# RO: Somebody sends letter to neighbours telling them to kill their son **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2013, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699 "2013-08-20T07:28:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/21 "2013-08-20T15:47:05Z")
One of the people who got this letter posts on another board, which is actually where I found out about it. :eek: Her brother is high functioning enough to go to regular school, but he does like to ride his bike around the neighborhood and yell “EEEEEE!!!” while doing it. I think it’s his method of stimming. That’s right, “one of the people”. It’s gone out to multiple families in the neighborhood. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/22 "2013-08-20T15:47:30Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Well, it does spell “wailing” as “whaling.” The letter came from GREENPEACE! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/23 "2013-08-20T15:57:56Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > One of the people who got this letter posts on another board, which is actually where I found out about it. :eek: Her brother is high functioning enough to go to regular school, but he does like to ride his bike around the neighborhood and yell “EEEEEE!!!” while doing it. I think it’s his method of stimming. > > That’s right, “one of the people”. It’s gone out to multiple families in the neighborhood. :mad: So this is the child in question? https://www.youtube.com/embed/saIXzCoGHbU?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque Yeah that would be annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/24 "2013-08-20T16:04:05Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > There is a problem of some parents of children with mental/emotional problems being inconsiderate of their childrens’ misconduct towards other people. I’m not saying that this justifies or excuses the letter (although I imagine some people will read this post as a defense of the letter). I agree with you. I have a neighbor who has a kid with whatever his problems are (I don’t know, nor do I care, but he’s obviously got some issues) who absolutely has no concept of boundaries whatsoever. And that’s probably totally expected and normal for his particular issues and that’s fine, but his parents should be monitoring and correcting his behavior. They don’t. So he accosts the people in my building and actually frightens some of them (they’re old and he’s a teenager so, even if he’s harmless, they don’t really see it that way) and he’s gotten in my face to ask inappropriate questions and he’s chased my toddler and tried to hug him, or whatever. He’s probably harmless. That doesn’t mean that his behavior is acceptable or that the rest of society should just have to deal with it because his parents can’t or won’t for whatever reason. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/25 "2013-08-20T16:32:36Z")
My first impression was that it was a fake. I also think that the father killed those two boys in Canada instead of the snake. Oh and that there’s more than meets the eye with this kidnapped girl in California. Man, when did I get so cynical? Of course, we Dopers were dead right when we called out the hate letter that was purportedly mailed to a Middle Eastern family, right before the wife was murdered. Turned out it was the husband trying to divert attention away from himself. Can’t find the thread, though. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/26 "2013-08-20T16:50:51Z")
Well, that’s what you get for living in a Close Proximity Neighborhood. Someone who can’t spell “vamoose”. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/27 "2013-08-20T16:52:05Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > My first thought as well. What kind of noise could this kid possibly be making that would incite such rage? There is a person in my neighbourhood who is not mentally normal, and occasionally he makes a noise that makes the hair on my neck stand up - it sounds like he’s being killed. If he made that noise outside non-stop, I wouldn’t write a letter like that, but I sure as hell would move - that would be impossible to live beside. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/28 "2013-08-20T17:06:36Z")
Have we established that hers was the only house that received this? Perhaps it was a flyer. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/29 "2013-08-20T18:10:54Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > One of the people who got this letter posts on another board, which is actually where I found out about it. :eek: Her brother is high functioning enough to go to regular school, but he does like to ride his bike around the neighborhood and yell “EEEEEE!!!” while doing it. I think it’s his method of stimming. > > That’s right, “one of the people”. It’s gone out to multiple families in the neighborhood. :mad: > [@Shodan](#): > > Have we established that hers was the only house that received this? Perhaps it was a flyer. > > Regards, > Shodan Going by what **nearwildheaven** says, it sounds like it was a flyer. But I don’t know anything about that other board that he/she read it on, so it may or may not be trustworthy. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/30 "2013-08-20T18:56:22Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Eh, the letter’s too over-the-top to be serious. I suspect some local teenagers were bored and thought this would be a clever prank. No. If it had been teenagers it would have included “ur a fag!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/31 "2013-08-20T19:46:26Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Going by what **nearwildheaven** says, it sounds like it was a flyer. But I don’t know anything about that other board that he/she read it on, so it may or may not be trustworthy. I missed what **nearwildheaven** said. Are there a lot of autistic kids in the neighborhood? Or maybe a neighbor who complains about everything? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/32 "2013-08-20T21:40:50Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > I agree with you. I have a neighbor who has a kid with whatever his problems are (I don’t know, nor do I care, but he’s obviously got some issues) who absolutely has no concept of boundaries whatsoever. And that’s probably totally expected and normal for his particular issues and that’s fine, but his parents should be monitoring and correcting his behavior. They don’t. So he accosts the people in my building and actually frightens some of them (they’re old and he’s a teenager so, even if he’s harmless, they don’t really see it that way) and he’s gotten in my face to ask inappropriate questions and he’s chased my toddler and tried to hug him, or whatever. > > He’s probably harmless. That doesn’t mean that his behavior is acceptable or that the rest of society should just have to deal with it because his parents can’t or won’t for whatever reason. Yes, I have encountered situations like this, although not as uncomfortable as yours. Part of the problem, I suspect, is that parents have a tendency to fool themselves into thinking their child’s problems are more mild than they really are. Another issue is that it is surely exhausting, both physically and mentally, to monitor and police a child with serious mental/emotional problems. And the last thing is simple lack of consideration for other people. That’s one of the things that strikes me about this situation – even by the mother’s own admission, it seems that she’s pretty inconsiderate. Her son loves throwing balls in the backyard, and he throws them over the fence so often that she has her name and address on the ball. So she not only expects her neighbors to put up with balls constantly falling into their yards, she also expects them to invest time and energy returning those balls. And that’s just by her own account. Probably if you asked the neighbors, they would paint a much worse picture. Again, I’m not saying that the letter was justified – clearly it was an overreaction. But I doubt the mother is 100% innocent. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/33 "2013-08-20T21:54:37Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > Again, I’m not saying that the letter was justified – clearly it was an overreaction. But I doubt the mother is 100% innocent. If by ‘‘overreaction’’ you mean vile, contemptible and hateful, then I agree. Seriously, what the fuck does this mother’s conduct have to do with this story? There is absolutely nothing that could even remotely come close to excusing this letter. It is steeped in ignorance and prejudice and is wrong. She could be the biggest inconsiderate bitch on the planet and it would still be wrong. And thinking of it as a ‘‘prank’’ doesn’t really make me feel any better about society. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/34 "2013-08-20T22:00:47Z")
See, this is what happens when you don’t have guns. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/35 "2013-08-20T22:05:37Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > No. If it had been teenagers it would have included “ur a fag!!!” “Your kid talks like a fag, and his shit’s all retarded.” > [@Morgenstern](#): > > See, this is what happens when you don’t have guns. 😉 Okay, that made me crack a smile. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/36 "2013-08-20T22:05:48Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > See, this is what happens when you don’t have guns. 😉 Exactly. If the neighbor had just shot the kid then there would be no need for a letter. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/37 "2013-08-20T22:19:49Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I missed what **nearwildheaven** said. Are there a lot of autistic kids in the neighborhood? Or maybe a neighbor who complains about everything? > > Regards, > Shodan There were other people with disabled children (not necessarily autism) who got this too. Some of them had never met until this story broke. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/38 "2013-08-20T22:20:19Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > Yes, I have encountered situations like this, although not as uncomfortable as yours. > > Part of the problem, I suspect, is that parents have a tendency to fool themselves into thinking their child’s problems are more mild than they really are. > > Another issue is that it is surely exhausting, both physically and mentally, to monitor and police a child with serious mental/emotional problems. > > And the last thing is simple lack of consideration for other people. > > That’s one of the things that strikes me about this situation – even by the mother’s own admission, it seems that she’s pretty inconsiderate. Her son loves throwing balls in the backyard, and he throws them over the fence so often that she has her name and address on the ball. So she not only expects her neighbors to put up with balls constantly falling into their yards, she also expects them to invest time and energy returning those balls. > > And that’s just by her own account. Probably if you asked the neighbors, they would paint a much worse picture. > > Again, I’m not saying that the letter was justified – clearly it was an overreaction. But I doubt the mother is 100% innocent. Did you see the part where the mother herself is confined to a wheelchair? There’s limits to how much she can do to control a thirteen year old. As for the reaction, I have a cousin. She’s not a very good parent (the father is out of the picture). She basically lets her two boys run around wild and just ignores it when they do something wrong. Being as we only see her once or twice a year at family gatherings, we mostly act polite and ignore the situation. Now I can imagine myself snapping one day if her kids did something particularly stupid and yelling at her that her kids are running around like a couple of wild animals and she needs to start acting like their mother. (I came real close the day she sat there and watched her kids run out in the road.) But to write a letter telling her she should have her children euthanized and then actually sending her the letter? No, I can’t imagine myself ever even thinking about doing that. The possibility of doing something that bad would never even have occurred to me before I read that news story. That’s not overreaction; that’s literal insanity. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/39 "2013-08-21T07:46:59Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > If by ‘‘overreaction’’ you mean vile, contemptible and hateful, then I agree. By overreact, I mean “to react or respond more strongly than is necessary or appropriate.” > [@](#): > > Seriously, what the fuck does this mother’s conduct have to do with this story? If somebody misbehaves under provocation of having been mistreated, they are not as worthy of condemnation of someone who engages in the same misbehavior with no provocation at all. Similarly, if somebody provokes misbehavior against them through inconsiderate behavior, they do not deserve as much sympathy as if they had not been inconsiderate. I take it you disagree with these principles? > [@](#): > > There is absolutely nothing that could even remotely come close to excusing this letter. It is steeped in ignorance and prejudice and is wrong. She could be the biggest inconsiderate bitch on the planet and it would still be wrong. Lol, who is saying that the letter is right or excusable? ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/40 "2013-08-21T07:57:17Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Did you see the part where the mother herself is confined to a wheelchair? There’s limits to how much she can do to control a thirteen year old. Even someone in a wheelchair can have an area enclosed with some netting set up so that the child can throw his ball without throwing it into neighbors’ yards. Even someone in a wheelchair can arrange to have the child put in some activities where he will be less of a disturbance to neighbors. > [@](#): > > But to write a letter telling her she should have her children euthanized and then actually sending her the letter? No, I can’t imagine myself ever even thinking about doing that. The possibility of doing something that bad would never even have occurred to me before I read that news story. That’s not overreaction; that’s literal insanity. “Overreaction” = reacting or responding more strongly than is necessary or appropriate. So I am not sure how you can deny that the letter is an overreaction. Anyway, do you agree with the principles I set down in my previous post? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699.md?page=3)