# Roald Dahl Short Story **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 9, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505 "2013-03-09T22:29:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/21 "2013-03-11T14:34:03Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > While we’re at it, his very first published work was a nonfiction account of how he just barely survived a fiery plane crash. You really wouldn’t think that a first person account of burning alive would be funny, but it was. Well, a lot of people don’t know that Dahl was a heroic fighter pilot in the RAF during World War 2. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/22 "2013-03-11T14:39:02Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > While we’re at it, his very first published work was a nonfiction account of how he just barely survived a fiery plane crash. You really wouldn’t think that a first person account of burning alive would be funny, but it was. Actually, as Dahl wrote in Going Solo, he had a story published in an African newspaper before that. About how the female cook in his house was abducted by a lion, who took her away in his mouth, then let her down several miles from the house, totally unharmed. His telling of the tale is very dark and totally hilarious–the trademark of Dahl’s short stories. As also told in the book, C. S. Forrester had contacted Dahl because he had been commissioned by the Saturday Evening Post to write a story about fighter pilots in World War II. Dahl wrote up his story as some “notes,” had them typed up, sent them off and forgot about it. Two weeks later, he got a letter from Forrester: I ask you for notes, not a completed story. Did you know you are a gifted writer. I didn’t change a thing, but submitted it to my agent, who sold it to the Saturday Evening Post for $1,000. He kept his 10%. Enclosed is a check for $900. Dahl thought: It can’t be this easy. But it was. Only that easy if your name is Roald Dahl. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/23 "2013-03-11T15:37:13Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > It was a boy named Lexington, raised by his aunt in rural West Virginia, as I remember. Does that sound familiar? I’ll find the story itself in a while, but that’s how I remember it. The boy himself gets processed into meat, as I recall the story. Yes, that’s right, it’s the Dahl short story “Pig,” as **maggenpye** noted. > [@tim-n-va](#): > > One that stuck with me was about a guy buying a really valuable chair from an estate sale. He got it cheap, professing to plan to use if for firewood. When he pulled his vehicle up, the seller had broken it up for him - no charge… That’s “Parson’s Pleasure.” It’s not an estate sale; the antiques dealer (dressed as an Anglican clergyman to more easily win people’s trust) finds a Chippendale commode in the rundown farmhouse of three yokels, and persuades them to sell it to him 'way too cheaply, but gets his comeuppance in the end: [Parson's Pleasure (short story) - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parson%27s_Pleasure_(short_story)) My sister introduced me to Dahl in high school, and I’m glad she did. _Kiss Kiss_ and _Switch Bitch_ are both very good collections of Dahl’s short stories. _My Uncle Oswald_ is a full-length comic/erotic novel with lots of famous Europeans making cameo appearances. Highly recommended. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/24 "2013-03-11T20:53:53Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Yes, that’s right, it’s the Dahl short story “Pig,” as **maggenpye** noted. To be fair, I only found _Pig_ because **PRR** mentioned the name ‘Lexington’ in the post before mine.\*\* PRR\*\* didn’t have time to search and I did. ---
**Author:** ![brendon\_small](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brendon_small/32/17101_2.png) [@brendon\_small](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brendon_small)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/25 "2013-03-16T00:51:13Z")
I think it may have been “Pig” - I came across it when looking and thought maybe there was a different story, but I think you guys are right. Thanks! Brendon ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/26 "2013-03-16T02:17:32Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > What was it about the 1960s? It was clearly the Golden Age of children’s literature, but all the greats were nuttier than fruitcakes. Dahl, Sendak, Silverstein, Gorey—did they all have massive cocaine problems coupled with some serious mommy issues or something? I’m not extensively learned in their various backgrounds but they all were present during the Fifties when sick humor made its debut. This time around anyway. A case for it going back much further could be made. For years when my children were young I’d sit them down for “Willy Wonka” on the holidays grateful for the free babysitting while I was preparing for the big meal. It wasn’t until they were grown and gone that I finally watched the film on TV and was horrified. That was one frightening little sugar plum. My favorite Dahl short story is the one about the guy whose car breaks down while he’s crossing a stretch of desert and he is welcomed as a guest of a local sheik who has a mysterious daughter. In spite of her reclusiveness and the family’s presence he manages to have stealthy congress with her and thinks he has made it safely away without his deed being exposed. Can’t remember the name of it. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/27 "2013-03-16T02:47:17Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > …My favorite Dahl short story is the one about the guy whose car breaks down while he’s crossing a stretch of desert and he is welcomed as a guest of a local sheik who has a mysterious daughter. In spite of her reclusiveness and the family’s presence he manages to have stealthy congress with her and thinks he has made it safely away without his deed being exposed. Can’t remember the name of it. That was “The Visitor,” which also featured the world-class lech Uncle Oswald. You can find it in the collection _Switch Bitch_. The twist is that Oswald learns that the daughter was reclusive because she has leprosy. They had sex in the dark, so he didn’t find out until the deed was done. Yikes! ---
**Author:** ![doug\_r](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@doug\_r](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doug_r)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/28 "2013-03-16T07:04:45Z")
There are several books with Uncle Oswald stories. They are each fantastic. One of the few series of short stories that ended far, far too soon. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/29 "2013-03-16T09:28:28Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Right, and putting the dead mouse in the candy jar–HILARIOUS! > . At least it wasn’t a snozberry. Go on, children, lick them! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/30 "2013-03-17T03:58:21Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > At least it wasn’t a snozberry. Go on, children, lick them! Considering how horrible those are supposed to taste, I’m surprised that no one in the movie complained about that. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/31 "2013-03-17T04:14:24Z")
Following a link in the last entry of [this Cracked article](http://www.cracked.com/article_19458_the-5-most-badass-teams-famous-people-to-ever-join-forces_p2.html) (Clare Booth Luce seems to have liked him, at least) led me to [this very interesting essay about Roald Dahl](http://thisrecording.com/today/2011/6/1/in-which-we-consider-the-macabre-unpleasantness-of-roald-dah.html). ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/32 "2013-03-17T05:24:30Z")
Thanks for the reminder, **Elendil’s Heir.** Of a particularly intractable variety IIRC. Wanted to mention to those of you who enjoy Dahl, you may also enjoy the tales of H.H. Munro (Saki)) and Ambrose Bierce. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/33 "2013-03-19T01:58:29Z")
Not to be confused with another of Dahl’s works with a somewhat similar theme: “[The Pig](http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-pig/).” ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/34 "2013-03-19T02:36:43Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Not to be confused with another of Dahl’s works with a somewhat similar theme: “[The Pig](http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-pig/).” I found that inspirational. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/35 "2013-03-19T20:34:08Z")
If you like Pig, check out Dahl’s [Revolting Rhymes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolting_Rhymes). That man was so twisted; i.e. Red Riding Hood: The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers. She whips a pistol from her knickers. She aims it at the creature’s head And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead. A few weeks later, in the wood, I came across Miss Riding Hood. But what a change! No cloak of red, No silly hood upon her head. She said, ``Hello, and do please note My lovely furry wolfskin coat.‘’ ETA: And to combine the two themes in Three Little Pigs style: Once more the maiden’s eyelid flickers. She draws the pistol from her knickers. Once more she hits the vital spot, And kills him with a single shot. Pig, peeping through the window, stood And yelled, “Well done, Miss Riding Hood!” Ah, Piglet, you must never trust Young ladies from the upper crust. For now, Miss Riding Hood, one notes, Not only has two wolfskin coats, But when she goes from place to place, She has a PIGSKIN TRAVELING CASE. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/36 "2013-03-19T20:43:20Z")
Dahl was the host of a bizarre short-lived series called ['Way Out (1961)](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054574/combined). Some of them are on youtube, if you care to check them out. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/37 "2013-03-19T21:10:21Z")
Looks like [Tales of the Unexpected](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001094/filmoseries#tt0075592) is the series I remember. Even lists [The Hitch-Hiker.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0717492/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl) ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/38 "2013-03-19T22:10:15Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > If you like Pig, check out Dahl’s [Revolting Rhymes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolting_Rhymes). That man was so twisted; i.e. Red Riding Hood: > > The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers. > She whips a pistol from her knickers. > She aims it at the creature’s head > And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead. > A few weeks later, in the wood, > I came across Miss Riding Hood. > But what a change! No cloak of red, > No silly hood upon her head. > She said, ``Hello, and do please note > My lovely furry wolfskin coat.‘’ > > ETA: And to combine the two themes in Three Little Pigs style: > > Once more the maiden’s eyelid flickers. > She draws the pistol from her knickers. > Once more she hits the vital spot, > And kills him with a single shot. > Pig, peeping through the window, stood > And yelled, “Well done, Miss Riding Hood!” > > Ah, Piglet, you must never trust > Young ladies from the upper crust. > For now, Miss Riding Hood, one notes, > Not only has two wolfskin coats, > But when she goes from place to place, > She has a PIGSKIN TRAVELING CASE. Oh that’s a hoot. 😃 I gotta read that one. My own favorite (deeply disturbing) nursery rhyme is one from the novel Gormenghast, called “The Frivolous Cake”-the favorite of the young daughter in the story. It’s about a cake that sails about on “the pointless sea” being chased by a knife, and it ends like so, with the knife catching up: The crumbs blow free down the pointless sea To the beat of a cakey heart And the sensitive steel of the knife can feel That love is a race apart In the speed of the lingering light are blown The crumbs to the hake above, And the tropical air vibrates to the drone Of a cake in the throes of love. ---
**Author:** ![Damfino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Damfino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damfino)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/39 "2013-03-20T00:15:22Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > That was “The Visitor,” which also featured the world-class lech Uncle Oswald. You can find it in the collection _Switch Bitch_. The twist is that Oswald learns that the daughter was reclusive because she has leprosy. They had sex in the dark, so he didn’t find out until the deed was done. Yikes! IIRC there was another twist . There were three candidates for congress (!). He had bitten the girl on the neck during the proceedings and was stymied the next morning when the mother and two daughters were all three wearing black scarves around their necks, obscuring the evidence.. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505/40 "2013-03-20T00:40:36Z")
> [@Damfino](#): > > IIRC there was another twist . There were three candidates for congress (!). He had bitten the girl on the neck during the proceedings and was stymied the next morning when the mother and two daughters were all three wearing black scarves around their necks, obscuring the evidence.. Actually, just the mom and daughter. The other daughter, you see, he had…well, just imagine a nice big spoiler box here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roald-dahl-short-story/652505.md?page=3)