# Rihanna taking back Chris Brown. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 4, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277 "2009-03-04T15:41:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/21 "2009-03-04T21:33:57Z")
> [@SaharaTea](#): > > Or perhaps when the person is shielding his or her face from being punched? I’m just speculating. All I know is, I have not seen any photos or heard of any evidence that Chris Brown was injured during this incident. He was photographed the next day with a definite black eye. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/22 "2009-03-04T21:34:54Z")
A) Their business, if they make what I think are ridiculously stupid choices, and they don’t affect me - then I could care less. 1. Don’t think for a minute this will ultimately hurt either of their careers. Endorsements for him, maybe, maybe not. But they’ll both keep selling records. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present R. Kelly. I rest my case, this won’t hurt their careers a bit. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/23 "2009-03-04T21:35:07Z")
> [@Strassia](#): > > Even if he was trying to bite her face, you would expect to see bites on the outside of the arm, not the inside. Where is the report that the bite marks were on the inside of her arm? ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/24 "2009-03-04T21:36:13Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > He’s probably putting all his energy into kissing up to her in order to avoid the jail time. His only defense is to convince her not to press charges. Jail time for beating her up would be minimal, if any. What hes most concerned about is the tens of millions of dollars this could cost him. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/25 "2009-03-04T22:24:36Z")
My very first thought upon hearing about the incident was “how long til they get back together?” ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/26 "2009-03-04T22:31:48Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Jail time for beating her up would be minimal, if any. What hes most concerned about is the tens of millions of dollars this could cost him. California (I’m assuming that this was where it happened?) must be way different than most states. I think most states now have a law that the woman _can’t_ drop the charges, no matter how bad she wants to. The state prosecutes. My wife’s cousin just got out of jail after doing every day of a 1-year sentence for hitting his girlfriend. It was his first offense of anything - no prior record at all, in any category - and the year was plea-bargained down from _SEVEN YEARS!_ :eek: I’m firmly against domestic violence but you wouldn’t get that kind of sentence for punching a guy. (I understand the difference between punching a guy in a bar and domestic violence, in most cases, but my wife’s cousin wasn’t married to this girl, wasn’t living with her, and it was a one-time, provoked incident. She wasn’t charged.) ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/27 "2009-03-05T02:08:59Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > California (I’m assuming that this was where it happened?) must be way different than most states. I think most states now have a law that the woman _can’t_ drop the charges, no matter how bad she wants to. The state prosecutes. My wife’s cousin just got out of jail after doing every day of a 1-year sentence for hitting his girlfriend. It was his first offense of anything - no prior record at all, in any category - and the year was plea-bargained down from _SEVEN YEARS!_ :eek: I’m firmly against domestic violence but you wouldn’t get that kind of sentence for punching a guy. I didn’t know that about American law, and I find that very interesting. I’ve googled a bit, but can’t get through the thousands of lawyers ads that Google yields. Would you perhaps have a cite for me where I can read more about that phenomenon? Especially how it affects male/female relationships in the USA? Thanks in advance. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/28 "2009-03-05T02:22:36Z")
Kentucky has a law, if the cops get called out for a domestic violence call someone is going to jail. Even if the apparent victim does not want to press charges. ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/29 "2009-03-05T02:34:27Z")
The main benefit in pair-bonding these cretins is that any innocent normal people are spared the company of either said cretin. It’s a bit like self-quarantine. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/30 "2009-03-05T03:12:56Z")
> [@cerberus](#): > > The main benefit in pair-bonding these cretins is that any innocent normal people are spared the company of either said cretin. It’s a bit like self-quarantine. Yeah, but… then they’ll inevitably reproduce, increasing their numbers:( ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/31 "2009-03-05T03:40:36Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > Kentucky has a law, if the cops get called out for a domestic violence call someone is going to jail. Even if the apparent victim does not want to press charges. No trial or anything eh? ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/32 "2009-03-05T03:51:06Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > No trial or anything eh? Well, usually when you are arrested and being booked you are taken to jail, no? ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/33 "2009-03-05T04:10:19Z")
> [@Strassia](#): > > \ Fight back and chances are you are the one who gets arrested, take it passively and you get laughed at. > Jonathan So, if I’m understanding correctly, not getting laughed at is justfication for beating a woman? Go figure. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/34 "2009-03-05T04:10:49Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > I didn’t know that about American law, and I find that very interesting. I’ve googled a bit, but can’t get through the thousands of lawyers ads that Google yields. Would you perhaps have a cite for me where I can read more about that phenomenon? Especially how it affects male/female relationships in the USA? Thanks in advance. :dubious: I’m perplexed about what terms you could’ve possibly been googling. “Domestic violence drop charges” (no quotes) yielded a whole first page of corroborations. [Here](http://www.seattle.gov/courts/prob/dvprob.htm) is the first one from a .gov site: > [@](#): > > A police officer responding to a domestic violence incident must complete a police report whether or not an arrest occurs. The City Attorney’s Office will review the police report to determine whether or not to file charges. If charges are filed, only the prosecutor has the authority to drop them. A judge must approve the prosecutor’s request to dismiss a case. **The victim is a witness for the City and has no authority to drop charges.** In many cases, the City will prosecute a case even if the victim refuses to testify. ---
**Author:** ![Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicolas_Bourbaki)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/35 "2009-03-05T05:09:44Z")
I’ve never been in a situation to find out first-hand, but I’m almost positive the state can’t prosecute domestic violence dealies in CA. I distinctly remember some other case in the local news where this was brought up, that the victim _had_ to file charges. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/36 "2009-03-05T05:58:38Z")
Victims don’t have to file charges in any state, it’s up to the prosecutors to charge somebody. No one has to “press charges” to get the ball rolling. The reason domestic violence charges get dropped is because the victim decides she doesn’t want to testify and there’s no other evidence available. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/37 "2009-03-05T07:10:19Z")
> [@WishIHadACoolName](#): > > Young women, and young men, have too few positive role models. She, by taking him back into her life, is telling young girls and women who “look up to her” that it’s OK if he hits you. As long as he loves you… She had a perfect opportunity to stand up for women everywhere, if only she’s said “This is not acceptable, and you are no longer part of my life”. Alone is better than abused. I don’t think it’s always that easy. A lot of victims of abuse are also psychologically abused, believe they don’t have any other choice, etc. I think condemning her for this, even though it’s the wrong choice, is just blaming the victim. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/38 "2009-03-05T07:15:10Z")
> [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](#): > > I’ve never been in a situation to find out first-hand, but I’m almost positive the state can’t prosecute domestic violence dealies in CA. I distinctly remember some other case in the local news where this was brought up, that the victim _had_ to file charges. That’s not what [this website](http://www.lacriminaldefenseattorney.com/DomesticViolence.html) says, or [this one](http://www.ladomesticviolenceattorney.com/), or [this one](http://www.domesticviolencelawfirm.com/CommonQuestions.html), or [these](http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/protection/dv/resda.htm) [two](http://www.calbar.ca.gov/state/calbar/calbar_generic.jsp?cid=10581&id=2181#17), or [this one](http://www.riversideca.gov/rpd/GenInvest/DomesticViol.htm). ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/39 "2009-03-05T08:04:16Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I don’t think it’s always that easy. A lot of victims of abuse are also psychologically abused, believe they don’t have any other choice, etc. I think condemning her for this, even though it’s the wrong choice, is just blaming the victim. But how do you know she was the victim? Of course she was beaten up, but we have no idea about the circumstances under which this incident occurred. He, apparently, was also hurt. Not that it excuses either one of them, but it seems a little premature to start branding people victims or villains. More importantly, it’s none of our business. This isn’t some circumstance where she couldn’t leave him for financial (or other) reasons. They apparently got back together under their own free will. People have a right to make their own decisions, good or bad. I just wish them the best and hope they can get past whatever happened, and can move forward in a more healthy manner. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/40 "2009-03-05T08:13:21Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > More fodder for geniuses like [this](http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/health/chi-teen-domestic-violence-20-feb20,0,1424689.story) > > With fans like that – not to mention TI and Terrence Howard (retractions of support for Brown be damned) – I’m not sure how much he will actually suffer, especially if he decides to do rehab or find Jesus. > > I haven’t been following that closely, but is anyone really under the impression that this is the first time he has hit her? IME, abusers do not keep their hands off a SO for their relationship only to one day decide to choke them unconscious. I’d say returning to him is – sadly, tragically – par for the course. > > (Slightly OT – anyone catch the recent _Law & Order: SVU_ about an abusive relationship? Not sure if it was new or a rerun, but it sure was brutal.) It’s easy to characterize their attitude as a bunch of dumb fans not being savvy enough to grok how outraged they should be, but from their perspective the conditions and cultural norms under which you can “lay hands” on a man or woman are substantially different in the urban underclass than in other sectors of society. Physically engaging someone being perceived as disrespecting you is part of that world. The hands off “specialness” of females which is part the cultural mores the of middle and upper class sectors of society is not part of that world to nearly the same degree. “Smackin’a ho” is not a bluff in urban culture. Physical violence to enforce personal authority, social status, or deal with challenges to it, however slight , are part and parcel of that culture. People on the outside are gazing in frustrated outrage at the graphic results of the fight between them, and the people on the inside are saying “Gosh.. what did she do to make him that pissed?”. While it’s easy for middle class observers to dismiss this attitude as ignorant crazy talk\* it is\* their reality. It’s almost a cliche that girls coming from urban underclass settings, and feeling they are being disrespected will thrown down without hesitation,and engage in absolutely terrifying levels of violence. Whether or not the fight itself was an affront to general moral decency is a somewhat separate question as to how the participants in the fight viewed the confrontation in the context of their own actions relative to their cultural context and expectations. While the results of the fight were black and white in terms of the resulting violence and injuries, the way it’s perceived from various cultural viewpoints is not. Violence isn’t right but from a [cultural relativism](http://www.utpa.edu/faculty/mglazer/Theory/cultural_relativism.htm)perspective it’s sometimes acceptable in specific circumstances to the participants. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277.md?page=3)