# RO: Somebody sends letter to neighbours telling them to kill their son **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2013, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699 "2013-08-20T07:28:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/101 "2013-08-23T22:13:13Z")
Maeglin, I don’t know how old your child is, but my son who has autism is almost a grown man. I have developed a thick skin over the years. What is important to me is my son’s happiness and well being. I do my best not to have him be a nuisance to others with the noises he makes, but it is what it is and to be honest, I really do not care if others do not like his noises when he is outside. We are not out at unreasonable hours and I am always with him even though he is older. Even still, people like many who have posted in this thread would still find something to bitch and complain about. I am so glad that I don’t have asshole neighbors. I’m super chuffed that some of you aren’t my neighbors because I don’t like uptight people whose panties are constantly in a wad over everything. It’s unfortunate that many of you do not have a special needs child, because if you did then you would know what’s really important in life. (hint: a ball free yard is not it) I feel sorry for you. ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/102 "2013-08-23T23:26:38Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > This is retarded thinking. Hi retarded, thanks for checking in and letting us know what you’re up to. Would you please share the conclusion that your thinking has led you to? ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/103 "2013-08-23T23:49:27Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > Would you mind sharing what that issue is? If not, imagine if a stranger started attacking you on that one specific issue and cruelly reminding you of the worst aspects of that problem. > > That’s great for you – but most people are not like that. Most people have a few issues on which they are rather sensitive. Often involving an unpleasant aspect of reality which is difficult to face. I’m definitely one of those kinds of people. I really don’t care what people say about me and I had to have that pointed out to me for me to realize that. That said, I can certainly see how a reasonable person would be annoyed about issues that inconvenience them. I think though, for me, if I ran up against that situation again I’d pretty much do what I did then and own the responsibility of my own state of mind and not pass that on to the people around me. That’s how I coped with it when it happened then I don’t think I’d be any different now. Realizing that and knowing how much of a pain in the rear that could be in a situation like this I must say I’m really, really grateful that I am the way I am because it would suck to let someone else have that power over my state of mind and feel powerless to change the situation and feel the need to write such a hateful letter. Also, lots of folks I’d imagine would skip right past the letter stage and take matters into their own hand which would be much, much worse. Yep, I’m glad I’m not a reasonable person when looked at that way. Makes life much easier and more stress free. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/104 "2013-08-23T23:50:30Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Fair enough. I, too, have a son, who, while not autistic, has disabilities severe enough that I worry about his future without me. My kids are both middle of the road or above, and I worry about them every day. Without reason. Best wishes to you guys. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/105 "2013-08-24T00:09:14Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > The letter came from GREENPEACE! :eek: Seems the Pissed Off Mother need a Russian harpoon - problem solved! ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/106 "2013-08-24T00:09:59Z")
> [@Girlundone](#): > > I am so glad that I don’t have asshole neighbors. Why is that? If you have such thick skin, what difference would it make to you if your neighbors were uptight? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/107 "2013-08-24T00:17:21Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > Why is that? If you have such thick skin, what difference would it make to you if your neighbors were uptight? Because of their capacity to make trouble. I don’t care so much what they are thinking, but I live in a co-op in New York City. We all live on top of each other, so it is very easy to make trouble for your neighbors if you are so inclined. In my case I am fortunate that my neighbors are largely good people. But the young family two doors down is having a terrible time with their downstairs neighbor. She is an elderly woman and simply does not like hearing their child in her apartment, so she harasses them all the time. They are renters and are too afraid to rock the boat to do anything about it lest the building kicks them out. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/108 "2013-08-24T00:25:47Z")
> [@Girlundone](#): > > Maeglin, > I don’t know how old your child is, but my son who has autism is almost a grown man. I have developed a thick skin over the years. What is important to me is my son’s happiness and well being. I do my best not to have him be a nuisance to others with the noises he makes, but it is what it is and to be honest, I really do not care if others do not like his noises when he is outside. We are not out at unreasonable hours and I am always with him even though he is older. Even still, people like many who have posted in this thread would still find something to bitch and complain about. > > I am so glad that I don’t have asshole neighbors. I’m super chuffed that some of you aren’t my neighbors because I don’t like uptight people whose panties are constantly in a wad over everything. > > It’s unfortunate that many of you do not have a special needs child, because if you did then you would know what’s really important in life. (hint: a ball free yard is not it) I feel sorry for you. My son is only 3, so my wife and I have a long way to go. We’ve known that he was on the spectrum since he was about 18 months. We are both dyed-in-the-wool New Yorkers; the thick skin is not a problem. But when you live in close proximity to so many other people, you tend to see a lot more jackholes. So it’s a constant drumbeat of bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/109 "2013-08-24T00:55:12Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > Because of their capacity to make trouble. What exactly do they do to make trouble? ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/110 "2013-08-24T00:59:26Z")
[QUOTE=brazil84] Why is that? If you have such thick skin, what difference would it make to you if your neighbors were uptight? [/QUOTE] . I’m glad I don’t have uptight neighbors because I enjoy the positive atmosphere where I live. Fortunately my son’s severe delays leave him quite innocent to the reality of people like you. He does not understand enough to know that some people dislike others simply for being different. I’m glad for him that our neighbors embrace him. People who meet him tell me there is something about him that makes them happy, something that makes them think a little differently about life. They are more than happy to throw the ball back over the fence. Once my son trimmed some trees that border my house and the neighbor’s house. She came to tell me about it so I could make sure he understood not to do it. At no point was she angry, nor did she accuse me of not having control of my son, or of not watching him. Neither did she tell me that I go around expecting everyone to accommodate my son and his special needs. None of that bullshit nonsense, just “Hey, heads up, he trimmed my tree”. I took care of it. He did not do it again. No different than any other neighborhood issue being solved. The tree grew back, everyone lived, the world didn’t end. My son is not everyone’s cup o’ tea though, and that’s cool. Generally I find that when people have not had much experience being around people with differences, his noises make them uncomfortable. His mannerism and echolalic speech make them nervous. That’s just ignorance about disabilities and/or a lack of exposure to people who are different. Some people just don’t think the severely disabled are worth getting to know. That’s ok, their choice. But they are missing out IMO. Brazil84, your outlook on differences is interesting to me. You sound to me like you think your shit doesn’t stink. Hey, thanks for keeping your balls out of my yard, but I find you annoying as fuck anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/111 "2013-08-24T01:08:08Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > What exactly do they do to make trouble? How about you bugger off and use your imagination. Imagine what you would do under similar circumstances, and then suppose that they are more creative than you are. Voila, you will have your answer. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/112 "2013-08-24T01:19:26Z")
> [@](#): > > My son is only 3, so my wife and I have a long way to go. We’ve known that he was on the spectrum since he was about 18 months. We are both dyed-in-the-wool New Yorkers; the thick skin is not a problem. But when you live in close proximity to so many other people, you tend to see a lot more jackholes. So it’s a constant drumbeat of bullshit. Greater population means proportionately more assholes I guess. The bullshit does get old. Years and years of it has just rendered it white noise for me. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/113 "2013-08-24T01:32:30Z")
> [@Girlundone](#): > > . I’m glad I don’t have uptight neighbors because I enjoy the positive atmosphere where I live. But why would a negative atmosphere bother you? You do have thick skin, right? > [@](#): > > Fortunately my son’s severe delays leave him quite innocent to the reality of people like you. He does not understand enough to know that some people dislike others simply for being different. Please quote me where I stated or implied that I disliked anyone "simply for being different. " Failing that, please admit that I neither stated nor implied any such thing and apologize. Your choice. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/114 "2013-08-24T01:33:07Z")
When I was a kid, a favorite activity involved taking any and all balls we found on the street over to a friend’s house. Friend had a jerk neighbor. We would rub the balls in dog shit, spit on them, whatever, then toss them into the neighbor’s yard. Neighbor habitually knifed the balls and tossed them back over the fence (which is what led us to toss more). But he did this after work, (and he handled the shitty balls to puncture and toss them). So my friend’s dad would be working in the yard and a deflated ball would land at his feet. My friend denied all knowledge of the balls, and his dad knew _he_ hadn’t purchased the ball, so there would be words. Good times. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/115 "2013-08-24T01:34:37Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > What exactly do they do to make trouble? Are you really that thick or do you just play at it on a message board? To everyone who has special needs children, I feel your pain. People like those in the OP that are being pitted (and some in this thread) are the ones that make life miserable for everyone else. What bunch of fucking assholes. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/116 "2013-08-24T01:36:14Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > How about you bugger off and use your imagination. I cannot imagine what could possibly bother **girlundone** given her self-proclaimed thick skin and her apparent willingness to simply move away from any situation which is a problem for her. I guess my imagination is not good enough to think of how she can weasel out of the nonsense she has been spewing. And it seems yours is not either. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/117 "2013-08-24T01:40:08Z")
> [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > Are you really that thick or do you just play at it on a message board? Lol, why not just answer the question? I am really curious to know what kind of “trouble” would bother **girlundone** given her self-proclaimed “thick skin” and her apparent willingness to move away from anyone who makes trouble for her. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/118 "2013-08-24T01:47:19Z")
[QUOTE=brazil84] But why would a negative atmosphere bother you? You do have thick skin, right? [/QUOTE] I said I enjoy a positive atmosphere, no where did I say a negative atmosphere would “bother me”. [QUOTE=brazil84] Failing that, please admit that I neither stated nor implied any such thing and apologize. Your choice. [/QUOTE] Omg, I’m dying. That is fucking hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Zago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zago)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/119 "2013-08-24T01:50:40Z")
Putting up netting would be proactive. Unfortunately, a lot of the mischief that disabled kids get into can’t be foreseen. Who’d anticipate that their 13 year old boy would find his dad’s car keys on the counter, slip out and back the car into the neighbor’s garage door? Of course now they hide their keys. Or that, he’d get into a neighbor’s house while they were on vacation and start making 911 calls (he knew where his parents kept the keys because the neighbor’s thought it would be good for him to pet-sit with his mom or dad in tow). I guess my point is, once shit happens, parents should try to curb the behavior. But I cut them some slack because raising a mentally disabled child can bring new challenges everyday (some of them are very intelligent and act out in ways we can’t anticipate). ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699/120 "2013-08-24T01:50:48Z")
[QUOTE=brazil84] I am really curious to know what kind of “trouble” would bother girlundone given her self-proclaimed “thick skin” and her apparent willingness to move away from anyone who makes trouble for her. [/QUOTE] I’m sorry that all this reading had proven too much for you. I know it’s confusing what with more than one poster and all. Just go back and read slowly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-somebody-sends-letter-to-neighbours-telling-them-to-kill-their-son/666699.md?page=7)