# Roadside memorials for dead kids: cut it the fuck out! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 30, 2015, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716 "2015-12-30T08:42:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/21 "2015-12-30T15:07:44Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Likewise, the one I saw with a sign that exhorted passers-by to “Honk for Robert & Warren”. Because they are listening? Because honking gets them into heaven faster? Because it is equivalent to “liking” on Facebook? I don’t get it. Because it distracts other drivers so maybe Robert and Warren won’t be the only ones who died in that spot. It’s lonely haunting the side of a highway for all eternity. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/22 "2015-12-30T15:20:43Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > NOTE: I realized this is not true of all Roadside memorials but… > > There were two roadside memorials from recent years that stayed up for a long time in my town. At least one of them, I think both but I’m not certain, all of the people in the car died- driver and passengers. Both crashes definitely had multiple fatalities whether or not all the people died in both crashes. > > Both of these were single car accidents on surface streets (one, a residential street), driver crashed into a pole in both cases. Both cars were filled with young twenty-somethings. Both crashes happened very late at night, early a.m. hours. What the fuck kind of _single car_ accident results in the deaths of _everybody in the car_? Hitting a pole and fucking _everybody dies_? How fast do you have to be going on a residential street to make that happen > > Both of these were party cars, filled with drunk people, driving ridiculously over the speed limit endangering anyone who might have unfortunately come into contact with them. It’s a damn good thing they only killed themselves. The “Life is so precious, they were taken from us too soon” bullshit that adorned these memorials was completely tone deaf. > > And some would say, “Oh, but the passengers, you can’t blame them, maybe they tried to tell the driver pull over that he shouldn’t be driving!” Look, he didn’t get that wasted while he was driving. Anyone who can kill every single one of his passengers without so much as one other vehicle with which to collide, that guy was _obviously_ wasted when they all got into the car together and all the idiot drunk passengers thought it was all fun and games. > > I would also hear things like, “Yeah, it was stupid but it’s still sad, they had really young kids and now those kids have no parents!” All the more reason not to mourn these assholes. They had _kids_ and they were still joyriding drunk at 3:00am!? Only makes them out to be even more worthless and despicable in my book. This is what grandparents are for (with parents like these, these kids were probably mostly being raised by their grandparents anyway). > > But, no. We have to have wreaths and flowers and cards to observe this sad tragic loss of these wonderful people. > > Give me a break. Yeah. While I am still a bit torn on the OP’s position, I gotta give a fair thumbs up to this point of view. I have enough sense and compassion to NOT say it, particularly in the wrong time and place…but for stuff like that my first thought is usually “thank God they didn’t take out any innocent people”. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/23 "2015-12-30T15:45:50Z")
Well they are illegal in Victoria [Roadside memorials on freeways, power poles and close to homes will be banned along with photos of those killed in crashes](http://www.msn.com/en-au/sport/afl/roadside-memorials-to-be-banned-as-part-of-vicroads-policy/vp-BBkFgZi). ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/24 "2015-12-30T15:58:35Z")
I thought that’s what we have cemetaries and grave sites for? You know, go pay your respects, leave some flowers, shed some tears. I guess that’s just too boring for people these days. “You want to go to the cemetary?” “Nah, those places creep me out. Kind of morbid.” “How about going to the crash site then?” “Hell yeah, lets go!” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/25 "2015-12-30T16:05:32Z")
On the flip side. I’ve seen a few of the roadside crosses that AREN"T a public safety hazard…and I often think “does the wife/husband/son/daughter/whoever” have to drive past this point on a regular basis?" Given your local geography and job market you know some of the survivors must do so. Personally, I’d have to move. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/26 "2015-12-30T16:14:58Z")
When I was a kid in Ohio, some 60 years ago, some insurance company posted signs at the locations of fatal automobile accidents. No crosses, no names, no dates, just a diamond shaped red sign with a big white X and the name of the insurance company. The idea was supposedly to alert the motoring public to dangerous stretches of road but I suspect that it was really a matter of keeping the insurance company’s name in public view. It must have been done with the department of highways’ approval because the signs were inside the road right-of-way. I searched for those fatal accident signs with the same enthusiasm as I looked for Burma have signs. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/27 "2015-12-30T16:23:32Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Um, pretty young girls? If the problem is that the girls are pretty, then it’s your problem, not theirs. Eyes forward and watch the car in front of you. No kidding. The OP seems obsessed with staring at these memorials and these “pretty young girls” instead of focusing on driving. Seriously OP you’re going to be killing people with your driving behavior and causing more of the memorials and “pretty young girls”\* to pop up. \*Seriously keep your eyes on the road and stop glaring at these “pretty young girls” you dirty old pervert. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/28 "2015-12-30T16:33:57Z")
Our neighbor up the road had some teens crash and die on the corner of his lot, sadly. Their friends however did insist on keeping a large memorial refreshed, and so one day that neighbor put up a little garden plot with a backing fence in front of the memorial. I can’t say I blame him. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/29 "2015-12-30T16:37:52Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I thought that’s what we have cemetaries and grave sites for? You know, go pay your respects, leave some flowers, shed some tears. > I guess that’s just too boring for people these days. > “You want to go to the cemetary?” > “Nah, those places creep me out. Kind of morbid.” > “How about going to the crash site then?” > “Hell yeah, lets go!” That’s the part I don’t understand. Most of the time they are memorializing the site of a preventable tragedy. Might as well put the Darwin Award on their mantelpiece. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/30 "2015-12-30T16:56:55Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I pass a roadside shrine near what seems like the safest intersection in the world. The speed limit is 35 mph, roads are straight, lighting is excellent. How the hell did the person die _there_ of all places? Piano fell out of a building. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/31 "2015-12-30T17:04:15Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I pass a roadside shrine near what seems like the safest intersection in the world. The speed limit is 35 mph, roads are straight, lighting is excellent. How the hell did the person die _there_ of all places? Gahh. Had one of those in my home town. The road there is flat as hell and straight as hell for miles in all four directions. Also, NOT wooded. In all four directions the land hand been cleared. You might as well have had a 4 way intersection on the plains of Siberia. Yet on Christmas day one car full to the gills with people managed to plow into another car full up with people killing them all ☹ I’m recalling something like 7 in car and 4 in the other. Shit, there was actually a light there. And it was midday. I doubt BOTH cars on Christmas day mid day were being driven by drunk off their ass drivers. There after many locals referred to it as a “dangerous” intersection. Bullshit. It was the safest damn intersection that could actually be an intersection there was. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/32 "2015-12-30T17:04:52Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Piano fell out of a building. A friend here suggested space debris struck him/her.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/33 "2015-12-30T17:13:59Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > The memorial litter got so bad in Colorado that the state started a [program](https://www.codot.gov/programs/memorial-sign.html) to put up signs. Here in South Dakota, we have [THINK signs](http://www.sddot.com/services/memorials/Default.aspx) and most makeshift memorials will be removed. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/34 "2015-12-30T17:25:43Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I thought that’s what we have cemetaries and grave sites for? You know, go pay your respects, leave some flowers, shed some tears. > I guess that’s just too boring for people these days. > “You want to go to the cemetary?” > “Nah, those places creep me out. Kind of morbid.” > “How about going to the crash site then?” > “Hell yeah, lets go!” Frequently, roadside memorials for young people are set up by other young people, who may not be comfortable or familiar with cemeteries, or who see those sites as family-only. Usually a cemetery site is set up and administered solely by the family, and it’s easy to see why teenagers or young people who have never experienced death before would be uncomfortable with what they see as encroaching on a familial space. Hence roadside memorials pop up as a way for them to memorialize their friends in a way that isn’t stepping on the toes of the grieving parents, family, etc. It gives them some control and some way to grieve that isn’t under the sterile auspice of the cemetery. Some cities are now offering metal bands around lampposts, etc., with the deceased person’s name and dates on it, in an effort to keep roadside memorials from becoming years-old eyesores. ---
**Author:** ![DoggyDunnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@DoggyDunnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoggyDunnit)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/35 "2015-12-30T18:09:03Z")
I sometime see them here in Fort Worth. Most are, indeed, memorializing drunk/reckless driving douches and/or their equally douchey passengers. I promptly and proudly report them to the City for removal. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/36 "2015-12-30T19:06:58Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Today (for reasons I won’t go into now) I had to drive an 800km round trip from my home, for fucking nothing. > > Just 50km away from home on the return journey I encountered a traffic jam of the worst kind…three roads trying to converge on one freeway (bad enough at the best of times) but the traffic was banked up for 3km each way on each of those roads??? > > It was only finally getting past the ‘block’ that I realised it was the site of a fatal accident last night, two teenagers had smashed their car into a tree and some young girls were laying some flowers in memorium of their lost friends. > > Stop it. JUST DON’T DO IT! Not only does it annoy the fuck out of people trying to get home or wherever they’re going, the rubberneckers are just out there to get some sort of perverse satisfaction. I’m sorry the kids died, really I am, but DO NOT PUT FLOWERS UP THERE, especially with pretty young girls laying the wreaths. > > BAN THEM…for fuck’s sakes! The fact that people are so easily distracted, while driving, because of pretty young girls and a flower is indicative of the lack of control that leads to the memorial. I like the memorials. They are a reminder that driving, every drive, is a serious act. I also think about the story of the life that was cut short. Sorry you need a trigger warning on the highway to spare your feels. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/37 "2015-12-30T19:13:38Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I pass a roadside shrine near what seems like the safest intersection in the world. The speed limit is 35 mph, roads are straight, lighting is excellent. How the hell did the person die _there_ of all places? Well first of all speed limit signs don’t actually prevent a car from going faster. Secondly, young people make worse choices in the presence of other young people. And distracted driving is terribly widespread. Also can’t rule out the influence of mind altering drugs. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/38 "2015-12-30T19:14:18Z")
I wouldn’t mind the damned things if they didn’t stay up forever, which is what happens around here. We’ve lived in this house for 17 years, and the whole time we’ve been here, there’s been a cross with someone’s name on it on a well-traveled road about 5 minutes from our door. And there are plenty of other nearby roadside memorials of long standing; this one’s only exceptional in that I _know_ the damn thing’s been there that long, because we travel that road practically every day. Two years ago, a teenager got killed in an accident where the main street through our neighborhood comes out onto a 4-lane highway. His buddies put a cross with his name on it in the highway median so that it’s practically right in front of you every damn time you come out of the neighborhood. His family moved out of the neighborhood 8-9 months after the accident - they’d just moved in several months before the accident, so it wasn’t like they had deep roots here. But the cross is still there, over two years after the accident, and well over a year after the family picked up and moved on. If we get a nice deep snowfall sometime this winter, that cross is gonna disappear. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/39 "2015-12-30T19:19:50Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I pass a roadside shrine near what seems like the safest intersection in the world. The speed limit is 35 mph, roads are straight, lighting is excellent. How the hell did the person die _there_ of all places? Alien abduction. The anal probing brought on a massive, fatal hemorrhoid attack. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2015, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/40 "2015-12-30T19:29:48Z")
A family member was kiiled about 18 months ago when someone pulled out in front of him. He was riding his motorcycle home from work at about 11am on a clear sunny day. Not seeing a motorcyclist is far too common, and is another pit worthy topic. Anyway, a few days after the accident a white cross and a plastic sign with his name and 1960-2013 appeared at the accident location. I knew the family did not put it there, and I also knew the victim well enough to know he would not want it there. So, I stopped (safely down a side street) and removed it. A few days later, an exact duplicate is back! So, I went back, removed this one, but left a note inside a ziplock bag, taped to the nearby (as in two feet away) guard rail. I politely asked whoever was erecting the cross to not do so, per the family of the victim. Imagine my amazement when another one appeared a few weeks later, and the note was removed.:smack: I repeated the removal, and this time nothing reappeared. Whenever I drive by the spot, I remember. I don’t need a frigging roadside distraction to remind me. I really don’t get the logic behind them. Lets put up something that distracts drivers, to remind them to be careful. Seems a little self-defeating. But let’s be honest here. There really aren’t about telling others to be careful. They are basically the equivalents of a FaceBook post saying “look at the sadness that I feel, feel empathy for me, but at the minimum notice me” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716.md?page=3)