# Ripped from the Monty Python sketch book **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740 "2001-08-10T08:10:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/1 "2001-08-10T08:10:46Z")
Add your original or MP replies. It begins… “Hello, I’d like to have an argument, please.” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/2 "2001-08-11T04:33:48Z")
“This is abuse–argument is down the hall.” ---
**Author:** ![seriousart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@seriousart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seriousart)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/3 "2001-08-11T04:55:20Z")
No it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/4 "2001-08-11T07:49:09Z")
Yes it is! ::hits seriousart on head with backjack:: Say “WAAAAAA!” ---
**Author:** ![gryphil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gryphil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gryphil)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/5 "2001-08-11T08:00:17Z")
I think my parrot is dead… ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/6 "2001-08-11T08:02:29Z")
And now for something completely different! Host: With me now is Norman St. John Polevaulter, who for the last few years has been contradicting people. St. John Polevaulter, why do you contradict people? Polevaulter : I don’t! Host: But you… you told me that you did. Polevaulter: I most certainly did not! Host: Oh. I see. I’ll start again. Polevaulter: No you won’t! Host: Ssh! I understand you don’t contradict people. Polevaulter: Yes I do! Host: And when didn’t you start contradicting them? Polevaulter: I did! In 1952! Host: 1952. Polevaulter: 1947! Host: 23 years ago. Polevaulter: No! ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/7 "2001-08-11T08:03:39Z")
Notice they do not so much fly as plummet… ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/8 "2001-08-11T08:14:09Z")
Sorry seriousart, I didn’t mean to hit you on the head with a BACKjack. That might hurt. I meant BLACKjack, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/9 "2001-08-11T12:45:51Z")
Dinsdale… ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/10 "2001-08-11T13:23:50Z")
ALBATROSS! ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/11 "2001-08-11T15:05:45Z")
And now… The Larch. [pause] The Larch. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/12 "2001-08-11T21:41:24Z")
:: **Eutychus** explodes in a giant display of pyrotechnics:: The first lesson in not being seen: Do not shout “ALBATROSS.” ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/13 "2001-08-11T23:32:52Z")
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! ---
**Author:** ![ninja\_rydr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8491ac/32.png) [@ninja\_rydr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninja_rydr)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/14 "2001-08-11T23:39:27Z")
Come back here, I’ll bite your legs off! ---
**Author:** ![jdavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f6c823/32.png) [@jdavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jdavis)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2001, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/15 "2001-08-11T23:53:18Z")
“HELP! HELP! I’m being repressed!” ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/16 "2001-08-12T00:07:17Z")
“THE…CHURCH…POLICE!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/17 "2001-08-12T00:20:55Z")
I fart in your general direction! ---
**Author:** ![fenrir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/43a26b/32.png) [@fenrir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fenrir)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/18 "2001-08-12T00:25:05Z")
[http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Images/mp\_fb.gif](http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Images/mp_fb.gif) ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/19 "2001-08-12T03:03:26Z")
[And Now For Something Completely Different, again](http://www.geocities.co.jp/Hollywood/9060/holye.html). …And pointed sticks. ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/20 "2001-08-12T03:06:05Z")
And then the oral sex! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740.md?page=2)