# Rihanna taking back Chris Brown. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 4, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277 "2009-03-04T15:41:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ellef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8dc957/32.png) [@Ellef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellef)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/41 "2009-03-05T13:05:21Z")
There was a case rather like this a few years ago in the UK, involving Ulrika Jonsson (TV weathergirl turned all-purpose celeb and recent winner of Celebrity Big Brother) and her then-boyfriend Stan Collymore. He hit her in a bar in Paris (because he wanted to leave and she wanted to stay, IIRC) and she dumped him immediately. She’s not someone I’d normally admire, but I really admired her for that. ---
**Author:** ![Strassia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@Strassia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strassia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/42 "2009-03-05T16:32:31Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > So, if I’m understanding correctly, not getting laughed at is justfication for beating a woman? Go figure. :rolleyes: No but it is a reason that many male victims of female violence will not report it to anyone. My wife is a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter than me. I could probably subdue her just by falling on her. If she went nuts and attacked me she could still seriously hurt me. If I defend myself, even just trying to pin her arms, I could also injure her. If the police show up at that point, I am more likely to get arrested than her. If I just take it while trying to remove myself, I have the option of reporting her and enduring ridicule from the police and, if it becomes public knowledge, my peers and the internet at large. If a 5’0", 120 lbs guy walks up to a 6’ 220 lbs guy and attacks him and gets knocked down, it would be considered self defense and no one would blame the big guy. If it was a 5’ woman, it may be legally the same, but socially it is not and many legal agencies would not treat it the same. > [@SaharaTea](#): > > Where is the report that the bite marks were on the inside of her arm? The first I heard of this was a radio report that mentioned inner arm, but I cannot find any online citation, so it could very well be wrong. The only sources say arm and fingers. The most logical explanation for that is that her hand was in his face, which could be her trying to fend him off, or her attacking him. That and the fact that he had a black eye made me wonder who started it. If he hit her first, I doubt she would be able to effectively fight back. Jonathan ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/43 "2009-03-05T16:35:42Z")
The cops who were there say she complained to them that the beatings were getting worse. So obviously he was beating her regularly. Disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/44 "2009-03-05T16:48:53Z")
I read somewhere that the average abused person gets beaten _seven_ times before they leave their abusive partner. That is just sick beyond on belief. Quincy Massachusetts set up the first program where an abuser is immediately charged by the state and put in jail. The abused gets a restraining order and the abuser is only released is they agree they cannot have any contact whatsoever with the abused. If they do, it’s back to jail. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/45 "2009-03-05T16:58:44Z")
According to TMZ, [more details](http://www.tmz.com/2009/03/05/chris-brown-rihanna-police-report/) of the attack: > [@](#): > > FOX 11 in L.A. obtained LAPD detectives notes from a search warrant in the case. According to the notes, Rihanna read a three-page text message on Brown’s phone from a woman. An argument ensued and Brown allegedly tried forcing Rihanna out of the car but couldn’t because she was wearing her seat belt. > > Brown then allegedly shoved Rihanna’s head against the passenger window. When Rihanna turned to face him, Brown punched her, then continued punching her while driving, according to the detective’s notes. > > Blood spattered all over Rihanna’s clothing and in the interior of the car. Her mouth was filled with blood. > > Brown allegedly told Rihanna, “I’m going to beat the \*\*\*\* out of you when we get home. You wait and see.” > > Rihanna called her assistant and left a message saying, “I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there.” > > Brown then replied, “You just did the stupidest thing ever. I’m going to kill you.” > > According to the report, Brown continued to punch Rihanna, bit her on her ear, her fingers and put her in a headlock – she almost lost consciousness. ---
**Author:** ![Strassia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@Strassia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strassia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/46 "2009-03-05T18:28:14Z")
> [@SaharaTea](#): > > According to TMZ, [more details](http://www.tmz.com/2009/03/05/chris-brown-rihanna-police-report/) of the attack: Assuming that is accurate and the fight took place mostly in the car, it is plausible that she was trying to defend herself when he bit her. I was having a hard time seeing how he bit her fingers if they were outside the car. Inside it makes more sense. Jonathan ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/47 "2009-03-05T18:35:12Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > But how do you know she was the victim? Of course she was beaten up, but we have no idea about the circumstances under which this incident occurred. He, apparently, was also hurt. Not that it excuses either one of them, but it seems a little premature to start branding people victims or villains. Well, okay, but if she wasn’t the victim, then that’s another reason why we shouldn’t brand her as a bad person for staying with him. Either way, I don’t think we get to condemn her as being a bad role model. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/48 "2009-03-05T18:46:12Z")
And she went back. I repeat, my heart bleeds for her. It’s such a common tragedy, but we are shocked when it happens to a woman who has achieved so much. Too bad we are not always shocked by it. She should have the freedom to live a joyful loving life. Instead, she’s caged by whatever childhood abuse set her up for this. Chances are good this is what her entire life has been like. Her Father probably did the same to her Mother. He probably helped convince her to return. The more I hear about it the more I ache for her. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/49 "2009-03-05T19:44:45Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > I didn’t know that about American law, and I find that very interesting. I’ve googled a bit, but can’t get through the thousands of lawyers ads that Google yields. Would you perhaps have a cite for me where I can read more about that phenomenon? Especially how it affects male/female relationships in the USA? Thanks in advance. [Relevant article](http://www.seattleweekly.com/2007-10-31/news/how-the-cops-and-courts-turn-abused-spouses-into-voiceless-victims.php) ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/50 "2009-03-05T19:44:51Z")
Chris Brown charged with 2 felonies. [http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090305/ap\_on\_en\_mu/people\_chris\_brown](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090305/ap_on_en_mu/people_chris_brown) ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/51 "2009-03-05T20:07:54Z")
> [@SaharaTea](#): > > According to TMZ, [more details](http://www.tmz.com/2009/03/05/chris-brown-rihanna-police-report/) of the attack: [Here](http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/03/05/chris.brown.charged/index.html)’s the whole statement by the LAPD. It’s pretty brutal. If she is indeed taking him back she needs help. Fast. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/52 "2009-03-05T20:47:53Z")
I’d say he needs help too. Help locking the door to his jail cell. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/53 "2009-03-05T20:59:37Z")
I think he needs a little punishment coupled with a lot of reform. To be exploding on someone like this at age 19 is just . . . I just find it very unlikely that his brief adult life has been so jading to him that he created this behavior on his own. It’s probably a pretty safe bet that he witnessed and/or was the victim of some pretty brutal abuse growing up. All the punishment in the world isn’t going to prevent him from doing this again if he doesn’t work on his issues, so thirsting for that is really just asking for blood, and counter-productively, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![planetcory](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/planetcory/32/1032_2.png) [@planetcory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/planetcory)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277/54 "2009-03-05T21:22:55Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > It’s probably a pretty safe bet that he witnessed and/or was the victim of some pretty brutal abuse growing up. Yeah. > [@](#): > > In a 2007 interview with GIANT magazine, Brown spoke about a time when he was 11 and he told his mother that he would go to jail for killing his allegedly abusive stepfather. > > ``` > “He used to hit my mom… He made me terrified all the time,” Brown claimed during the interview with GIANT magazine. “I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, ‘I’m just gonna go crazy on him one day…’ I hate him to this day.” > > ``` Source: [http://www.eurweb.com/story/eur50799.cfm](http://www.eurweb.com/story/eur50799.cfm) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rihanna-taking-back-chris-brown/488277.md?page=2)