# Ring buying advice, non-engagement **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463 "2009-07-09T15:48:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/1 "2009-07-09T15:48:41Z")
Hello all, I’m thinking of getting my SO a ring for her birthday. It began as an idea to get her jewelry (which she loves) and slowly morphed into this as I realized 1.) she has more than enough necklaces and bracelets 2.) our relationship is at a point where a ring would be an appropriate gift. I’ve checked with her and she does like the idea. Figure that my budget is sub $200, that she is fairly small (5ft, 100 pounds), and that her fingers are more pudgy than long and elegant. A couple of questions: 1.) The big division is between colored stone rings and Celtic\* (or Norse or similar) design rings. The former is probably the more common, but we share an interest in the older northern European cultures and the latter would carry some meaning. She’d like either and, if colored stones, would probably be as happy with amethyst as sapphire (likes purple, a lot). Any thoughts on which is better, given the price range? 2.) How about material? Price ranges can really hurt here. Ideally, this ring would last until supplanted by another ring in about 3-4 years, so that’s the kind of lifespan I have in mind. 3.) Any recommendations on where to buy such? The local town jewelers aim at a somewhat different market. \*I’ve ruled out a traditional claddagh ring (though the symbolism is perfect) because I gave my last very serious girlfriend one about 6 months before dumping her. The end of that relationship wasn’t my proudest moment (f-k LD) and the design strikes me as ill-omened by contagion. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/2 "2009-07-09T16:19:51Z")
Er, um, will SHE think it’s an engagement ring? ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/3 "2009-07-09T16:35:46Z")
This site has a ton of Celtic-style rings, with and without stones, with plenty of price points: [http://www.celticjewelry.com/item.php?co=RH006S](http://www.celticjewelry.com/item.php?co=RH006S) ---
**Author:** ![Gomi5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8491ac/32.png) [@Gomi5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gomi5)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/4 "2009-07-09T16:41:42Z")
I can’t help you with 1) or 2), but for 3, have you tried looking on etsy? ([www.etsy.com](http://www.etsy.com)) If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a site where artists can sell their handmade items, so it’s a great place to find things that are more off the beaten path. I’ve been very happy with the different items I’ve purchased, and there’s one hell of a giant selection. Good luck finding the perfect ring! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/5 "2009-07-09T16:55:11Z")
One possible starting place is deciding on a metal. Does she like yellow gold? Is she more of a silver/white metal girl? The metal might guide stone color (some things don’t look right set in yellow gold) and design (I’d think something that looks good in platinum might look weird in pewter). Keep in mind that sterling silver is relatively cheap but also relatively soft, and can get dented or bent out of shape fairly easily (which would be a more common problem with a ring, esp. one she wears frequently or daily). If that’s an issue, platinum or white gold might work better. Also, does she own any other rings? If there’s something she wears frequently, try to find something in a similar overall look. Like, a big chunky doorknob will look funny if her other fingers have small, delicate rings. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/6 "2009-07-09T17:22:30Z")
A comment on amethysts: My engagement ring was an amethyst (that had belonged to my mother in law), as my spouse-to-be was in grad school and a formal ring wasn’t in the budget. After some years of wearing it, it began to develop a couple of minor scratches. While beautiful, they aren’t the most durable of stones for everyday wear. So, consider the likely wearing-pattern (special occasion only, daily and works in an office, daily and works as an auto mechanic / ditchdigger) when deciding whether or not to purchase one. ---
**Author:** ![Kingspades](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecae2f/32.png) [@Kingspades](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kingspades)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/7 "2009-07-09T19:06:55Z")
My favorite place to buy jewelry for \*\*SeptemberDay \*_is Brighton. They’ve got a good selection of designs and often make them in matching sets (complementing ring, earrings, bracelet, necklace). [Here](http://www.brighton.com/collections/?collection=GATEWAY) are a [few](http://www.brighton.com/collections/?collection=SPRG%20HILL) of the [sets](http://www.brighton.com/collections/?collection=DECO%20LACE) I’ve gotten for her in the past year or so. If you have a store near you, it’s definitely worth stopping in. I’ve always found the salesladies_ very helpful and low-key. They’ll also gift wrap your things with tins and tissue and gift bags and make it look like a million bucks. ( \* Come to think of it I’ve never seen a guy working at a Brighton store. Huh. ) ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/8 "2009-07-09T19:57:41Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Er, um, will SHE think it’s an engagement ring? This is why I talked to her about it in advance :-P. No, she knows it’s a “we’ve been together for quite awhile and intend to stay together for quite awhile longer” sort of ring and not an engagement ring. > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > One possible starting place is deciding on a metal. > > Does she like yellow gold? Is she more of a silver/white metal girl? The metal might guide stone color (some things don’t look right set in yellow gold) and design (I’d think something that looks good in platinum might look weird in pewter). > > Keep in mind that sterling silver is relatively cheap but also relatively soft, and can get dented or bent out of shape fairly easily (which would be a more common problem with a ring, esp. one she wears frequently or daily). If that’s an issue, platinum or white gold might work better. > > Also, does she own any other rings? If there’s something she wears frequently, try to find something in a similar overall look. Like, a big chunky doorknob will look funny if her other fingers have small, delicate rings. She doesn’t have any other rings (another reason I asked her about this, didn’t want to get her one if she had reason for despising them). Thanks for the advice on material. Tell me, do you think yellow gold might have a problem of not matching? I was thinking white gold, but was afraid i may have ruled out yellow too soon. > [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > A comment on amethysts: My engagement ring was an amethyst (that had belonged to my mother in law), as my spouse-to-be was in grad school and a formal ring wasn’t in the budget. After some years of wearing it, it began to develop a couple of minor scratches. While beautiful, they aren’t the most durable of stones for everyday wear. So, consider the likely wearing-pattern (special occasion only, daily and works in an office, daily and works as an auto mechanic / ditchdigger) when deciding whether or not to purchase one. Daily wear, student is the thought. It’s not a forever sort of thing, so i might be safe with that. Thanks for all the advice! ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/9 "2009-07-09T20:05:51Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > This site has a ton of Celtic-style rings, with and without stones, with plenty of price points: > > [http://www.celticjewelry.com/item.php?co=RH006S](http://www.celticjewelry.com/item.php?co=RH006S) Interesting site. seems to have a bit of a bimodal price distribution though (sterling silver, cheaper than i’m thinking, 18 caret gold, more expensive). Good to know about though. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/10 "2009-07-09T20:53:19Z")
> [@Telcontar](#): > > snip… Tell me, do you think yellow gold might have a problem of not matching? I was thinking white gold, but was afraid i may have ruled out yellow too soon. …/snip Sorry, I’m not following. Would yellow gold might have a problem of not matching … what? Her skin tone? Other yellow gold items? Or other colors of other metals? (Most yellow gold matches other yellow gold, I guess. Various metals … it would depend on the combo.) There’s nothing wrong with white gold. In fact, there’s a host of lesser-known metals used in jewelry, and she might like the aspect of having something a little less common. You can do really interesting things with copper, for example. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/11 "2009-07-09T21:11:17Z")
\*\*Definitely \*\*match the material to the other jewelry she wears. Go with yellow gold if she mostly wears yellow gold (-colored) jewelry. If most of the jewelry she wears is silver (-colored), go with silver, white gold, platinum, pewter, etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Picard_Kills_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/12 "2009-07-10T05:06:09Z")
Don’t forget to look at some jewelry made of rose gold. Before I got married, my wife and I were having the hardest time finding the right ring for me. I have fair skin so all the dark titanium rings washed me out and the yellow and white just didn’t look nice against my skin which has a sort of pink color. I finally found a ring that has two white gold strips on the outside and a broad rose gold strip on the inside and it looks great. I think I’m starting to ramble, but at least check out rose gold. ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/13 "2009-07-10T06:30:09Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Sorry, I’m not following. Would yellow gold might have a problem of not matching … what? Her skin tone? Other yellow gold items? Or other colors of other metals? > > (Most yellow gold matches other yellow gold, I guess. Various metals … it would depend on the combo.) > > There’s nothing wrong with white gold. In fact, there’s a host of lesser-known metals used in jewelry, and she might like the aspect of having something a little less common. You can do really interesting things with copper, for example. Meant what Shot From Guns says below you. Matching other jewelry, clothing colors, etc. One good thing about silver, and also white gold, is that it goes with almost any combination of colors. Yellow is more of an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/14 "2009-07-10T08:48:01Z")
Sterling silver is as good a choice as gold, as far as durability. As far as I can tell, even less likely to get squished out of shape than gold. I was going to mention rose gold, which is very nice and is the gold color of choice for a lot of fair-skinned people. And if she likes green stones, let me recommend tsavorite, which is as hard as an emerald (or almost so) but a lot cheaper. It’s like the green version of a garnet–natural and untreated except for faceting. ---
**Author:** ![bathsheba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@bathsheba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bathsheba)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/15 "2009-07-10T09:20:35Z")
I’m going to say what I always say in these threads - consider vintage. Here’s some good picks from ebay. I’m not suggesting you have to buy from there but these will give you an idea of what sort of thing you may be able to find irl. [Art deco white gold diamond (reproduction)](http://cgi.ebay.com/ANTIQUE-14K-WHITE-GOLD-and-DIAMOND-FILIGREE-RING_W0QQitemZ280368851755QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Fine_Jewelry?hash=item4147492b2b&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1325%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50) [Emerald and white gold](http://cgi.ebay.com/Antique-Art-Deco-Emerald-18K-White-Gold-Ring-Sz-10-1-2_W0QQitemZ220419285259QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Fine_Jewelry?hash=item335203610b&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1325%7C293%3A2%7C294%3A50) [Opal and yellow gold](http://cgi.ebay.com/c1920-Large-BLACK-OPAL-RING-14K-GOLD-WIDE-3Z25_W0QQitemZ220444565043QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Fine_Jewelry?hash=item3353851e33&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1325%7C293%3A3%7C294%3A50) [More art deco](http://cgi.ebay.com/ANTIQUE-ART-DECO-MINE-CUT-DIAMOND-RING-18kt-WHITE-GOLD_W0QQitemZ260283995188QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Fine_Jewelry?hash=item3c9a229434&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1325%7C293%3A3%7C294%3A50) [Something unusual](http://cgi.ebay.com/Antique-Plat-Set-Emerald-Diamond-Gold-Ring_W0QQitemZ330304709387QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Fine_Jewelry?hash=item4ce7b1e30b&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1325%7C293%3A6%7C294%3A50) [Value here with this pretty ring](http://cgi.ebay.com/18-Y-GOLD-LADIES-ESTATE-ANTIQUE-VINTAGE-DIAMOND-RING_W0QQitemZ140321978524QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Fine_Jewelry?hash=item20abd7789c&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1325%7C293%3A8%7C294%3A50) [I like me some unusual](http://cgi.ebay.com/Gorgeous-Art-Nouveau-18K-Gold-Mine-cut-Diamond-Ring_W0QQitemZ330336746737QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Fine_Jewelry?hash=item4ce99abcf1&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1325%7C293%3A9%7C294%3A50) [Three of my favourite things, art deco, unusual and good value](http://cgi.ebay.com/Antique-ART-DECO-Gold-Platinum-Sapphire-Diamond-Ring_W0QQitemZ220448079614QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Fine_Jewelry?hash=item3353babefe&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1325%7C293%3A12%7C294%3A50) ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/16 "2009-07-10T14:29:25Z")
> [@Telcontar](#): > > Meant what Shot From Guns says below you. Matching other jewelry, clothing colors, etc. One good thing about silver, and also white gold, is that it goes with almost any combination of colors. Yellow is more of an issue. One thing to keep in mind is that rings are typically exempt from “going with” the rest of your clothing or jewelry in the same way that one’s eyeglass frames are exempt, and for basically the same reason. Look at what she has and wears already. It’s a fairly rare outfit that really looks significantly better with one metal tone over the other; most look fine either way, and the choice really comes down to which one the wearer prefers in general. Most women have a fairly distinct preference that becomes pretty obvious when you look at the jewelry they wear on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/17 "2009-07-10T14:47:48Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > One thing to keep in mind is that rings are typically exempt from “going with” the rest of your clothing or jewelry [snip] Most women have a fairly distinct preference that becomes pretty obvious when you look at the jewelry they wear on a regular basis. This is what I think most of us were thinking about when we discussed “matching.” You’re not worried about the jewelry clashing with what she wears in terms of clothes/jewelry–you’re looking to get something that fits in with her established preference. (E.g, personally, I dislike yellow gold, and almost never wear it.) ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2009, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/18 "2009-07-12T15:01:00Z")
After much playing around online, I think I’m going to get this one: [http://cgi.ebay.com/Gold-10K-Ladies-Trinity-Knot-Irish-Celtic-Ring-Size-7\_W0QQitemZ380105424390QQcmdZViewItemQQptZGemstone\_Rings?hash=item58800c7e06&\_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&\_trkparms=65%3A12|66%3A2|39%3A1|72%3A1240|293%3A1|294%3A50](http://cgi.ebay.com/Gold-10K-Ladies-Trinity-Knot-Irish-Celtic-Ring-Size-7_W0QQitemZ380105424390QQcmdZViewItemQQptZGemstone_Rings?hash=item58800c7e06&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1240%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50) Though I was tempted by this: [http://cgi.ebay.com/14KT-WHITE-Gold-Celtic-Knot-Ring-SIZE-7-Irish-Scottish\_W0QQitemZ350220058491QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS\_Fine\_Rings?hash=item518abdff7b&\_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&\_trkparms=65%3A12|66%3A1|39%3A1|72%3A1240|293%3A5|294%3A25](http://cgi.ebay.com/14KT-WHITE-Gold-Celtic-Knot-Ring-SIZE-7-Irish-Scottish_W0QQitemZ350220058491QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Fine_Rings?hash=item518abdff7b&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A1%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1240%7C293%3A5%7C294%3A25) Any final thoughts? Thanks for all the advice! ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2009, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/19 "2009-07-12T15:37:40Z")
> [@Telcontar](#): > > Any final thoughts? Be worried if she starts referring to it as “Precious”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463/20 "2009-07-12T16:01:23Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Be worried if she starts referring to it as “Precious”. 😃 I’ll watch for that :). I suppose there’s also this one, hadn’t noticed it before. > **[Pardon Our Interruption...](https://www.ebay.com/splashui/challenge?ap=1&appName=orch&ru=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.com%2Fitm%2FCELTIC-IRISH-9ct-375-Solid-Gold-Emerald-Diamond-Ring_W0QQitemZ180376972309QQcmdZViewItemQQptZAU_Womens_Jewellery%3Fhash%3Ditem29ff4e2c15%26_trksid%3Dp3286.c0.m14%26_trkparms%3D65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1326%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50&iid=d63a5fc6-cdda-4b25-bb99-cf33c643378f&iim=VMTg0Lja&iia=cWEwNS45dP&iiz=fbrOS4xMDA*UsS)** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ring-buying-advice-non-engagement/502463.md?page=2)