This is why you’re on the list DZ. We are not the kids. It’s ok to just tell us. You can also go to sleep. That’s ok too.
And why i love you. This long I know nobody. But where’s my buddy?
Upstairs, crapping on the carpet. FTR.+
W/o dark drugs, it’s far where i can dig. used to be paid for it. Used to be the 7.00s. Long ago.
Didn’t used to get me that drunk that easy. I mean, at least i couldve figured out what i intended intended to say. 
G’night.
Please take care of yourself. Ask for help if you need to stay away from the bottle.
::knock knock:: Hey, are you up?
This.
The woman I mentioned up-thread had a similar experience. 10 years caring daily for an ever-deepening decline. He was all but a zombie the last 18 months. She didn’t begrudge him a bit; they were as close to soulmates as anyone else I know. Not caring for him to the final moment was unthinkable.
But once over the shock of his final departure a new and successful life unfolded for her from the ashes of the old.
It’s a little early for dear **dropzone **to be looking for that. But he should know that the current disorientation, guilt, anger, love, loneliness, resentment, and 15 other things spinning in an emotional tornado is a temporary thing.
What’s next can be different. And wonderfully so. If you can live for yourself as effectively and as diligently as you lived for her.
#204, the most precious thread in SDMB. You’re OK, DZ.
I spent two thirds of my life making sure i could support her. Don’t know much else, besides drinking.
I sympathize with you. I recently lost two close family members, but not as close as yours. I hope that you get closure, acceptance, and a renewed sense of purpose as soon as possible. Also serenity.
I love drinking beer, and probably can’t anymore. All that drinking does is mask the feelings and provide momentary chemical relief. Aside from that it’s mostly not a good thing to do regularly. Do you for a while but make sure to REALLY do you in the very soon future.
Memorial’s Monday. Need to be cold sober for it.
Indeed. I actually teared up a bit reading it. Hang in there, buddy.
This from a noob. Take THAT, least coherent poster thread! 
I appreciate that, kid who doesn’t know me. I wish I didn’t know how to smile without sounding sarcastic. 
I have no intention to wear a tie, much less a jacket, to the memorial/funeral. In this weather? Israeli Formal, though I’ll wear full sleeves. One must remain civilized.
At VBS last night we had a minor flood. Wife spent a year as main property commissioner, which meant that the usual suspects needed no direction, she just gave reports. One of the Daves extended his condolences, but added, “She was a piece of work.” Finally! Not a hagiography. Yes, she was indeed a piece of work.
Will you be speaking at the service?
Daughter and pastor are planning it. Neither has warned me. I should ask.
VBS has kept me around kids all week. Very thereuputic. And the high schoolers where i have dinner are funny. Pretty sophomore with long legs was explaining to handsome sophomore how she skinned her knee. He started to stroke her leg. I said nothing because I lost my virginity on the grounds of a Lutheran church.
Your marriage stories remind me of American Splendor, Harvey Pekar’s autobiographical comics. He was completely candid with how he would drive his wife Joyce insane with his obsessions and compulsive behavior. After he died, she had him cremated, stored his ashes in an urn, and said she now had a backup for whenever she ran out of kitty litter.
Daughters want small samples. Some others will go into tulip beds at a park she loved. Didn’t know what to do with the rest. Need a cat.