# Ripped from the Monty Python sketch book **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740 "2001-08-10T08:10:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![flickerwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/13edae/32.png) [@flickerwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickerwolf)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/41 "2001-08-12T19:15:12Z")
“And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast; upon the lambs, and the sloaths, and the orangutans, and the fruit bats, and the sardines, and the breakfast cereals…” ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/42 "2001-08-12T20:04:24Z")
BURMA! ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/43 "2001-08-12T20:16:14Z")
Why did you say Burma? ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/44 "2001-08-12T20:17:41Z")
I like traffic lights, I like traffic lights, I like traffic lights, No matter where they’ve been. I like traffic lights, I like traffic lights, I like traffic lights, I like traffic lights, I like traffic lights, But only when they’re green. and so on… ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/45 "2001-08-12T20:23:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TJ\_who\_loves\_mathematics \* > \*\*Why did you say Burma? \*\* I panicked. Oh, a _leg?_ You’re looking for a _leg?_ Actually I think there is one in there… somewhere… ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/46 "2001-08-12T21:21:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*[hijack] > > Ranger? Jeff…is that you? > > [/hijack] \*\* [hijack] yes [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/47 "2001-08-13T02:14:36Z")
“You are all individuals!” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/48 "2001-08-13T02:36:19Z")
Where shall we fuck off to? ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/49 "2001-08-13T03:25:31Z")
Wait for it! ---
**Author:** ![Caesar0211](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caesar0211](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caesar0211)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/50 "2001-08-13T04:10:24Z")
Now today how to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana! Anyone know Red\_Dragon60 and I were in our schools Monty Python skits eh? We were TICKED off cause we couldnt do Nudge Nudge…go fig… ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/51 "2001-08-13T06:25:57Z")
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/52 "2001-08-13T06:34:29Z")
I would tax the nude in my bed. No, not tax…oh, what’s the word…WELCOME! ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/53 "2001-08-13T12:10:20Z")
Splunge! ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/54 "2001-08-13T13:21:18Z")
Why is it that nobody remembers the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle- dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz- ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer- spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein- nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut- gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm? ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/55 "2001-08-13T13:36:29Z")
No, no. This is a tobacconist’s. To-bac-con-ist’s… ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/56 "2001-08-13T13:39:57Z")
Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis. And it went wherever I did go. ---
**Author:** ![Ich\_Bin\_s](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Ich\_Bin\_s](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ich_Bin_s)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/57 "2001-08-13T13:58:25Z")
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, dum dum dum dum dum What’s on the tele? Looks like a penguin There is an ending that sort of ties in the whole Michael Ellis thing… ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/58 "2001-08-13T14:14:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ich Bin’s \* > **What’s on the tele? > Looks like a penguin** \*\*Announcer:\*\*And now it’s time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode… [sfx]KAAAAABOOOOOOOOM[/sfx] \*\*Mrs Niggerbaiter:\*\*How did he know that was going to happen? \*\*Announcer:\*\*It was an inspired guess! ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/59 "2001-08-13T14:55:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ich Bin’s \* > **Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, dum dum dum dum dum** He takes from the poor and gives to the rich Stupid bitch ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/60 "2001-08-13T15:03:24Z")
**NOBODY** expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn! I can’t say it - you’ll have to say it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740.md?page=4)