# \[RIP\] This afternoon my beloved wife of 40 years entered hospice care. Don't want to talk about it. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 31, 2017, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803 "2017-05-31T23:09:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Wednesday\_Evening](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2017, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/161 "2017-06-08T21:45:48Z")
I’m so very sorry, **dropzone**. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2017, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/162 "2017-06-08T22:34:16Z")
I’m sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2017, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/163 "2017-06-09T00:46:26Z")
So sorry to hear this news, my condolences. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2017, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/164 "2017-06-09T01:34:27Z")
Sorry for your loss, and pleased for you that you loved her for forty years. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2017, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/165 "2017-06-09T02:58:58Z")
You have my deepest condolences. May your memories sustain you through this difficult time. RIP Pam. ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2017, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/166 "2017-06-09T07:18:47Z")
☹ I’m so sorry, dropzone. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2017, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/167 "2017-06-09T08:05:08Z")
My condolences **dropzone** , to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2017, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/168 "2017-06-09T13:42:35Z")
Condolences to you and your family and all those who mourn the loss of your wife. Knowing you, I am sure she was an exceptional person in every way. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2017, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/169 "2017-06-09T18:46:15Z")
_hugs_ ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2017, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/170 "2017-06-09T20:15:53Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2017, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/171 "2017-06-10T18:01:24Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I am so sorry. She sounds like quite the lady. I’d love to hear more stories about her when you’re ready. Name a topic. She made me feel stupid. My ego is far too big to feel stupid. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2017, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/172 "2017-06-10T18:08:33Z")
When she was 17 her chem teacher wangled her a full ride at Northwestern, but her parents wouldn’t sign the release. “You’ll miss prom and all the other joys of senior year,” like life was an Andy Hardy movie. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2017, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/173 "2017-06-10T19:26:51Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2017, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/174 "2017-06-10T20:36:34Z")
She would want me to go to church tomorrow. “They’re my friends. It’s your duty.” But I really don’t want to talk about it! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2017, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/175 "2017-06-10T20:51:10Z")
You have my most sincere condolences, dropzone. I’m glad that you have family and friends to help you through this, talking about it or not. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/176 "2017-06-11T01:29:13Z")
My deepest sympathies. As so many have said, words are all we have for each other yet they’re so very small when faced with something so very big. Take care of yourself. The rest can wait. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/177 "2017-06-11T02:21:08Z")
I’m so sorry to hear that she’s gone, Dropzone. > [@dropzone](#): > > She would want me to go to church tomorrow. “They’re my friends. It’s your duty.” But I really don’t want to talk about it! Do go to church if you can drag yourself. She also wanted her friends to support you; it’s their duty to do so, and yours to give them the chance. {{{{{Dropzone}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/178 "2017-06-11T06:45:27Z")
duty is overbearing. Can I just ignore it? I don’t want to talk to people because I will cry. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/179 "2017-06-11T07:11:13Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > duty is overbearing. Can I just ignore it? I don’t want to talk to people because I will cry. It’s OK. Handle things as you can. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2017, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803/180 "2017-06-11T08:41:36Z")
You can go to church next week (or the week after). They will understand. Facing a large group of people so soon can be overwhelming. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rip-this-afternoon-my-beloved-wife-of-40-years-entered-hospice-care-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/787803.md?page=10)