# RIDICULOUSLY Corny Jokes, Appropriate for 3rd-Graders **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 2, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461 "2008-06-02T12:44:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/1 "2008-06-02T12:44:55Z")
I’ve been appointed to do a standup comedy routine for a gathering of 3rd- and 4th-graders at church next weekend. I need some unbelievably corny jokes (my whole schtick is going to be that I’m incapable of telling a remotely funny joke; they’re all going to be corny zingers - I’ll even have a guy at the drums to provide rimshots). Here’s what I’ve got so far: ME (TO STRAIGHT MAN): Hey Justin, a good friend of mine got hurt at work, and now he has a weak back. STRAIGHT MAN: Oh no, when did that happen? ME: About a week back. :: rimshot :: – ME (TO STRAIGHT MAN): Hey Justin, what’s your favorite baseball team? STRAIGHT MAN: The St. Louis Cardinals. ME: I’m sorry? STRAIGHT MAN: I said “The Cardinals.” ME: I heard you, I’m just sorry. :: rimshot :: – ME (TO AUDIENCE): Have any of you guys ever been to Hawaii? _LETS AUDIENCE RESPOND_ ME: Well, I know a little Hawaiian… Her name is Lilo and she’s going into 2nd grade. :: rimshot :: – Any more ideas? TIA ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/2 "2008-06-02T14:28:07Z")
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. ---
**Author:** ![Adversary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@Adversary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adversary)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/3 "2008-06-02T14:49:46Z")
What time do you go to the dentist? Two-thirty (Tooth-Hurty) ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/4 "2008-06-02T14:55:22Z")
What pink and puffy? A pink puff. What’s blue and puffy? A pink puff holdng its breath. What’s brown and sticky? A stick. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/5 "2008-06-02T15:05:44Z")
What’s red and sticky? Baton Rouge. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/6 "2008-06-02T15:08:31Z")
How about [elephant jokes?](http://www.azkidsnet.com/elephant.htm) They’re so old that they’re due for a revival. ---
**Author:** ![meow\_meow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@meow\_meow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meow_meow)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/7 "2008-06-02T15:10:42Z")
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Becasue 789! (7 ate 9, getit?) ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/8 "2008-06-02T15:13:47Z")
What’s about a foot long and slippery? A slipper. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/9 "2008-06-02T15:40:35Z")
Knock-knock! Who’s there? Banana! Banana who? Knock-knock! Who’s there? Banana! Banana who? Knock-knock! Who’s there? Banana! Banana who? Knock-knock! Who’s there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say “banana” again? ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/10 "2008-06-02T15:47:02Z")
Knock-knock! Who’s there? Annoying Cow! Annoying Cow wh—MOOOOO. ---
**Author:** ![CJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@CJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/11 "2008-06-02T16:18:07Z")
What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill? "Hey, here comes a herd of elephants coming over the hill. What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses coming over the hill? Nothing; he couldn’t recognize them in disguise. ---
**Author:** ![Pithy\_Moniker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8dc957/32.png) [@Pithy\_Moniker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pithy_Moniker)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/12 "2008-06-02T16:21:49Z")
I saw a little girl tell this one on television. Her deadpan delivery just made it. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? _Where’s my tractor?_ ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/13 "2008-06-02T16:22:46Z")
Duck walks into a drug store and buys a chapstick. Clerk says will that be cash or charge. Duck says neither ,put it on my bill. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/14 "2008-06-02T16:41:13Z")
[QUOTE=emilyforce] Knock-knock! Who’s there? Annoying Cow! Annoying Cow wh—MOOOOO. [/QUOTE] No no no no! It’s “The Interrupting Cow”! ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/15 "2008-06-02T16:55:45Z")
[QUOTE=Ogre] No no no no! It’s “The Interrupting Cow”! [/QUOTE] Nuh uh! It’s ANNOYING Cow. Only you have to be really annoying when you do it. Maybe you can’t be annoying enough so you had to say Interrupting, so there. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/16 "2008-06-02T16:59:27Z")
What’s invisible and smells like carrots? A bunny fart! ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/17 "2008-06-02T17:01:40Z")
What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt! ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/18 "2008-06-02T17:14:06Z")
How do you catch a unique rabbit? You 'neak up on him! How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way, you 'neak up on him! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/19 "2008-06-02T17:20:53Z")
[QUOTE=emilyforce] Annoying Cow! [/QUOTE] I’m with Ogre - it’s “interrupting cow.” As a followup, tell the one about the interrupting starfish. When they get to their second question, cover their face with your palm, your fingers spread out. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/20 "2008-06-02T17:22:28Z")
[QUOTE=emilyforce] Nuh uh! It’s ANNOYING Cow. Only you have to be really annoying when you do it. Maybe you can’t be annoying enough so you had to say Interrupting, so there. 😛 [/QUOTE] You’re both wrong. It’s Impatient Cow. So there. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461.md?page=2)