# Right/Fair? Purposely left out of inheritance! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 26, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396 "2013-02-26T01:13:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sassyitis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@Sassyitis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassyitis)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/21 "2013-02-26T17:10:05Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > I wonder if it’s really a scam of the following form: > > [ol] > [li]Scammer posts some sob story to a MB[/li][li]Message Board denizens post a dozen sympathy messages[/li][li]Scammer posts some hogwash how they found a lawyer but can’t afford them[/li][li]One or two of the sympathy posters offer to help out with the legal fees[/li][li]Scammer laughs all the way to the bank[/li][/ol] > > Of course, the Dope being full of skeptics, the scammer doesn’t get past item two, and therefore are never seen again. YES… Unfortunately this is just PART of my crazy story! I’m NOT looking for sympathy, money or ??? Oh and I’m not a stalker or lurking around. Sorry if I’ve offended you… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/22 "2013-02-26T17:18:30Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Yeah, if you strip out all of the drama it sounds like the Dad purposefully left 100% of his estate to the OP’s brother, his son. People are allowed to cut children out of their will in pretty much any jurisdiction, right? It sounds like it, but this: > [@OP](#): > > Needless to say my father signed an unrevocable trust 2 weeks before, having 4 stage lung cancer! needs fleshing out. If her father was coerced, or otherwise not capable of making a legal decision right then when he was certainly distressed, who knows? The OP needs a lawyer. And therapy wasn’t bad advice, either. The situation is hard no matter what happens. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/23 "2013-02-26T17:24:04Z")
> [@Sassyitis](#): > > YES… Unfortunately this is just PART of my crazy story! I’m NOT looking for sympathy, money or ??? Oh and I’m not a stalker or lurking around. Sorry if I’ve offended you… The term “lurker” just means that you have been reading the boards here but not posting. There are many lurkers here and most posters started out as such. It is not a derogatory label. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/24 "2013-02-26T18:45:28Z")
How much is the estate worth? It may not be worth pursuing. Challenging a will and proving incompetence at the time of signing isn’t likely to be inexpensive, even if legal aid does much of it pro bono. ---
**Author:** ![FrankJBN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@FrankJBN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrankJBN)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/25 "2013-02-26T20:12:28Z")
AFAIK, there is no such thing as “legal aid” for private civil suits. Certainly attorneys may work pro bono on a civil suit question involving the “public good”, but I really can’t see it where the question is “I deserve some money” ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/26 "2013-02-26T20:46:32Z")
No, but they might work on … what’s it called, when you don’t get paid unless you win? Crap, my brain just went blank. On commission? On Consignment? On condition? On contraption? It’s not any of those, but I can’t recall the right word. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/27 "2013-02-26T20:51:57Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > No, but they might work on … what’s it called, when you don’t get paid unless you win? Crap, my brain just went blank. On commission? On Consignment? On condition? On contraption? It’s not any of those, but I can’t recall the right word. On Contingency? ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/28 "2013-02-26T20:59:30Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > On commission? On Consignment? On condition? On contraption? . Sounds like how Santa’s lawyer calls to his team of animals. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/29 "2013-02-26T21:09:21Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > No, but they might work on … what’s it called, when you don’t get paid unless you win? Crap, my brain just went blank. On commission? On Consignment? On condition? On contraption? It’s not any of those, but I can’t recall the right word. I don’t see anyone tackling this one for free either. And on contingency..their had bett be enough cash there for the lawyer to take it. Two years in the hands of a drug addict, I’m not seeing the opportunity for a lot of cash. But who knows… [http://www.mauinews.com/page/content.detail/id/560335.html](http://www.mauinews.com/page/content.detail/id/560335.html) ---
**Author:** ![FrankJBN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@FrankJBN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrankJBN)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/30 "2013-02-26T21:13:48Z")
“If her father was coerced, or otherwise not capable of making a legal decision right then when he was certainly distressed, who knows?” Boy, talk about fleshing it out. How about the son actually induced the cancer in the father - that’s murder! I don’t apologize in advance because this is how it strikes me although I am sure it will be offensive to the OP: “After 10 yrs of being molested by my father, taken out of the home by the courts. NOW living with depression, anxiety/panic attacks, agoraphobia, ‘little girl’ syndrome. I feel like I got the ‘ultimate FU’” But none of that would have mattered if he left me the money. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/31 "2013-02-26T21:36:47Z")
I think there might be a suit against the father’s estate for damages because of the molestation. I think there might be a suit against the brother because he stole thousands of dollars worth of merchandize from you (and he now has money/property to pay it back). Obviously you need legal proof for these, which I question if you have. But I think both of these are situations where it is not worth spending the money. considering your chance of success. I really think your best bet is moving on with your life, instead of being consumed with this anger and hatred. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/32 "2013-02-26T21:46:54Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > On Contingency? No, money down! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/33 "2013-02-26T21:55:45Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > The term “lurker” just means that you have been reading the boards here but not posting. There are many lurkers here and most posters started out as such. It is not a derogatory label. Also, if you’ve been lurking (as most of us did and do), you’d be more likely to have picked up a sense of the general way that things happen around here. So time spent lurking would be counted as a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Sassyitis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@Sassyitis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassyitis)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/34 "2013-02-26T22:07:07Z")
The ‘estate’ was almost 2 million, property and cash! I guess the easiest way to explain my feelings, betrayed! We were in the process of buying a home, my father said don’t, this house will be yours. He even put new plumbing in and started remodeling little things, thinking I would like the changes. Told some neighbors & family members of what he was doing as well. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/35 "2013-02-26T22:11:28Z")
I really really think you need to move on. I think your chances of actually getting anything of value out of this situation (enough value to offset the lawyer’s bill) are incredibly small. I mean, how much is the house worth, really? As for the molestation, your father is dead. What he did is horrific, but he is beyond the law now. Perhaps there is a greater justice he will receive in the afterlife. Maybe you can find some comfort there. As for your brother’s theft, etc. I’m not a lawyer, but I seriously doubt you can do anything about it now, if you didn’t file a police report or anything then. The timeline of events is difficult to ascertain from your OP, but it sounds as though the statute of limitations may have passed as well. Take the money and effort you are considering using on pursuing this, and use it to make yourself mentally healthy. Find a therapist, look into support groups, find online help from other survivors, read self help books. Start a journal. You were treated unfairly. But you will not find the closure you seek from trying to get a part of your father’s estate. You **can** move past this, and come to a place where you are happy and healthy. Control was stolen from you, but you can take it back. You can choose the path to happiness. Best of luck to you. ETA: I see the estate was worth a lot more than I’d assumed. Be honest here; how much of that is left? If it is a substantial amount, I would talk with a lawyer, but even so, it sounds doubtful to me that you will get much of anything. I still think your best option is to move on, but if there is a lot of money/property remaining, you may decide otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/36 "2013-02-27T00:06:31Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > It is not a “bingo”. Laws vary and some places you do indeed have a right to a share of inheritance. Sorry, I was agreeing with the sentiment that you don’t automatically deserve your parents’ money and should just move on. What he wrote is what he wrote. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/37 "2013-02-27T00:27:51Z")
Mo Money, Mo Problems, amirite?! ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/38 "2013-02-27T02:17:02Z")
It sounds like the old man’s been a manipulating bastard from the outset - don’t let him control your feelings anymore. It’s not right and it’s not fair, but it sounds like he never was. I can’t give you any advice about legal issues except to say I certainly would have got a couple of payouts for various things, but I hate unresolved issues, I would have been in a state of limbo waiting for court dates. One was a car crash, another a work related injury - the doctor was behind me to take the employer to court, but my stomach gets into knots just thinking of those kind of things. It’s less stress for me to just cut my losses and get on with my life. I’m not homeless though. I do sympathize. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/39 "2013-02-27T02:54:15Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > Sounds like how Santa’s lawyer calls to his team of animals. 😉 - On Commission! On Consignment! On Condition! On Contraption!\* On Tortious! On Smokeball! On No Cause of Action! heh. tip your waitress. ---
**Author:** ![Sassyitis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@Sassyitis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassyitis)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396/40 "2013-02-27T03:12:37Z")
Thank you all for taking the time to comment! I really appreciate it. Of course there’s always more to the story AND circumstances. For the record, I agree that your children aren’t ‘owed’ or have the right to receive inheritance. If the shoe was on the other foot, our extended family would step in to make sure my brother got a fair share! I guess it boils down to ‘morals’ and lack there of! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/right-fair-purposely-left-out-of-inheritance/651396.md?page=3)