# \[RIP\] This afternoon my beloved wife of 40 years entered hospice care. Don't want to talk about it. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 31, 2017, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803 "2017-05-31T23:09:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/181 "2017-06-11T11:17:43Z")
So I can skip it? I really, truly don’t want to go thru an endless round of “thank you”'s. I’d prefer to go on as if nothing happened. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/182 "2017-06-11T11:34:09Z")
You can absolutely do as you wish. Anyone bordering on disapproving will surely understand this is a difficult time for you. Wishing you peace. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/183 "2017-06-11T11:44:53Z")
“Keep an eye on him. He’s fragile.” Among her last words to my kids. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/184 "2017-06-11T12:01:14Z")
Yes absolutely you can skip church! I am so very sorry for your pain and loss. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/185 "2017-06-11T12:57:03Z")
I am very sorry to learn this, **dropzone**. Be well. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/186 "2017-06-11T13:06:31Z")
I will, and I will continue to be a flirtations SOB. Except with more permission. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/187 "2017-06-11T13:09:29Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > So I can skip it? I really, truly don’t want to go thru an endless round of “thank you”'s. I’d prefer to go on as if nothing happened. Life is not going to make that easy to do. Just do your best. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/188 "2017-06-11T13:12:31Z")
No, you do not have to go to church. People deal with shock and grief in different ways and at different times. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/189 "2017-06-11T21:09:21Z")
Have I mentioned that I love you people, my invisible friends, as she called you? Don’t let it go to your heads. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/190 "2017-06-11T21:53:39Z")
We’re glad to help. Try to sleep and eat. It’s easy to forget to do those things. One of my best friends died a couple years ago after a long slow descent into disability and misery. Later after his wife had more or less regained her life she told me that it was utterly disorienting in the week or so immediately after he died. 100% of her daily routine for years had been wrapped up in working on his problem. Suddenly it wasn’t there. It just wasn’t there. Instead there was a vast emptiness. Hour after hour of emptiness with no idea what to do to fill it or how to do it. You’ll probably feel something similar. Don’t fret; it’s normal. We’re good here at filling hours. Just ask. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/191 "2017-06-11T23:12:22Z")
I just want to die. Even more than normal. Or I want ice cream. What I want is to go back to work and be a robot. What I don’t want is to crawl back in a bottle. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/192 "2017-06-11T23:20:23Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I just want to die. Even more than normal. Or I want ice cream. > > What I want is to go back to work and be a robot. What I don’t want is to crawl back in a bottle. ☹ My vote is that you go for the ice cream. Hugs. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/193 "2017-06-11T23:32:35Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I just want to die. Even more than normal. Or I want ice cream. > > What I want is to go back to work and be a robot. What I don’t want is to crawl back in a bottle. Ice cream, work good. Work gives you a way to numb yourself. I expect you’ll be needing a bit of that. It’s gonna be rough. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2017, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/194 "2017-06-12T01:45:00Z")
Ice cream. Or walking. Whatever. But not the bottle. It only delays the reckoning. With interest. ---
**Author:** ![stolatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@stolatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolatt)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2017, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/195 "2017-06-12T01:46:59Z")
I’m sorry you’re feeling so awful. I hope you have some peeps to lean on. I lost someone I had been looking after and I had no idea what to do with myself. It helped me greatly to spend time with loved ones. After a while, I felt like I should cobble together some kind of life and it takes time. May I recommend the mint chocolate chip? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2017, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/196 "2017-06-12T11:05:23Z")
I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss. Keep your chin up; remember the good times. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2017, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/197 "2017-06-12T20:59:19Z")
How are things today, **dropzone**? Thinking of you. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2017, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/198 "2017-06-12T22:52:50Z")
didn’t make it to work, printed out the cremation docs I didn’t know I needed, couldn’t get them notarized because I lost my photo id, willgo back tomorrow with a daughter, made it to VBS, ate a hot dog. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2017, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/199 "2017-06-12T23:01:03Z")
For day 5, that counts as success. Good on ya’. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2017, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/200 "2017-06-12T23:06:20Z")
It’s good to see the update. More hugs. {{{ **Dropzone** }}} [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803.md?page=11)