# Ripped from the Monty Python sketch book **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740 "2001-08-10T08:10:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ich\_Bin\_s](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Ich\_Bin\_s](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ich_Bin_s)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/61 "2001-08-13T15:45:46Z")
Right, stop that! It’s silly! Very silly indeed. It started as a nice sketch about old ladies, but now it’s just gotten silly. His hair’s too long for a vicar, too. And you can tell those aren’t proper keep left signs. Clear out, the lot of you! ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/62 "2001-08-13T20:51:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamlet \* > \*\*Dinsdale… \*\* **Ahem!** ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/63 "2001-08-13T22:56:47Z")
Tell me, sir, have you confused your cat recently? ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/64 "2001-08-14T08:29:32Z")
My thread,my beautiful thread… You have ruined it with your stupid, incomprehensible blather, you malodorous tarts and twits! That’s what I was looking for. Thanks PS: What was jdavis doing in here pissing away his time? No wonder this joint never runs right. PPS: I never depict sarcasm, but I thought this one teeny-tiny time I might make an itsy-bitsy exception. Jerry is a genius and a hell of a good guy to boot(not that it ever crossed my mind to boot him) so I’m sure I’m safe. Still…just kidding Jer,ya big good-humored lug,ya! ---
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/65 "2001-08-14T10:08:02Z")
my hovercraft is full of eels. Do you waaant to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy? ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/66 "2001-08-14T16:46:56Z")
[sub]It’s only a model. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/67 "2001-08-14T17:53:51Z")
No, well we don’t have ‘Rarnaby Budge’ by Charles Dikkens with two Ks, the well-known Dutch author, and perhaps to save time I should add that we don’t have ‘Karnaby Fudge’ by Darles Chickens, or ‘Farmer of Sludge’ by Marles Pickens, or even ‘Stickwick Stapers’ by Farles Wickens with four M’s and a silent Q!!! Why don’t you try W. H. Smith’s? I did. They sent me here. -OR- How about a Dog-Turd and Tonic? ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/68 "2001-08-14T18:17:43Z")
> [@](#): > > **TIM** Well, that’s no ordinary rabbit! [sub]Thank you, I like to think so[/sub] … > [@](#): > > **ROBIN** What’s he do, nibble your bum? [sub]If you’re lucky[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/69 "2001-08-14T18:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **TIM** Well, that’s no ordinary rabbit! > > [sub]Thank you, I like to think so[/sub] > … > > > [@](#): > > > > **ROBIN** What’s he do, nibble your bum? > > [sub]If you’re lucky[/sub] \*\* I’ll just go and change my armor. Oh please, just a little bit of peril? ---
**Author:** ![Thrasybulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Thrasybulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thrasybulus)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/70 "2001-08-14T18:59:29Z")
\ 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/71 "2001-08-14T21:05:49Z")
I don’t care how f\*cking runny it is, hand it over with due speed. ohhhh, the cat’s eaten it. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/72 "2001-08-14T22:30:16Z")
> [@](#): > > “You are all individuals!” _:: voice in the back, piping up ::_ I’m not! “Who is it, darling?” “It’s a Mr. Death, he’s come about the reaping.” ---
**Author:** ![Tretiak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Tretiak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tretiak)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/73 "2001-08-14T22:51:09Z")
Spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam, lovely spam. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/74 "2001-08-14T23:54:53Z")
I want to be… a LUMBERJACK! ---
**Author:** ![kylen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@kylen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kylen)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/75 "2001-08-15T00:26:08Z")
The people responsible for the credits have been sacked. ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/76 "2001-08-15T02:21:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bughunter \* > \*\*Tell me, sir, have you confused your cat recently? \*\* Squad! Confuse…Cat! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/77 "2001-08-15T03:28:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ich Bin’s \* > **Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, dum dum dum dum dum** Your Lupins or your Life. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/78 "2001-08-15T08:23:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Thrasybulus \* > \*\*\ 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 \*\* **King Arthur** : One… Two … Four **Lancelot** : “Three”, sire. **Arthur** : Oh, … Three _**[HOLY HANDGRENADE]**_\* ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/79 "2001-08-15T11:21:39Z")
This program was adapted for television by putting it under a piece of wood and hitting it with a hammer. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740/80 "2001-08-15T13:40:12Z")
But I don’t _like_ SPAM. Don’t just go in rushing for the clitoris! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ripped-from-the-monty-python-sketch-book/75740.md?page=5)