")
Maybe he was joining in on the Dave Chappelle/Charlie Murphy/Rick James bandwagon? ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/14 "2004-03-25T16:42:45Z")
I keep thinking Richard is going to be one of those fitness gurus who kicks it at an early age, like Jim Fixx et al. Celebrity Death Pool anyone? Wait, how old _is_ Richard Simmons? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/15 "2004-03-25T16:49:34Z")
> [@Demo](#): > > Wait, how old _is_ Richard Simmons? DOB 7/12/48, so he’s 55. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/16 "2004-03-25T17:38:54Z")
This is weird. I had a dream last night that had Richard Simmons in it. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/17 "2004-03-25T17:41:37Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Phooey, can’t get the link to work – but according to the local news source, the guy is an Ultimate Cage Fighter – 6’2", 250 pounds. Go, Richard! You da man! Who’da thunk the little frizzball had it in him? ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/18 "2004-03-25T17:48:12Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > Who’da thunk the little frizzball had it in him? I believe it (…not that there’s anything wrong with it). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/19 "2004-03-25T17:49:06Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > DOB 7/12/48, so he’s 55. And 5’6" (and a half). > [@Jeff Olsen](#): > > ``` > This is weird. I had a dream last night that had Richard Simmons in it. > > ``` Uh… did you mean to say that out loud? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325/20 "2004-03-25T20:07:07Z")
I’m not surprised. He’s always had the reputation as being a guy who doesn’t take shit from anyone. It’s kind of a shame though; first come allegations of illegally lobbying the NYS legislature to overturn the Rockefeller laws…and now this. I’m not too concerned though, he made a financial killing when he sold Def Jam in the late 80’s - any upcoming civil penalty will be a small drop in the bucket. The story didn’t specifically mention which Simmons video the assault victim made an off-hand comment about. The whole “rock to the 50’s” thing has me baffled. My first hunch was it was a Slick Rick video, but after giving it a little more thought, I’m gonna assume it had something to do with the HBO Def Jam Comedy Hour. I’ve never seen Simmons with an afro. He’s usually shaved and wearing a baseball cap. When has he ever worn pink and white shorts? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him in shants. As far as his age being 55, that sounds way too old to me. Oh wait a minute; Richard? Never mind [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/richard-simmons-cited-for-assault/236325.md?page=2)