# Ripped from the Monty Python sketch book **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740 "2001-08-10T08:10:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/21 "2001-08-12T03:08:26Z")
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a form of government! Supreme executive power comes from a mandate from the masses! Not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. (400th post!) ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/22 "2001-08-12T04:19:56Z")
Say the punchline. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/23 "2001-08-12T05:05:33Z")
But, I don’t want to go in the cart… ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/24 "2001-08-12T05:17:52Z")
Oh, I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay… ---
**Author:** ![Skijumper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3e96dc/32.png) [@Skijumper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skijumper)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/25 "2001-08-12T05:31:28Z")
How did you know my name was Eric? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/26 "2001-08-12T05:37:13Z")
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise… Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency… Our _three_ weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope… Our _four_…no… _Amongst_ our weapons… Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise… I’ll come in again. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/27 "2001-08-12T07:09:29Z")
BONG! Start again! ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/28 "2001-08-12T13:08:20Z")
There are some who call me (pause) Tim ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/29 "2001-08-12T15:17:18Z")
b. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/30 "2001-08-12T15:27:19Z")
Its a good job I didn’t tell him about the dirty knife as well. Nudge nudge , wink wink Hello Mrs Molestrangler ---
**Author:** ![DynoSaur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DynoSaur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DynoSaur)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/31 "2001-08-12T16:18:50Z")
And now for… …the fish-slapping dance. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/32 "2001-08-12T16:21:13Z")
Gooooooooood Night(a ring a dingy dingy dingy) Gooooooooood Night(a ring a dingy dingy dingy) ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/33 "2001-08-12T16:33:21Z")
[hijack] Ranger? Jeff…is that you? [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Drogulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Drogulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drogulus)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/34 "2001-08-12T17:06:49Z")
Lemon curry? ---
**Author:** ![Drogulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Drogulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drogulus)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/35 "2001-08-12T17:30:01Z")
I’d like to post to this thread in two ways, if I may. First in a normal font, and then in **a sort of silly, uncalled-for boldface.** ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/36 "2001-08-12T17:34:32Z")
I’d like to post to this thread in two ways, if I may. First in a normal font, and then in **a sort of silly, uncalled-for boldface.** ---
**Author:** ![ninja\_rydr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8491ac/32.png) [@ninja\_rydr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninja_rydr)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/37 "2001-08-12T18:22:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Drogulus \* > \*\* > Lemon curry? \*\* Can I get mine with SPAM, SPAM, SPAM and SPAM. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/38 "2001-08-12T19:01:13Z")
Did you write that post… in the shed? ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/39 "2001-08-12T19:05:50Z")
Enough of this gay banter! ---
**Author:** ![Phouchg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/41988e/32.png) [@Phouchg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phouchg)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/40 "2001-08-12T19:10:12Z")
This is just the sort of blinkered philistine ignorance I’ve come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker’s cuss for the struggling artist! You excrement! You whining hypocritical toadies with your colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic secret handshakes! You wouldn’t let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards?!! Well I wouldn’t become a Freemason if you went down on your stinking knees and begged me!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740.md?page=3)