# Roadside memorials for dead kids: cut it the fuck out! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 30, 2015, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716 "2015-12-30T08:42:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2015, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/81 "2015-12-31T18:13:39Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Fuck you Drunky! [Moderating] Saying “Fuck you” to other posters is against board rules. Please avoid this in the future. No warning issued.[/Moderating] ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2015, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/82 "2015-12-31T21:52:42Z")
While waiting at a stoplight a couple years ago, I noticed a shabby vinyl banner on a fence, blowing in the breeze. The wind picked up one of the fallen corners and I could see that it was a memorial (of sorts) to the 271 killed aboard AA 191 in 1979. This is on the north west corner of [Touhy and Mount Prospect](https://www.google.com/maps/place/S+Mt+Prospect+Rd+%26+Touhy+Ct,+Des+Plaines,+IL+60018/@42.0084777,-87.9225511,3a,37.5y,328.06h,84.69t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sc5CnIHDrkblW5VE3xb-LFA!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo1.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3Dc5CnIHDrkblW5VE3xb-LFA%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D276.88171%26pitch%3D0!7i13312!8i6656!4m2!3m1!1s0x880fb6db3ab22e57:0x818a617564c70132!6m1!1e1) in Des Plaines, Illinois. You can’t even see anything in the linked Streetview image, either it is behind vegetation, fallen down (there’s something there) or gone altogether. It’s pretty sad that this is about all that is left. The crash wikipedia has [only the briefest of mentions](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Airlines_Flight_191#Memorial). The wiki also mentions a 2 foot tall brick memorial that I wasn’t aware of. Reading about it now, i see that it is at nearby Lake Park in Des Plaines. It’s not exactly what the OP was going on about but I think of it every time I pass by. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2015, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/83 "2015-12-31T23:57:43Z")
Something similar is memorials to those dumbfucks who go around the gates at train crossings with their bicycles. No, no fucking memorial to you you selfish, entitled little piece of shit! You got killed due to your own stupidity. The gate was down, and you were so fucking special that you couldn’t wait for the train to pass and the gate to raise! You may be dead, but the totally innocent train driver has to live with the nightmare of thinking that he killed another human being. If someone wants to memorialize you, maybe your friends can sponsor a urinal. Print an image of you on your bike on the porcelain so people can eternally piss on you. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/84 "2016-01-01T00:31:18Z")
> [@jnglmassiv](#): > > While waiting at a stoplight a couple years ago, I noticed a shabby vinyl banner on a fence, blowing in the breeze. The wind picked up one of the fallen corners and I could see that it was a memorial (of sorts) to the 271 killed aboard AA 191 in 1979. Worked just south of there and when I saw the column of black smoke I thought it was a tire fire at the junk yard that was around there. Uh, no. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/85 "2016-01-01T00:51:21Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > There is one near me on a busy state highway that has been there for twenty years. Whoever created it planted a tree, which is now 15-20 feet tall, and the highway crews mow around it. Damnedest thing I ever saw. It it close enough to the road that it’s now a hazard to traffic? Should be at least 30 ft (ideally more) from the edge line. Be pretty damn sad if their memorial kills someone. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/86 "2016-01-01T01:08:13Z")
My daughter died last month in an MVC that was not her fault(an oncoming driver didn’t see her and made a left turn that killed her). It happened on an urban street and I could not have (even if so inclined) planted a cross or anything else without a jackhammer. But the OP says s/he was angry already at an unnecessary long drive, and I understand the driver’s impulse to blame the victim, or those who love them, for an additional delay. My daughter’s death inconvenienced a whole lot of people, what with emergency vehicles and all, one way or another. On her behalf, I apologize. But when I see a roadside reminder that we can kill driving carelessly, I react differently than the OP. I guess I’m just not in much of a hurry anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/87 "2016-01-01T02:00:01Z")
> [@Patch](#): > > It it close enough to the road that it’s now a hazard to traffic? Should be at least 30 ft (ideally more) from the edge line. > > Be pretty damn sad if their memorial kills someone. I don’t think so, there is a drainage ditch, then an embankment. The tree is part way up the embankment, which, other than the tree, is kept mown. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/88 "2016-01-01T06:34:36Z")
> [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](#): > > My daughter died last month in an MVC that was not her fault(an oncoming driver didn’t see her and made a left turn that killed her). It happened on an urban street and I could not have (even if so inclined) planted a cross or anything else without a jackhammer. But the OP says s/he was angry already at an unnecessary long drive, and I understand the driver’s impulse to blame the victim, or those who love them, for an additional delay. My daughter’s death inconvenienced a whole lot of people, what with emergency vehicles and all, one way or another. On her behalf, I apologize. But when I see a roadside reminder that we can kill driving carelessly, I react differently than the OP. I guess I’m just not in much of a hurry anymore. King, I was NOT blaming the victims of this horrendous MVA. I was apportioning blame to those laying a memorial at the site of their unfortunate deaths, and those rubbernecking drivers who had slowed the traffic down to walking pace…on one of the busiest roads in Melbourne at the busiest time of the year. As I said in your memorial thread to your daughter, I am sorry for your loss, and hope her memory stays strong for you. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/89 "2016-01-01T06:52:00Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > There is one near me on a busy state highway that has been there for twenty years. Whoever created it planted a tree, which is now 15-20 feet tall, and the highway crews mow around it. Damnedest thing I ever saw. One like that here. Three kids killed. I think two were brothers. So up went a bench and flowers and three little trees, decorated at Christmas. It was all rather silly because the memorial was on the edge of a highway and there was no way to get to it without crossing 4 lanes of traffic and a median strip. Over time the memorial got pretty shabby and I was thrilled to see that it had finally been demolished. However, three new trees have been planted, where?, on the median strip. Where someday a driver will quite likely skid, swerve, be sideswiped, and end up wrapped around a tree, and people will bring flowers, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/90 "2016-01-01T07:36:50Z")
> [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](#): > > My daughter died last month in an MVC that was not her fault(an oncoming driver didn’t see her and made a left turn that killed her). It happened on an urban street and I could not have (even if so inclined) planted a cross or anything else without a jackhammer. But the OP says s/he was angry already at an unnecessary long drive, and I understand the driver’s impulse to blame the victim, or those who love them, for an additional delay. My daughter’s death inconvenienced a whole lot of people, what with emergency vehicles and all, one way or another. On her behalf, I apologize. But when I see a roadside reminder that we can kill driving carelessly, I react differently than the OP. I guess I’m just not in much of a hurry anymore. You have nothing to apologize for. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/91 "2016-01-01T08:14:22Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Losing a child has to be one of the worst experiences a human being can suffer. The bitching about road side memorials is either trolling or next level assholery. My former neighbors’ 21-year-old daughter died 3 miles from our houses. It made her mother depressed to see the cross with her girl’s name every single time she needed to drive to the nearest city to go shopping. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/92 "2016-01-01T15:42:52Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > King, I was NOT blaming the victims of this horrendous MVA. I was apportioning blame to those laying a memorial at the site of their unfortunate deaths, and those rubbernecking drivers who had slowed the traffic down to walking pace…on one of the busiest roads in Melbourne at the busiest time of the year. > > As I said in your memorial thread to your daughter, I am sorry for your loss, and hope her memory stays strong for you. Dig that hole a little deeper, K-wank. Maybe you’ll find opals. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/93 "2016-01-01T18:58:58Z")
I did not mean to suggest, kambuckta, that you were victim-blaming (you aren’t), and I appreciate your thoughts here and elsewhere. I was just pointing out that it seemed from your OP that you were already tired and irritated when you encountered the memorial-in-progress, and suggesting that the mourners received more of your ire that they might have deserved. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2016, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/94 "2016-01-01T22:55:44Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > Hmmm, then it seems you still haven’t heard that one. Certainly not in the text you quoted. > > In the cases described, this was beyond simple drunk driving- i.e. driving yourself home thinking you’re o.k. to drive when, in fact, you’ve consumed enough alcohol to impair your judgment, perception, and ability to react to unexpected events or circumstances. This is a terrible lapse in judgment but nevertheless an offense that the legal system will hold you accountable for should you get pulled over or cause harm to innocent life. > > But the cases described went way beyond simple drunk driving. This was drunken _partying in a moving vehicle_. And even at that, I have in no way advocated the death penalty. All I’ve said is that their deaths are neither sad nor tragic and that the world is not measurably worse for the loss. Hmm, must be a tonal issue. Your first post struck me as horrifyingly gleeful at the thought of dead drunk partiers. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2016, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/95 "2016-01-02T22:18:27Z")
In the same spirit: please won’t someone make it illegal to do “RIP” memorials in big vinyl letters on car rear windows? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2016, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/96 "2016-01-02T23:11:34Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > In the same spirit: please won’t someone make it illegal to do “RIP” memorials in big vinyl letters on car rear windows? I saw one recently for a guy named “Moe” Lester. 😕 Wish I was kidding. The “angel baby” ones are disturbing to me too. I know that people who have experienced an infant loss want to remember their babies, but every time they get into their cars? ---
**Author:** ![Wallet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e99b99/32.png) [@Wallet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallet)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2016, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/97 "2016-01-03T01:36:28Z")
**The King of Soup** , **Faithfool** , and **Baker** , I’m so sorry for your loss. Your loved ones sounded like wonderful people, and I know they will never be forgotten. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2016, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/98 "2016-01-03T03:29:39Z")
I’d like to say I’m kind of on OP’s side, a little. My daughter had lots of qualities that should be remembered, but stopping traffic wasn’t one of them. She was young and brilliant and brave and beautiful, and that’s enough. She never wanted to make anyone angry, except maybe me, for my own edification ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2016, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/99 "2016-01-03T04:00:38Z")
> [@Wallet](#): > > **The King of Soup** , **Faithfool** , and **Baker** , I’m so sorry for your loss. Your loved ones sounded like wonderful people, and I know they will never be forgotten. Thank you, **Wallet**. I really appreciate that. And I also would like to extend my sympathies again too. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2016, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716/100 "2016-01-03T06:08:17Z")
It seems to me that hanging out on the side of a highway to construct a memorial for dead people will soon lead to people hanging out on the side of a highway to construct a memorial for dead people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roadside-memorials-for-dead-kids-cut-it-the-fuck-out/741716.md?page=6)