# RIDICULOUSLY Corny Jokes, Appropriate for 3rd-Graders **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 2, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461 "2008-06-02T12:44:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/21 "2008-06-02T17:47:43Z")
[Here.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjtx_GW9Lsc) [Here, too.](http://www.bluelyrics.net/s/spike_jones_lyrics/de_camptown_races_lyrics.html) ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/22 "2008-06-02T17:52:44Z")
This is one my daughter came up with. What kind of horns does an ant have? Antlers. ---
**Author:** ![Tenebras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@Tenebras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenebras)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/23 "2008-06-02T18:01:50Z")
Two sausages in a frying pan. One of them says “Hey, it’s getting hot in here.” The other one says “AHHH! Talking sausage!” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/24 "2008-06-02T18:07:14Z")
[Can you rig up a telephone to spray stuff?](http://youtube.com/watch?v=-LwMZHrRG0I) ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/25 "2008-06-02T18:20:29Z")
Q: If you’re an American when you walk into the bathroom, and you’re an American when you walk out of the bathroom, what are you while you are in the bathroom? A: European. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/26 "2008-06-02T18:31:05Z")
It’s **interrupting cow**. I went for a job cleaning up litter. I asked how to do it and they said “You’ll pick it up as you go along.” Two goldfish in a tank. One of them says “How do you drive this?” Two parrots on a perch. One of them says “Can you smell fish?” ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/27 "2008-06-02T18:39:37Z")
[QUOTE=Tenebras] Two sausages in a frying pan. One of them says “Hey, it’s getting hot in here.” The other one says “AHHH! Talking sausage!” [/QUOTE] This is my new favorite joke!!! Previously it was the _INTERUPTING_ cow knock knock joke. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/28 "2008-06-02T19:28:10Z")
Well, for corny you can’t beat Doodles Weaver off of the old Spike Jones albums. Did you hear about the goat who married an owl? They had a hootenanny! For a few less _ahem_ pedigreed jokes: Q: What did Bozo the Clown say when he saw a pile of poop in front of that red-headed marionette? A: “How’d **he** doody?” Q: What’s a chicken’s favorite vegetable? A: Bwokoli Q: Why should you make sure to never carry you iPod in the same bag as lemons? A: To keep the notes from going sour. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/29 "2008-06-02T19:29:48Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] Well, for corny you can’t beat Doodles Weaver off of the old Spike Jones albums. [/QUOTE] Link #2, post #21. There’s another one but the words don’t seem to be online anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/30 "2008-06-02T19:44:29Z")
At a bus station… I’d like one ticket to Albany please…but can you tell me ,do you go by Buffalo? No,we go by bus. ---
**Author:** ![schnuckiputzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@schnuckiputzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnuckiputzi)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/31 "2008-06-02T19:46:32Z")
☹ I tried the interrupting starfish joke on my 13-yr. old son, and he licked my hand. k ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/32 "2008-06-02T19:47:20Z")
Courtesy of Whatsit Jr.: What’s a tuba plus a tuba? A four-ba ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/33 "2008-06-02T20:00:11Z")
One of my favorites, but it requires a captive (like a knock-knock joke) and an odd outlook on life. You: Wanna hear a joke? Victim: Ok, sure. You: Ok, ask me if I’m a truck. _(It may be necessary to encourage them here with a confidence that promises great rewards. “Go ahead, ask me if I’m a truck.” )_ Victim: Ok… Are you a truck? You: :dubious: No. (You MUST deadpan this and stare them STRAIGHT in the eye or it won’t work.) Then one of two things happens: 1. Victim: _crumbles in the face of your deadpan delivery and giggles_ 2. Victim: Weirdo. Sometimes, someone will giggle with me at the absurdity, and then I know I’ve made a friend. It’s funny in person, really. ---
**Author:** ![Vimp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vimp/32/4186_2.png) [@Vimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vimp)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/34 "2008-06-02T20:08:23Z")
How do you catch a squirrel up in a tree? Climb the tree and act like a nut. (may be too dumb for third-graders, but works great on five-year olds) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/35 "2008-06-02T20:15:30Z")
“There were three camels; one called Pardon-Pardon-Pardon, one called Pardon-Pardon, and one called Pardon. Pardon-Pardon-Pardon and Pardon-Pardon died, so who was left?” “Pardon.” “There were three camels…” ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/36 "2008-06-02T20:22:51Z")
Here’s one I made up the other day: What did the reporter say at the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade when the dugong balloon crashed in flames? . . . “Oh the **huge manatee**!!” When I told this to my family, the wife gave me a big :dubious:, but my two daughters (K and 2nd grade) laughed like maniacs. Why? Never mind that it makes light of one of the worst aviation disasters ever, and that most kids wouldn’t even know the Hindenberg reference to begin with. They laugh because the words “dugong” and “manatee” are frickin’ hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/37 "2008-06-02T20:42:04Z")
How do you keep a werewolf from going crazy on Halloween night? Shoot him in September. Why do white sheep eat more grass than black sheep? Because there are more white sheep. Why do elephants paint their toenails red? To hide in strawberry patches. You say you never saw an elephant in a strawberry patch? That proves it works. What’s gray and has big ears and a trunk? A mouse going on vacation. I love this one, but it might not be appropriate for 3rd graders. What’s gray and comes in quarts? An elephant. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/38 "2008-06-02T20:44:09Z")
Oh, you’ve got a straight man! Well, how about this: What’s the difference between an elephant and a quart of milk? Uh, I don’t know. Well, if you don’t know, I’m certainly not going to send you to the store for a quart of milk! ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/39 "2008-06-02T21:00:45Z")
Knock knock? Who is there? I’m a pile up. I’m a pile up who? Awwww, don’t be so hard on yourself. (sounds like I’m a pile of poo) ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461/40 "2008-06-02T21:24:12Z")
knock, knock who’s there Ether Ether, who? Ether bunny. knock, knock who’s there Cargo Cargo, who? Car go ‘beep beep,’ run over Ether bunny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ridiculously-corny-jokes-appropriate-for-3rd-graders/451461.md?page=3)