# Ridiculous Safewords **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 10, 2009, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972 "2009-11-10T00:34:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Beltane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@Beltane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beltane)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/41 "2009-11-10T21:33:26Z")
There is a skit where “Martha Stewart” discusses kink, and she informs the audience that " A safeword should be something that has absolutely nothing to do with sex, something like… Hasslehoff" ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/42 "2009-11-11T02:02:54Z")
Afghanistan Banana Stand ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/43 "2009-11-11T18:01:13Z")
Anal Gilbert Gottfried! Guaranteed not only to stop the action but the kill the boner that’s inspiring it. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/44 "2009-11-11T18:19:49Z")
> [@willthekittensurvive](#): > > “what is a safe word?” Isn’t that Alex Trabek’s safe word? > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > A word or phrase used for kinky sex that means, “Stop right now, really dammit!” Woosh. ---
**Author:** ![StoutHearted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@StoutHearted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StoutHearted)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/45 "2009-11-11T18:47:11Z")
“Chester A. Arthur!” Really, is there no boner that name can’t kill? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/46 "2009-11-11T19:10:46Z")
> [@StoutHearted](#): > > “Chester A. Arthur!” > > Really, is there no boner that name can’t kill? Eleanor Roosevelt works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/47 "2009-11-11T19:11:54Z")
Nasal salad! (From my typing tutor program) ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/48 "2009-11-11T19:26:22Z")
We have Potato, but haven’t used it yet. We’re not that kinky, but sometimes she does say “no, stop it,” when she doesn’t mean it, so I’ve told her if she means it to say “Potato.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/49 "2009-11-12T00:36:25Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I’m convinced that somewhere out there is someone who is such a masochist that their safe word is “harder.” That’s the word my partner keeps using . . . and I always oblige. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/50 "2009-11-12T00:48:14Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > We have Potato, but haven’t used it yet. We’re not that kinky, but sometimes she does say “no, stop it,” when she doesn’t mean it, so I’ve told her if she means it to say “Potato.” You say Potay-to when you’re feeling kinky You say Potah-to when it starts to get hinky. Tied up in our grotto: “Potay-to!” “Potah-to!” Which is the safety word? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/51 "2009-11-12T01:06:33Z")
> [@StoutHearted](#): > > “Chester A. Arthur!” > > Really, is there no boner that name can’t kill? Cthuluboner. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/52 "2009-11-12T02:10:28Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Cthuluboner. Ha! [Eleanor Roosevelt](http://www.wowowow.com/files/imagecache/600x400/slideshow/EleanorRoosevelt.jpg) would put _anyone_ in a wheelchair. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/53 "2009-11-12T02:31:09Z")
Once, while playing Scattergories in college, we had to write down “Something you would yell” starting with the letter T. My friends didn’t want to give me points for my answer, Toaster, until I sheepishly explained that it was my safeword. ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/54 "2009-11-12T07:39:50Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Donau (Danube) Steamship’s Captain is as far as I can get on that one. translation: the emblem on the cap of the captain of a steamship on the Danube. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/55 "2009-11-12T15:28:22Z")
My best friend and her boyfriend use Oklahoma or chrysanthemum. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/56 "2009-11-12T16:01:27Z")
> [@](#): > > My best friend and her boyfriend use **Oklahoma** or chrysanthemum. Where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plain? Where the wind comes right behind the rain? Sounds kinky. and it’s only because the damned musical makes me automatically put those words there. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/57 "2009-11-12T18:23:19Z")
She said “Harder!” I did that. She said “Faster!” I did that. She said “Deeper!” I philosophized. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972/58 "2009-11-12T18:25:16Z")
“Pineapple” is ours. Silly-sounding-food seems to be fertile ground for safewords! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculous-safewords/516972.md?page=2)