# Rick Perry Needs to Shut Up

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [December 7, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407 "2011-12-07T19:49:04Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/21 "2011-12-07T22:51:44Z")

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> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#):
>
> The ad is on [youtube](http://www.youtube.com/user/RPerry2012?v=0PAJNntoRgA). It has 436 “likes” and 14,771 “dislikes.” The comments are great.

Comments? Where did you find comments? I just found a notification that adding comments had been disabled. Is there a link to where I can read the comments that got in under the wire?

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**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/22 "2011-12-07T22:55:20Z")

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> [@drewtwo99](#):
>
> “Adding comments has been disabled for this video.”
> 
> WHY IS RICK PERRY STOMPING ON MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH? IS HE SOME SORT OF OBAMA-LOVING FASCIST, MARXIST, LENINIST, STALINIST, MAOIST, POL-POTIST NAZI, NAZI, NAZI, NAZI, NAZI???

Nah, even the Nazis allow comments on [their YouTube videos](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGhdX1SI3KY)! (not to mention all the Downfall parodies)

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**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/23 "2011-12-07T22:56:59Z")

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> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> Comments? Where did you find comments? I just found a notification that adding comments had been disabled. Is there a link to where I can read the comments that got in under the wire?

They’re on the “Channel Comments.” Just scroll down a little on the right hand side.

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**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/24 "2011-12-07T23:02:39Z")

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I’ll go tell my daughter the project she did in her local public school last year “Christmas Around the World” was a figment of her imagination. I’ll also go tell her she didn’t sing any Christmas songs in public school today and she doesn’t have the holiday off this year.

Perry is a fucking moron who has no idea about anything including the public schools.

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**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/25 "2011-12-07T23:05:14Z")

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I confess I frequently dream of beating to death the radio programmers who schedule 24/7 Christmas music from Thanksgiving to New Year. Perhaps that will _start_ a War on Christmas.

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**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/26 "2011-12-07T23:05:47Z")

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> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> I’ll go tell my daughter the project she did in her local public school last year “Christmas Around the World” was a figment of her imagination. I’ll also go tell her she didn’t sing any Christmas songs in public school today and she doesn’t have the holiday off this year.
> 
> Perry is a fucking moron who has no idea about anything including the public schools.

Don’t forget to remind her that she’s not allowed to pray in school, too!

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**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/27 "2011-12-07T23:27:01Z")

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“Back when I was a little boy we had prayer in school and it provided a moral compass and a stronger bond with Jesus, not just for me, but for everybody else at [Niggerhead](http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/rick-perry-familys-hunting-camp-still-known-to-many-by-old-racially-charged-name/2011/10/01/gIQAOhY5DL_story.html)…”.  
He does have a point. Just last week there was a fourth grade class here in which one of the little boys wished a little girl Merry Christmas. As soon as word got out, 14 openly gay soldiers burst through the doors and opened fire, which really pissed off the ACLU because they hadn’t finished filing the sexual harassment paperwork against the little boy yet. Then the Obama Administration came in and pronounced the dead and wounded as victims of a “bird flu outbreak”, which is why it didn’t make the news. (I almost feel bad for calling their hotline and bringing it to their attention, but they were offering free carrots and gas ration coupons.)

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**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/28 "2011-12-07T23:31:54Z")

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> [@OttoDaFe](#):
>
> You’re kind of missing the point. To the people whose support Perry is seeking, there is a war on Christmas, Christians are a persecuted minority who are badgered and bullied when they try to profess their faith, and Obama is (or may well be) a secret Muslim — in any case, he’s not one of “us.”
> 
> Remember, it’s primary season. The demographic that matters is the zealotistas, and for the GOP these days this is comprised to a great (perhaps disproportionate) extent of religious and/or social fundamentalists.

Idea for a “Successories” style poster:

Demagoguery: Helping assholes get elected by dumbasses since 600 B.C.E.

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**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/29 "2011-12-07T23:42:32Z")

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> [@Harborwolf](#):
>
> Can’t be the only person thinking that if we’re going to get accused of oppressing them, maybe we should start oppressing them.

As my daddy used to say, “Stop your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!”

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**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/30 "2011-12-07T23:52:35Z")

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> [@Sampiro](#):
>
> “Back when I was a little boy we had prayer in school and it provided a moral compass and a stronger bond with Jesus, not just for me, but for everybody else at [Niggerhead](http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/rick-perry-familys-hunting-camp-still-known-to-many-by-old-racially-charged-name/2011/10/01/gIQAOhY5DL_story.html)…”.  
> He does have a point. Just last week there was a fourth grade class here in which one of the little boys wished a little girl Merry Christmas. As soon as word got out, 14 openly gay soldiers burst through the doors and opened fire, which really pissed off the ACLU because they hadn’t finished filing the sexual harassment paperwork against the little boy yet. Then the Obama Administration came in and pronounced the dead and wounded as victims of a “bird flu outbreak”, which is why it didn’t make the news. (I almost feel bad for calling their hotline and bringing it to their attention, but they were offering free carrots and gas ration coupons.)

Thank you for one of the funniest posts of the year. And as an added bonus, by making me laugh so hard and so long, you helped clear up a tickle in my throat that was making me cough.

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**Author:** ![Dolomite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8491ac/32.png) [@Dolomite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dolomite)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/31 "2011-12-07T23:56:33Z")

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Perry has shown Texas that he doesn’t give a shit about schools. That he invokes them for a grandstanding routine is just the height of idiocy. I can’t take this fucking state anymore.

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**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/32 "2011-12-08T00:16:43Z")

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I am frequently annoyed when people automatically substitute “gay” for “black” to make their argument, but if you do just that with his quote, he sounds so…1958!

Thirty years from now, kids will be watching a clip of this ad in a grainy civil rights documentary, and they will look back on these times as the “bad ole days” when people happily elected buffoons like Perry. Kind of like how when I watch “Eyes on the Prize”, I can’t believe people actually elected buffoons like McGovern or Wallace.

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**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/33 "2011-12-08T00:54:16Z")

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What’s with evangelicals like Perry thinking that because his right to pick on people has diminished, he’s now being persecuted?

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**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/34 "2011-12-08T01:07:50Z")

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Tolerance of gays violates Perry’s religion but not bearing false witness?

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**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/35 "2011-12-08T01:26:58Z")

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> [@tomndebb](#):
>
> I think he needs to talk more.
> 
> He is spending money on his campaign that will not be available to anyone like him to use after he is forced to drop out of the race–which he will, as his numbers keep dropping like his IQ.  
> We all win with these ads: the media gets cash, the electorate gets a less bad (not good, I’m afraid), selection of candidates, and Perry gets to go home and find something useful to do with his life.

I agree, but for one thing. These kinds of ads are primarily about shaking the money tree out of the right wing, not about getting votes. While they may very well marginalize Perry as a political candidate for President, they do make him a face to a movement meant to shake more money from Republican constituents. One thing I think Palin realized was that there is a lot more money to be made from the right by playing the victim and touring than there is in politics. This entire idea of the marginalized, oppressed Christians is, to my mind, largely an attempt to help fundraising for groups like the AFA, or, in Perry’s case, to position oneself as a power broker in raising money.

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**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/36 "2011-12-08T01:39:50Z")

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> [@sqweels](#):
>
> Tolerance of gays violates Perry’s religion but not bearing false witness?

That’s the great thing about Christianity. You can break all the Commandments and Jesus will forgive afterwards.

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**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/37 "2011-12-08T02:02:39Z")

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Ganked from Reddit:

""Hi, my name is Rick Perry, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I would make policy decisions based on my interpretation of the will of my imaginary friend.

But you don’t have to spend every Sunday blind to the fallacy of a god who hates all of the same people you do to know there’s something wrong in this country, when gays can openly undermine my attempt to bury my self-hatred towards my own sexuality, and yet these imaginary rules that my handlers made up are affecting children in an alternate reality that I would like you to believe in.

As president, I’ll end this pretend war on the manifestation of our fears at a changing world, and fight the liberal first amendment and establishment clause. In the hands of the right manipulative asshole, faith can be a false dichotomy to distract constituents from how hard they’re being fucked, and it can drive us apart again!

I’m Rick Perry, and I’d like to see America go out with a bang."

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/38 "2011-12-08T02:20:13Z")

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> [@Little\_Nemo](#):
>
> That’s the great thing about Christianity. You can break all the Commandments and Jesus will forgive afterwards.

I’ve come to call this philosophy “The Law of Emo’s Bicycle” from a joke by the comedian Emo Philips.

[QUOTE=Emo Philips]  
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.  
[/QUOTE]

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/39 "2011-12-08T02:21:52Z")

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> [@Little\_Nemo](#):
>
> That’s the great thing about Christianity. You can break all the Commandments and Jesus will forgive afterwards.

You just have to know [which verses of the Bible are the parts God didn’t really mean](http://www.eatliver.com/img/2011/7991.jpg).

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rick-perry-needs-to-shut-up/605407/40 "2011-12-08T02:53:59Z")

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> [@Steve\_MB](#):
>
> You just have to know [which verses of the Bible are the parts God didn’t really mean](http://www.eatliver.com/img/2011/7991.jpg).

If you want some interesting reading in strained apologetics, look for the responses to Stephen Colbert’s recent in-character rant of

> [@](#):
>
> "If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help
> 
> the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as
> 
> selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that He
> 
> commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without
> 
> condition and then admit that we just don’t want to do it."

You could start a drinking game with the number of times you read “welfare state” and “coercive taxation”. (The Jews in 1st century Israel would, of course, have known nothing about being forced to pay taxes to a central government, and if they Jesus would surely have said “[don’t do it](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2022:15-21&version=NIV)”.)

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