# Rockford Files... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 17, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411 "2009-09-17T05:06:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/21 "2009-09-17T16:01:52Z")
You think Rockford Files is cool. But there are some things that you would change if it were up to you. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/22 "2009-09-17T16:41:11Z")
**Small Clanger** - yes. I thought it was a tough question. Guess not. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/23 "2009-09-18T18:28:00Z")
> [@vd](#): > > Being resigned to the fact that it would be cheesy anyway… > > Jim: Bruce Campbell > Becker: J.K. Simmons > Gandolph Fitch (the Isaac Hayes role): Snoop Dogg > Richie Brockelman: Michael Cera DAMN YOU VD! 😃 Nobody could replace Garner…but if you wanted to get close…Bruce Campbell! Bruce could pull it off nicely. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/24 "2009-09-18T18:49:00Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > I’d argue that David Boreanaz is already doing a low-wattage version of Rockford on BONES: the amiable investigator who can take a punch and handle a gun but really excels at reassuring the people he’s sizing up. He’s also got the square head. Good call. Suggestions I’m on board with: [ol] [li]Not doing this at all.[/li][li]David Boreanaz as Rockford.[/li][li]Fillion as Lance White.[/li][/ol] I would suggest Robert Blake as Rocky, but he’s too old and, oh yeah, too tainted. Is Freddie Prinze Jr. too young for Angel? Is Rosie Perez too old? ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/25 "2009-09-21T00:59:27Z")
My favorite Rockford answering machine message at the beginning of the show: “OK. It seems you’ve figured out how to use your new answering machine. Now how about paying for it?” Or something close to that. I wonder if there is a list out there of all those answering machine messages. Like the Norm-ism’s from Cheers. I’ll be back. I’m going to google-fu ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/26 "2009-09-21T01:01:14Z")
[That was easy](http://thesandbox.net/arm/rockford/answering_machine/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/27 "2009-09-21T01:17:03Z")
I’d love to see a Rockford Files movie! And I’d vote for Mel Gibson. I’d also make it modern-day. One of the best things about remaking an old show is how they make it fit into modern day styles. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/28 "2009-09-21T01:19:49Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > My favorite Rockford answering machine message at the beginning of the show: ROCKFORD MACHINE. THIS IS (somebody’s) MACHINE. PLEASE TELL YOUR MASTER TO CALL MY MASTER. THANK YOU ROCKFORD MACHINE. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/29 "2009-09-21T02:11:45Z")
Please let there not be a modern Rockford files movie. The show is fine as it is. A bombastic remake would ruin it. Though if there must be a remake, let Josh Brolin be Rockford. Certainly not Mel Gibson. Why would that be a good idea? My favorite line: Doctor: You’re a lucky man Mr. Rockford. If that bullet had gone a half inch to the right it would have killed you. Rockford: Yeah, but if it had gone a half inch to the left it would have missed me completely. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/30 "2009-09-21T02:44:10Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I would suggest Robert Blake as Rocky, but he’s too old and, oh yeah, too tainted. Harvey Keitel? > [@](#): > > Is Freddie Prinze Jr. too young for Angel? Is Rosie Perez too old? Not scruffy enough. I think [Maz Jobrani](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0423414/) has the right look but an Iranian Angel? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/31 "2009-09-21T03:15:46Z")
A great show. One of the cable channels has be rerunning it lately, unfortunately they’re skipping around in the episodes and don’t have nearly the whole run. And of course there already were some movies in the mid-90’s. It was the original cast, just 20 years later. Jim was moving up in the world; he had a double-wide. I really don’t see Nathan Fillion as Lance White. From _Firefly_ he strikes me as much too hangdog and scrappy. Lance White should be a boy scout with a glass of milk in one hand and a rabbit’s foot in the other. I’m not sure it should be remade, but here’s my cast, so far: Jim Rockford: Bruce Willis Evelyn “Angel” Martin: Sam Rockwell Dennis Becker: Michael Chiklis Beth Davenport: Laura Linney (Willis is a little old, but I can’t think of anyone in the right age range who can play the reluctant hero/lovable underdog/con man character to do Rockford justice.) > [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > My favorite line: > Doctor: You’re a lucky man Mr. Rockford. If that bullet had gone a half inch to the right it would have killed you. > Rockford: Yeah, but if it had gone a half inch to the left it would have missed me completely. Close, but it wasn’t a doctor (it was Rocky) and it wasn’t a bullet (it was a punch). “A half inch to the left and you’d be missin’ that eye.” “Yeah, but a half inch to the right and he’d have missed me completely.” ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/32 "2009-09-21T03:19:55Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > You think Rockford Files is cool. But there are some things that you would change if it were up to you. Okay, if I had to I’d suggest Jim unloaded that Firebird Formula for a proper Trans-Am, but as he was trained racer while I’m a schlub I really should defer to his not being an idiot who knew what was best for slewing around the Sonora. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/33 "2009-09-21T03:23:11Z")
Or he could buy Harry O’s MG, which was always in the shop so he had to take the bus. First realistic Cop Show. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/34 "2009-09-21T04:39:41Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > I’d argue that David Boreanaz is already doing a low-wattage version of Rockford on BONES: the amiable investigator who can take a punch and handle a gun but really excels at reassuring the people he’s sizing up. And he’s quick with the wisecracks, but it’s never done with Clooney-style smugness or smarminess; it’s just equal parts cheerful and sarcastic. Odd. I glanced over the OP and my eyes caught “Rockford” and “Angel.” I thought, “Ooh, Angel could play Rockford.” ---
**Author:** ![Ellis\_Aponte\_Jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@Ellis\_Aponte\_Jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellis_Aponte_Jr)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/35 "2009-09-21T04:48:39Z")
_Harry O_ was a great show; it actually debuted the same month as _Rockford Files_. It was also the show that gave us Farrah Fawcett. And then it was bumped off the schedule by _Charlie’s Angels_, of all things. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/36 "2009-09-21T04:56:08Z")
I had a bit of a mancrush on both Jim Garner and David Janssen. Not that there was anything wrong with it. :eek: ETA: Did I say THAT? Er, I was young and easily led, having been a _Maverick_ fan almost since birth and having a brother who watched every episode of _The Fugitive_ obsessively. Um, which came easily for him since he was OCD. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/37 "2009-09-21T14:07:44Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Odd. I glanced over the OP and my eyes caught “Rockford” and “Angel.” I thought, “Ooh, Angel could play Rockford.” On one episode of “Angel” Angel used a private investigator to do something (I forget exactly what the details were.) We need a fanfic showing how Angel the vampire hired Rockford, and how Rockford’s Angel (ie Evelyn “Angel” Martin) almost screwed everything up. I’m against the Rockford remake. You can’t improve on perfection. My favorite Rockford lines were Angel’s line “I’ll stonewall 'em, Jimmy” right before Angel spilled his guts in world record time, and when some bad guy said to Jimmy, “You’re about to go into the orchard business. As a soil additive.” (Not an exact quote, I know.) ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/38 "2009-09-21T15:00:43Z")
My favorite Rockford moment was when he said _klaatu barada nikto_ to some big goon who was about to beat him up. ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/39 "2009-09-21T15:28:06Z")
Back in the late 90s I was hoping they’d do a Rockford film starring Bill Murray. He has the right look, at that time was about the right age, and if he played it straight he had the chops. Too late for that now. It’ll get done and screwed up royally eventually- they’re busy screwing up the A-Team as we speak. ---
**Author:** ![Claire\_Beauchamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411/40 "2009-09-21T17:02:48Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I really don’t see Nathan Fillion as Lance White. From _Firefly_ he strikes me as much too hangdog and scrappy. Lance White should be a boy scout with a glass of milk in one hand and a rabbit’s foot in the other. I feel ya, but I think Nathan could pull it off. I mean, he IS Captain Hammer, after all. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rockford-files/510411.md?page=3)