# "Rock of Ages" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 31, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659 "2012-05-31T15:21:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/1 "2012-05-31T15:21:59Z")
I love musicals. I adore Adam Shankman. I think Julianne Hough is cute as a button. Alec Baldwin amuses me. Tom Cruise doesn’t bother me. The '80s is the last decade where I was up on mainstream pop music. But … metal, whether hairy or otherwise, blech. I’d been thinking I’d go, but the trailers are making me less and less inclined. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/2 "2012-05-31T15:45:28Z")
It looks horrible. From what I gather from the commercials, it’s a movie about the worst songs in history as sung by Tom Cruise. Maybe I’m missing some subtleties. But Alec Baldwin in a hair-metal wig isn’t doing anything to make me re-think my position. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/3 "2012-05-31T16:02:29Z")
On one hand, it has been successful enough on Broadway to get turned into a movie. On the other hand, hair metal was always on the wrong side of cheesy at its best - there is the rare song that is a bit of a guilty pleasure or a good trip down memory lane. But doubling down on the cheese factor by doing hair metal songs in a Broadway musical format? I must not be the target demographic 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/4 "2012-05-31T16:06:33Z")
Hair-metal WAS cheese, though! And for some reason still retardly fun. I’m quite sure there’s music like that right now, also. I don’t care for musicals, or Tom Cruise, or even hair metal…but for some reason I want to see this. NO IDEA WHY!!! But I do. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/5 "2012-05-31T17:14:29Z")
I love musicals. I was a teenager when most of those songs were out. I love most of them in spite of their awfulness. I could karaoke the entire soundtrack. I’m pretty sure I’m the target demographic. And yet, the promos look horrible and the excerpt they did on Dancing with the Stars (I watch DWTS. I’m really sure I’m their target demographic) was not good. I think in about a year or two when it plays as a midnight movie sing-a-long or an outdoor summer movie in one of the parks, I’ll probably end up seeing it and belting out “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” at the top of my lungs. But I don’t see paying $11 while it’s first run at a theater. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/6 "2012-05-31T17:56:33Z")
RoA is one of those show I think only works live, and then only once for fun. Most musicals devised for Broadway don’t really translate well to film. I suppose becasue “Mamma Mia” didn’t entirely crash & burn, they thought they’s give Rock of Ages a shot. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/7 "2012-05-31T18:04:19Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > On the other hand, hair metal was always on the wrong side of cheesy at its best - You take that back right now. :mad: I’ve heard about the movie but haven’t seen any trailers yet. I wouldn’t mind seeing the play for fun though. Now excuse me while I go tease up my hair. ---
**Author:** ![magnusblitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@magnusblitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magnusblitz)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/8 "2012-05-31T18:12:09Z")
> [@amarinth](#): > > And yet, the promos look horrible and the excerpt they did on Dancing with the Stars (I watch DWTS. I’m really sure I’m their target demographic) was not good. Yeah, I love 80’s hair metal, and find Baldwin and Cruise to both be cheesy fun, so I was optimistic for this movie up until I saw the preview for it. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/9 "2012-05-31T20:14:02Z")
Heh, I’m the exact opposite of the OP. I normally don’t care for musicals. But I was all hyped to go see this movie. Mainly because the song are all icons of my adolescent youth. But then they had to go cast Tom Cruise. I fuck’n hate that guy, enough so, that I will not go see it. Johnny Depp would have been a better choice. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/10 "2012-05-31T20:15:14Z")
> [@Mrs.Cake](#): > > I suppose becasue “Mamma Mia” didn’t entirely crash & burn, they thought they’s give Rock of Ages a shot. The _Mamma Mia_ budget was $52 million. The worldwide gross stands at $602 million ([April 2009](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795421/)). ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/11 "2012-05-31T20:40:49Z")
The show needs [this song.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV23vPY8JA4) ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/12 "2012-05-31T20:57:59Z")
I don’t think I can trust the quality of a movie about metal, that’s been ported from the Broadway stage. That’s kind of like listening to a rap song that’s been adapted from a nursery rhyme, to me. I’ve only seen bits and pieces of the trailers, and I didn’t even realize it was Cruise up there. But from what I’ve seen, it looks fairly ridiculous. When I think of Hair Metal bands, sure you have the glitz and the schmaltz and the plotz and the _flavin’_ and all that … but they were still metal bands. The trailers I’ve seen make it look like the producers researched hair metal by going to see John Travolta in _Stayin’ Alive._ But I’ll probably still go see it. I’m a sucker for nostalgia. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/13 "2012-05-31T21:23:08Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Heh, I’m the exact opposite of the OP. > > I normally don’t care for musicals. But I was all hyped to go see this movie. Mainly because the song are all icons of my adolescent youth. But then they had to go cast Tom Cruise. I fuck’n hate that guy, enough so, that I will not go see it. > > Johnny Depp would have been a better choice. I don’t hate Tom Cruise, but he does seem miscast. In the trailer and the W magazine cover he looks ridiculous, and not in the cool, sexy way like hair metal guys sometimes did. I keep thinking of the recent Community episode where Joel McHale was dressed like a Criss Angel type magician in a kinda metal outfit with leather and makeup and he looked ridiculous, but it still worked. I couldn’t think of who it should have been instead, but you’re right that Johnny Depp would have been better. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/14 "2012-05-31T22:27:04Z")
I am fully pumped for it, and my wife and I plan on a good pre-party beforehand. Maybe some wine coolers for her? Hmm - need 80s drinks ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/15 "2012-05-31T22:28:02Z")
In that case … wine coolers for you too. And we thank you for your support. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/16 "2012-05-31T22:43:59Z")
While not a fan of Tom Cruise in particular, I am looking forward to seeing this, it looks like a ton of fun! But yeah… Johnny Depp would have been WAY better! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/17 "2012-05-31T22:57:33Z")
And I just caught a full trailer featuring Catherine Zeta-Jones and a group of faux-Stepford Wives singing “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” by Twisted Sister. Yeah … I don’t think you could drag me to this movie if a bet was involved. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/18 "2012-05-31T22:58:43Z")
> [@Sam\_Lowry](#): > > I don’t hate Tom Cruise, but he does seem miscast. In the trailer and the W magazine cover he looks ridiculous, and not in the cool, sexy way like hair metal guys sometimes did. I keep thinking of the recent Community episode where Joel McHale was dressed like a Criss Angel type magician in a kinda metal outfit with leather and makeup and he looked ridiculous, but it still worked. I couldn’t think of who it should have been instead, but you’re right that Johnny Depp would have been better. [This post](http://www.celebitchy.com/230582/tom_cruise_continues_to_seriously_rock_out_in_new_rock_of_ages_stills_give_it_up/) says pretty much exactly what I was thinking- Cruise seems to be taking things way too seriously. This isn’t a serious, Paul Thomas Anderson Oscar-contender movie. It’s supposed to be a cheesy, fun, popcorn movie for the summer. That said, I might see it. Probably not in theaters unless I’m hanging out with friends who want to go see it. But it looks like something that might be enjoyable to watch on TNT on a Sunday afternoon when I need to do laundry and clean my apartment but just feel like laying on the couch and zoning out and watching TV instead. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/19 "2012-06-13T00:33:33Z")
[Rock of Ages](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1336608/) - IMDb page. I saw a preview trailer for this movie last weekend, and to me, it had “FAIL” written all over it. Is there anyone interested in seeing it? Since it opens this Friday (15 June 2012), these questions are for after that date: Is there anyone who saw it and thought it was the greatest thing since sliced cheese? Did anyone see it and then wonder why? Tell me about your impressions of this film, from either just the trailer or from having watched the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659/20 "2012-06-13T00:41:38Z")
My impression, first, was that they were not understanding how bad the music they picked for the movie really is. Then I thought they didn’t seem to understand that what they’re stated goal is (a musical that guys will want to see and bring their girlfriends to) was stupid. When they started in on the whole “mashup” thing, that’s when it all really started to fall apart for me. You aren’t going to make Poison and Europe any better by doing a mashup of their songs. Or Dokken and Winger. Or whoever. I guess my biggest beef is that they picked, IMO, the worst possible music to use in a transparent effort to appeal to someone’s nostalgia, except they seem to not have noticed that the time period their using was more than 25 years ago, and so their target demographic is a very small number of males who are now 40-55 years old. Most anyone younger than that either didn’t listen to hair metal and/or actively disliked it. Most anyone older than that prolly didn’t listen to it in the first place. And let’s face it, many people who did listen to it at the time now slap themselves trying to figure out what in hell they were thinking back then. This movie strikes me as a product of the same type of flawed decision making process that led to [_Cop Rock_](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098772/). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rock-of-ages/623659.md?page=2)