Ridiculously stupid-simple recipes you can't believe come out so tasty

Cafe Society
21

First, chop up the beef into one or two-inch pieces (doesn’t have to be exact at all). Make a basic roux by melting 1 tbsp butter and whisking in 1 tbsp flour. Cook for about 30 seconds. Whisk in a cup of milk. Toss in the beef and bubble until the sauce is thickened and the beef is slightly softer (usually around 10 minutes, but less if you like it thinner; more if you like it thicker). Salt and pepper to taste. Pour about 1/2 cup (or however much you want) over a piece of toasted bread. It’s a relatively liquidy dish, so you can eat it with a fork & knife.

It’s good with hot sauce, too.

22

I missed my edit window. I mean to say that when I say “bubble,” I mean a low simmer, not a boil.

23

**Luke warm pasta salmon salad. **

Boil pasta. While the pasta is boiling, prepare on a plate a mix of:
-slivers of smoked salmon (ready bought that way) about 100 grammes per person
-diced fresh tomatos (2 per person)
-pressed garlic (1/2 a person)
-a fine chopped onion
-a dash of cream
-if you like, a spoonful of capers, cut up fine.

Drain the pasta. Add the mix while the pasta is still hot and stir. When all the tasty stuff is well mixed in with the pasta, add a bag of shredded lettuce, or shredded endives. Ready!
All in under ten minutes, a nutricious light meal, and delicious. If you have any left over, the salad tastes even better the next day with lunch.

24

I am not at home right now so I can’t check. All I can tell you now is that at 2 different grocery stores in different cities, it was next to the normal taco seasonings and there was only one type named ‘chicken burrito seasoning.’

25

Insanely Delicious Chicken Soup

Boil 1 whole chicken in 3 quarts of chicken stock.
Remove cooked chicken, shread the meat, remove skin and any gristle, return the shredded meat to the pot and simmer. Discard (or save) bones and skin.
Add spices (sage, parsley, thyme, red pepper, black pepper, salt) to taste.
Add 1 cup heavy cream. Stir.
Re-season to taste.

While doing all this make fresh jasmine rice in the rice cooker.

Serve soup over a bowl of the rice.

Really, and I honestly mean it, this may be the best tasting dish I have ever had. I don’t understand it really. It shouldn’t be so good but WOW. It is also very economical and comforting.

26

1 smoked pork shank
1 pound of beans
2 bay leaves

Cover with three times more water than beans and simmer for three hours, stirring now and then, until beans are very soft and the shank meat almost falls from the bone. Ladle it up.

27

I love Jell-O cake. Just take a vanilla cake mix then bake it then poke holes in it and pour in Jell-O and wait for it to set

28

You can do some great things with a slow cooker like take some chicken and add taco powder or pork and BBQ sauce.

Really good and really easy too.

29

Naked Spaghetti:

Cook noodles, add butter, salt and pepper to taste (no sauce.) I prefer garlic salt, but it’s not necessary. Costs about 10 cents per serving.

Note: a diet of spaghetti noodles alone causes rickets.

30

I just remembered another of my roommate’s recipes.

Take a pork loin out of its package.

Put pork loin in crockpot.

Cover with A-1 sauce. (I used BBQ sauce - very tasty).

Cook on low until it’s done (5-7 hours). Or, cook longer so it falls apart and you can make shredded pork sammiches.
Mine for chicken soup:

Put uncooked, boneless, skinless chicken breast in bottom of crockpot (enough to cover bottom).

Cover with coarsely shopped veggies of whatever kind you want. I use taters (the little butter taters are good because you don’t even have to chop them), celery, carrots (don’t peel the damn carrots. Why do people peel carrots?), and onions (those little pearl onions are good, especially if you get them frozen - no peeling or chopping needed).

Throw in whatever spices you like. I’ll frequently get one of those fresh herb blends for soup (in the produce section, comes in a little plastic box).

Pour in enough of whatever kind of broth you want (I use veggie or chicken), enough to cover the veggies.

Cook on low for 6-8 hours.
Kielbasa soup (You MUST like kielbasa for this. Also, it’s pretty salty. Taste it before you add any.):

Cut up some kielbasa . Use as much or as little as you want. Cut however you want. Put it in the crockpot.

Thow in taters. Any kind, cut however you want.

Get a head of cabbage (small - this is very difficult in March, all the cabbage seems to be mutant-sized in March). Cut into quarters and throw that in the crockpot too.

Cover with veggie broth.

Cook on low until taters are tender (not generally very long).

31

Creamed chicken and biscuits:
Cut up 1lb of boneless, skinless chicken (breast or thigh; I use thigh), salt and pepper
Whatever other seasonings you like (I get a "Country Herb Blend in a grinder from Aldi that I like for this recipe)
Brown in vegetable oil over medium heat
Add 1 can cream of chicken soup and a half-can of milk
If it’s too dry, add some “boxed” chicken stock, too
When it comes to a simmer, add about a half-bag of frozen peas and carrots (or frozen mixed veggies if you prefer)

Transfer to a casserole dish (I don’t have to do this step, as my pots and pans are oven safe up to 500 degrees), top with large refrigerator biscuits, and bake on whatever temp the biscuit package calls for.

When the biscuits are nice and golden, take the whole thing out of the oven, and brush the tops of the biscuits with butter. I like to sprinkle the tops of the biscuits with some of the Country Herb Blend, too.

Ridiculously easy to make, insanely tasty, and even better eaten as leftovers the next day!

32

I sometimes make a topping for this of buttered breadcrumbs to add a little texture. Melt 2-3 tbsp butter & stir in 3-4 tbsp of those canned breadcrumbs. Toss with the pasta. Nummy.

It will still give you rickets, though. :wink:

33

I have a variation of the buttered pasta recipe too:

Saute chopped onions and garlic in butter and pour over the pasta. Then sprinkle liberally with parmesan cheese. Sometimes, if I’m feeling adventurous, I’ll saute baby shrimp in the butter too.

Will the onion, garlic and shrimp prevent rickets?

34

This dish is IMPOSSIBLE to make sound appealing–it sounds kinda gross–but it’s one of the most perfect comfort foods. My Czech grandmother made it for us, and whenever I’ve FORCED someone else to try it, it goes right on their own comfort food list.

Seriously, try it, it will become a favorite, and it’s easier than almost any other recipe I know.

Called Haloushke, or something; I never saw it written. Pronounced huh-LOOSH-key.
You get you a cabbage, a big onion, a bag of wide egg noodles, and a thing of cottage cheese. Oh and some butter, and of course salt/pepper.

Chop onion, slice cabbage into ribbons. (I like to make them roughly the same width as the noodles, but that’s a purely visual thing.) Melt way too much butter in a large saute pan. I use a stick; you may use less if you insist.

Saute the onions around in the butter till they’re not quite browned. Toss in cabbage. (Oh meanwhile, timing wise, you’re dumping your egg noodles in the boiling water about now.) Saute cabbage till a little beyond wilted, but not mushy. When cabbage is ready, and noodles are ready, toss all together in a big ass bowl, along with the cottage cheese. Salt and pepper, etc.

Serve in big comfy bowls.

35

It’s usually in the “ethnic food aisle” or aisle with all the other seasoning packets.
I know that I don’t get “Authentic Mexican Flavor” out of a packet by McCormick. Otter pops also probably don’t contain real grapes either. I’m ok with that. I’m not trying for authentic when I use them.

Recipe - sausage (about a pound), bizquik (about a cup), and shredded cheese (about a cup). Mix together. Form into meatballs. 10-15 minutes at 400.

36

lissender, that actually sounds pretty damn awesome. I’m making it this weekend, thanks.

Meatballs:
1 bag frozen meatballs
1 jar grape jelly
1 bottle heinz 57

dump into crockpot. Stir occasionally. Eat. I make these for potlucks at work and people absolutely go apeshit. I use Armor brand meatballs.

For my son

Leftover jasmine rice
couple splashes of milk or half and half (like 1 1/2 glugs)
cinnamon and sugar
raisins
pinch of salt

Put the kettle on. Combine everything but the raisins and nuke for a couple minutes. Put raisins in bowl and sprinkle with salt. Pour the water from the kettle over the raisins. Drain the now soft raisins and add to the rice. Feed to sick kids on winter mornings.

37

Cheesy Meat and Potatoes Cassarole

In bowl, dump in
1 lb of cooked meat, cubes or chunks. I like deli meat, ham, chicken, etc.so I don’t have to cook anything. But pretty much anything works.
1 bag of frozen hash browns, (the diced kind)
1 can of cream of chicken
1 8 oz container of sour cream
2 cups-ish of shredded cheese. whatever you want. I basically dump in whatever I have on hand, cheddar, mozzarella, Parmesan, anything that melts well.
Vegetables of your choosing. I like broccoli, onions, and peppers.
Salt, pepper, whatever herbs and spices you want.

Throw in a 9x13 pan, top with buttered bread crumbs, cook on 350 for 40 minutes-ish.

Basically, it’s great because there’s almost no prep work, and you can’t really screw it up. All you have to clean is a bowl and a pan. You cut down on even more prep by buying the hash browns that come with peppers and onions. And, of course, it’s delicious.

38

Bacon. Just throw it on a hot pan, fiddle with it a bit, turn it over and there you go : incredibly tasty. Oh, sure, you can put miscellaneous crap on top, under, around or in the middle of your bacon, but it’s the bacon that really counts.

39

Honestly? Crepes. I thought I’d need special equipment to make them, but all I needed was a mixing bowl and a small frying pan. Flour, eggs, milk, butter, salt, ladle it into a pan with butter in it, fry for not even a minute, turn once, and you’re done! And I’ve found I like them best with plain ol’ jam, or, hell, just plain.

40

I do the fried pasta too, but I like to gussy it up with a handful of toasted pine nuts and some grated Parmesan. Maybe a sprinkling of fresh parsley, assuming I have some kicking around.

Peanut butter noodles are also ridiculous awesome. Just toss cooked spaghetti with a hefty dollop of PB (preferably the stuff that consists of ground peanuts and not much else), a few dashes of soy sauce, a dollop of chili-garlic paste (or not, if you’re wimpy and don’t like spicy stuff), some grated fresh ginger, and a handful of chopped scallion. Good and cheap… two of my favourite attributes in a food. :slight_smile: