# RIP: @Elbows Husband Has Just Died **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2025, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869 "2025-11-15T07:25:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2025, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/1 "2025-11-15T07:25:18Z")
In case anyone isn’t following Puzzlegal’s thread about her husband’s illness, @elbows has shared some very sad news: [My husband is seriously ill - #160](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-husband-is-seriously-ill/1023019/160) {moved from this thread by What Exit?} I am sorry to hear this. @elbows, if you need some financial assistance with expenses or there is a memorial contribution to an organization in his honor, some members here would contribute. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/2 "2025-11-14T09:48:56Z")
My husband passed, in our home, a week ago. We did the intake interviews, but declined in home hospice care, after some consideration. And, as I had felt so strongly, we really did not require it. Our PCP was willing to prescribe pain meds, and is very nearby our house, so further care was easily accessed if we had needed it. But we didn’t. I have never arranged a funeral, thank heavens for my friends, they shepherded me through it all, I’d have been so lost. I am stunned what a grieving loved one must manage at such a difficult time. I hope I never have to do it again. It very much feels like I’m suddenly living in a different world and I am very much, a different person than I was a week ago. Exhaustion saw me sleeping the first few days, now it’s getting to be a struggle. Just as winter’s cold and darkness descends. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/3 "2025-11-14T10:18:44Z")
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you have friends around to help you, and who _do_ actually help you. Yes, what a grieving spouse has to go through/deal with over and above, you know, _grief,_ in today’s world can be ridiculous. At this point I can look back at some of it and laugh, but I’m still angry about some of it. (YMMV - you feel how you feel. It’s neither wrong nor right it just is) You are, indeed, living in a different world. Issues with sleep are not unusual. Now that you have given your husband your final gift of caring for him to the very end it is time to take care of YOU. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time and space to grieve, to feel whatever you feel or don’t feel. You will still have to deal with the world and its demands but in between those demands take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/4 "2025-11-14T10:47:00Z")
I am very sorry to hear that. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/5 "2025-11-14T10:51:46Z")
I’m really sorry to hear about this. I wish you the best as you go through a rough and trying time. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/6 "2025-11-14T11:18:57Z")
I’m very sorry. Take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/7 "2025-11-14T12:06:08Z")
I’m sorry you’ve suffered this loss. Welcome to the club nobody wants to join. I can’t offer any advice that @Broomstick hasn’t already said better than I would’ve. I will say it gets easier. Slowly. Big {{Hugs}} from an invisible stranger. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/8 "2025-11-14T12:37:25Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > My husband passed, in our home, a week ago. I’m so sorry you’ve suffered this terrible loss! > [@elbows](#): > > I have never arranged a funeral, thank heavens for my friends, they shepherded me through it all, Words seem so inadequate, but the people closest to you have come through for you, and that is grand! 💓 ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/9 "2025-11-14T12:51:30Z")
My most profound condolences, @elbows ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/10 "2025-11-14T13:01:34Z")
I’m so sorry Elbows. Please take good care of yourself. Puzzlegal, I’m wishing you and your husband the very best as you go through this time. As a one time blood recipient, I’m very grateful for folks like your generous spouse. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/11 "2025-11-14T13:16:08Z")
I’m very sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing for you. I, too, have no useful advice, but @Broomstick is wise. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/12 "2025-11-14T13:38:40Z")
Oh, I’m so sorry, Elbows. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/13 "2025-11-14T13:40:58Z")
@elbows, I’m very sorry for your loss; and glad your friends are helping. Grieve how you need to. Different people need to do it differently. But don’t be surprised if your mind doesn’t seem to be working right for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/14 "2025-11-14T13:46:33Z")
So sorry to hear it, **Elbows**. I’m glad you have friends helping you, and that you are accepting their help. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/15 "2025-11-14T14:00:35Z")
i’m so sorry elbows. may his memory be eternal. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/16 "2025-11-14T14:23:09Z")
@elbows, what you are going through is my greatest fear. My heart goes out to you. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/17 "2025-11-14T14:31:24Z")
@elbows I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank goodness for your friends. Stay connected. How does that saying go? A joy shared might be twice the joy, while a sorrow shared might be half the sorrow. ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/18 "2025-11-14T17:12:19Z")
I am so sorry for your loss **elbows**. I hope you’re able to continue to lean on friends as you find your way forward. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/19 "2025-11-14T18:04:18Z")
I am sorry for your loss, @elbows I am glad to see that helping hands and healing hearts are with you in this difficult time. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2025, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869/20 "2025-11-14T18:04:50Z")
Sorry for your loss @elbows. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-elbows-husband-has-just-died/1024869.md?page=2)