# RO: When your child is "too nice to people..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 6, 2015, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997 "2015-02-06T19:58:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/21 "2015-02-07T01:54:12Z")
The worst part is that by arresting the poor kid’s entire idiot family he is now traumatized even more, no doubt blaming himself for telling adults at his school and terrified in foster care. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/22 "2015-02-07T02:51:58Z")
…no one will ever be punished sufficiently for this either. [spoiler]"Mr. Firoved? Meet Mr Pairing-knife. The Good News? It is that in some brothel, somewhere else in the world, your beard will be used as a merkin. The Bad News? Well… Remember how you always used to always love all those comics about Martian Manhunter? Good. Focus on that… [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/23 "2015-02-07T03:04:31Z")
How did the police find out about this? Facebook? ---
**Author:** ![desertmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@desertmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/desertmonk)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/24 "2015-02-07T03:46:06Z")
> [@Lorene89095](#): > > How did the police find out about this? Facebook? He told his teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/25 "2015-02-07T04:07:28Z")
Poor kid. At least he had one adult he could trust. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/26 "2015-02-07T07:03:33Z")
Wait, this happened again? I swear I read a thread here a few months ago about a similar incident. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/27 "2015-02-07T13:55:19Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > There’s a right way and a wrong way to teach your child about Stranger Danger. Not to mention that (as this case obliquely shows) strangers aren’t usually the greatest threat to children. “Stranger danger” misses 90% of the equation. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/28 "2015-02-07T14:11:34Z")
That article was so badly written. I hope no English majors were involved. ---
**Author:** ![RetroVertigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@RetroVertigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RetroVertigo)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/29 "2015-02-07T14:19:33Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > That article was so badly written. I hope no English majors were involved. The linked page in the OP is just a sherriff’s department crime blotter. Here is a [link](http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/family-arrested-in-fake-kidnapping-plot-to-teach--year/article_83691380-bf3c-58de-8792-ebbb210ee0ea.html) to the actual story. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/30 "2015-02-07T16:00:19Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > The worst part is that by arresting the poor kid’s entire idiot family he is now traumatized even more, no doubt blaming himself for telling adults at his school and terrified in foster care. That’s the worst part? Not the torture bit? Should they have left him with them then? He might be far better off in foster care - it’s not always (or even usually) horrible. Three meals a day, a clean room, rules to live by, no-one’s allowed to hit you or pull your trousers down and threaten you with a gun. On the whole it sounds better than his home environment. And the kid’s learnt that if you tell someone you trust they will help you. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/31 "2015-02-07T16:37:11Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > That’s the worst part? Not the torture bit? Should they have left him with them then? > > He might be far better off in foster care - it’s not always (or even usually) horrible. Three meals a day, a clean room, rules to live by, no-one’s allowed to hit you or pull your trousers down and threaten you with a gun. On the whole it sounds better than his home environment. And the kid’s learnt that if you tell someone you trust they will help you. No, the worst part is that there is no course of action that does not bring further suffering and risk to the victim. I’m not saying foster care is horrible but that taking a little kid from the only family he knows is extremely likely to be difficult, frightening, and painful for him. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/32 "2015-02-07T17:51:24Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > No, the worst part is that there is no course of action that does not bring further suffering and risk to the victim. > I’m not saying foster care is horrible but that taking a little kid from the only family he knows is extremely likely to be difficult, frightening, and painful for him. As difficult, frightening, and painful as his family was? You have a very strange idea of what foster care is. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/33 "2015-02-07T18:28:58Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > As difficult, frightening, and painful as his family was? You have a very strange idea of what foster care is. Did I say the child should not have been put in foster care? No, I did not. I said that he is probably frightened and sad now, since his whole family is now in jail. Even though his family was composed of dumb-asses, they were the only caregivers he knew, so he is probably very upset by his current situation. If you think he is actually happy that his crappy family is behind bars while he lives with strangers, you’re nuts. That doesn’t mean they should not be behind bars (although I believe they should be charged with child abuse and endangerment rather than kidnapping), but that the poor kid is collateral damage to their punishment and there is no good way around this. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/34 "2015-02-07T21:13:11Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > …no one will ever be punished sufficiently for this either. > > [spoiler]"Mr. Firoved? Meet Mr Pairing-knife. > > The Good News? It is that in some brothel, somewhere else in the world, your beard will be used as a merkin. > > The Bad News? Well… Remember how you always used to always love all those comics about Martian Manhunter? Good. Focus on that… > > [/spoiler] Da’hell did I just read? ---
**Author:** ![RetroVertigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@RetroVertigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RetroVertigo)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/35 "2015-02-07T22:33:21Z")
You will also notice as a follow-up to the article I linked to that a family member living in the same house a couple of years ago was arrested and convicted of 2 counts of child rape. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/36 "2015-02-07T22:49:15Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > So, they’re charging the mom with kidnapping. She presumably has sole custody (there is no father mentioned), so is that actually a legit charge? Maybe it’s like the getaway driver getting the same charges as the guy who actually goes into the bank and shoots someone. Or the female accomplice of a rapist being charged with rape. ---
**Author:** ![Zorkmid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e68b1a/32.png) [@Zorkmid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zorkmid)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/37 "2015-02-08T00:15:10Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > So, they’re charging the mom with kidnapping. She presumably has sole custody (there is no father mentioned), so is that actually a legit charge? > > I mean, throw her ass in jail for 20 years for child endangerment, but can you kidnap your minor child? > > And, if she were in on the scheme (which is a little hard to tell from the write-up - seems like the idiot aunt was the ringleader), is kidnapping going to hold for the others? She basically gave them permission to pick up her child, right? Parents can definitely kidnap their own kids, usually its a noncustodial parent taking the child though. The writeup did say “During the entire event, the four remained in contact by cellphone as they terrorized the boy, police said.” so the mother knew what was happening. In a case like this I’m sure intent matters. it would be different if she gave these idiots permission to pick up Junior at school and they arranged this little adventure on their own, but she knew what was going on. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/38 "2015-02-08T05:52:22Z")
Yeah, I’m not seeing kidnapping in this story. Any or all of the other charges fer sure. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/39 "2015-02-08T08:45:45Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > …no one will ever be punished sufficiently for this either. > > [spoiler]"Mr. Firoved? Meet Mr Pairing-knife. > > The Good News? It is that in some brothel, somewhere else in the world, your beard will be used as a merkin. > > The Bad News? Well… Remember how you always used to always love all those comics about Martian Manhunter? Good. Focus on that… > > [/spoiler] Could you please explain this, I’m not getting it. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/40 "2015-02-08T08:50:10Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > It’s like the movie Fargo, with less people being put through woodchippers. Fewer. Until you’ve put them through the woodchipper, then people can be described in non-countable terms, like ‘less’, or ‘a bucket of’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997.md?page=3)