# RO: When your child is "too nice to people..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 6, 2015, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997 "2015-02-06T19:58:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/41 "2015-02-08T08:57:27Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Could you please explain this, I’m not getting it. Nor me. Unless two wrongs have started making a right. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/42 "2015-02-08T18:22:42Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Could you please explain this, I’m not getting it. It was a _whoosh_ going along with the 'wood-chipper motif. It didn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/43 "2015-02-09T07:46:04Z")
That explanation makes as little sense as the original. Congratulations. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/44 "2015-02-09T10:04:40Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > No, the worst part is that there is no course of action that does not bring further suffering and risk to the victim. > I’m not saying foster care is horrible but that taking a little kid from the only family he knows is extremely likely to be difficult, frightening, and painful for him. I agree that that’s bad, but it’s not the _worst_ part. That makes it sound like foster care is worse than torture (and what they did to this kid definitely was torture). ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/45 "2015-02-09T10:30:02Z")
Basically a parent asks a friend to pick up their child from school and bring them home. That’s not kidnapping. Even considering the badly thought out scare tactics . Everything was done at the request of the parent. A parent who wanted to provide a critical life lesson to their child. What they did to that kid was scary and wrong. I’m not sure what charges can be successfully prosecuted. Especially since the child’s mother and grandmother were involved. Reminds me of hazing rituals where people are blindfold and driven somewhere. Maybe left in the woods to find their own way home. Its not kidnapping. I can’t imagine people agreeing to do something like this to a kid. Way too cruel and unnecessary. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/46 "2015-02-09T11:12:18Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Basically a parent asks a friend to pick up their child from school and bring them home. That’s not kidnapping. Even considering the badly thought out scare tactics . Everything was done at the request of the parent. A parent who wanted to provide a critical life lesson to their child. > > What they did to that kid was scary and wrong. I’m not sure what charges can be successfully prosecuted. Especially since the child’s mother and grandmother were involved. Can’t it be argued it’s kidnapping because the kid believed he was being kidnapped? Sort of like how if, say, someone is grabbed by a couple of friends, blindfolded, etc. as a joke, it doesn’t stop being kidnapping because it’s a prank. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/47 "2015-02-09T13:57:57Z")
I’d rather see family counseling. Get Family Services to check the home periodically. I think that would be better for the child than throwing mom and grandmom into prison for a few years. Nothing that’s been reported indicates foster care is better for the child. The family made a mistake and if the home is otherwise a good environment then shouldn’t the child be left in their care? The family needs to be told in strong terms that what they did is unacceptable. Counseling and parenting classes could help a lot. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/48 "2015-02-09T15:17:54Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > …The family made a mistake and if the home is otherwise a good environment then shouldn’t the child be left in their care? > > The family needs to be told in strong terms that what they did is unacceptable. Counseling and parenting classes could help a lot. No family should need to be told that. They pointed a gun at the kid. They threatened him with sexual assault. They berated him for being the victim of an attack. Four adults banded together to torment a child. Do you really think that home could be “otherwise a good environment”? This is a bit more than “a mistake”; it’s damned twisted. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/49 "2015-02-09T15:38:14Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > I agree that that’s bad, but it’s not the _worst_ part. That makes it sound like foster care is worse than torture (and what they did to this kid definitely was torture). To clarify: the worst part is that the event’s repercussions to the child have no foreseeable end. Foster care is generally a mixed bag, but even if we assume that he is in a perfectly lovely arrangement, most six-year-olds will still be very homesick. This is the age when you shouldn’t be surprised if they cannot handle a slumber party and must be picked up early–that’s not because the party is torture. Here we have a child who is now surrounded by strangers, immediately after a violent lesson about the dangers of strangers. Ironically, he may see THIS situation as being kidnapped. Not only is he away from his family, but he may well be blaming himself for them being in jail. Had he kept his mouth shut, he could easily reason, he’d be safely at home with them. Of course he would not actually BE safe, because his family members are dangerous fools, but the kid was probably not unhappy in their care until this incident. He was “too friendly,” after all, which is not generally a descriptor of a habitually abused child. This situation was abuse and he must be protected from future abuse, but I don’t see how it’s even slightly controversial to assume he is probably a very sad and confused little boy at the moment and that his family problems are far from over. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/50 "2015-02-09T15:58:45Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Fewer. > > Until you’ve put them through the woodchipper, then people can be described in non-countable terms, like ‘less’, or ‘a bucket of’ Bless you. Bless this post. My Monday has been immeasurably improved. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997/51 "2015-02-09T17:50:21Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Reminds me of hazing rituals where people are blindfold and driven somewhere. Maybe left in the woods to find their own way home. Its not kidnapping. That is exactly what kidnapping is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ro-when-your-child-is-too-nice-to-people/711997.md?page=2)