# Roland Deschain, I have some choice words for you.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 15, 2005, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853 "2005-01-15T10:15:46Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/1 "2005-01-15T10:15:46Z")
[from this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=296671)
At first I felt sorry for you, that your marriage was on the rocks. But then I read this:
> [@](#):
>
> Did I mention that I’ve made not so vague death threats to her during arguments when she has made her eventual plans to leave me clear (saying things like “if you think that you will just walk off to a happy life and leave me behind one day as a tired, lonely old man then I swear before almighty God that you are dead wrong woman .”)
Fuck you. How can you say such a despicable thing to someone you claim to love? She is not some toy for you to destroy out of spite because some other boy wants to play with it. She is flesh and blood. Nothing she has done warrants death. Nothing. If you have problems, you try to work them out together. If that fails, then you break up and walk away. Do you imagine that you are some great specimen of manhood, that she should quiver in delight at your merest glance? You are nothing more than disgusting dogshit, to be scraped off my shoe with a stick before you stain my carpet. If you keep this up, one day you _will_ be a tired and lonely old man, wallowing in your own filth and no one to mop up your piss.
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### Author:  [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/2 "2005-01-15T10:32:34Z")
Give the man a break. He’s about to have the worst time of his whole life and he’s grasping at straws.
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### Author:  [@rorty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rorty)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/3 "2005-01-15T10:40:30Z")
That’s a pretty shitty thing to say even considering the circumstances.
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### Author:  [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/4 "2005-01-15T10:56:15Z")
**Roland Deschain** is perhaps the most interesting person on this board, he asks the damnest questions and I can’t for the life of me figure out if he’s for real or pulling everybody’s leg big time. Never have I heard of such a bizarre and thoroughly fucked up family-life.
If real, Roland you need send that wife packing.
If fake, applause – masterly done.
---
### Author:  [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/5 "2005-01-15T11:08:30Z")
> [@Rune](#):
>
> **Roland Deschain** is perhaps the most interesting person on this board, he asks the damnest questions and I can’t for the life of me figure out if he’s for real or pulling everybody’s leg big time.
I couldn’t agree more! I’ve pondered this very question time and again myself. He’s certainly unique either way.
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### Author:  [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/6 "2005-01-15T11:36:02Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#):
>
> [from this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=296671)
> Fuck you. How can you say such a despicable thing to someone you claim to love? She is not some toy for you to destroy out of spite because some other boy wants to play with it. She is flesh and blood. Nothing she has done warrants death. Nothing. If you have problems, you try to work them out together. If that fails, then you break up and walk away. Do you imagine that you are some great specimen of manhood, that she should quiver in delight at your merest glance? You are nothing more than disgusting dogshit, to be scraped off my shoe with a stick before you stain my carpet. If you keep this up, one day you _will_ be a tired and lonely old man, wallowing in your own filth and no one to mop up your piss.
I can’t imagine defending his saying that or any of the things he mentioned it that particular post. But the thing is…he wasn’t.
What I got was he was posting with an acute sense that what he had done was wrong and he was trying to be honest about it. And was trying to explain why he was doing something weird out of a (possibly misguided ) effort to make it up to her in some way.
Didn’t spund to me like he thinks of himself as some great specimen of manhood. Quite the contrary. So…not really deserving of pitting.
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### Author:  [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/7 "2005-01-15T13:34:10Z")
I can see what she means about putting WAY too much personal information online.
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/8 "2005-01-15T13:38:19Z")
The one I’m worried about is his four year old son. What type of home environment does that poor kid have to endure?
1. A mother who wants to stay home, with a father who forced her into nursing
2. A mother who disdains his father, and is planning to bolt the second her son is out of the house
3. A father who is admittedly lazy and expects his wife to support him until the son is grown
☹ :mad: ☹
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### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/9 "2005-01-15T13:46:18Z")
Don’t worry he’ll probably meet his true love at the swing club.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/10 "2005-01-15T14:10:50Z")
> [@don't ask](#):
>
> Don’t worry he’ll probably meet his true love at the swing club.
Especially the one in Rio.
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### Author:  [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/11 "2005-01-15T15:43:42Z")
… once, for 60 seconds.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/12 "2005-01-15T18:04:44Z")
Holy shit! What an asshole.
All I kept seeing was “Well, counseling COULD be a possibility, but that would entail me having to go to bed early and actually giving a damn about someone other than myself. Oh, and I know she wanted a different job, and she would like to be a stay at home mom, but hey, I got a dream, and she’s gonna fulfill it whether she likes it or not. And I post all the details of our personal life online to total strangers, even though she’s repeatedly asked me not to, but I enjoy this, so I’m not going to stop.”
So apparently, some radio show is more important than his marriage. And if she tries to leave he’ll kill her.
Beautiful. Just fucking beautiful.
Fuck you, **Roland**. You’re nothing but a fucking abusive bully. You dont’ give a SHIT about her needs or wants. It’s all about YOU, isn’t it?
**Mrs. Roland** , if you’re reading this-grab your son and RUN. Don’t walk-RUN.
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### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/13 "2005-01-15T18:17:03Z")
Is all of this for real? WTF is going on? Someone clue me in.
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/14 "2005-01-15T18:36:01Z")
> [@Rune](#):
>
> **Roland Deschain** is perhaps the most interesting person on this board, he asks the damnest questions and I can’t for the life of me figure out if he’s for real or pulling everybody’s leg big time. Never have I heard of such a bizarre and thoroughly fucked up family-life.
>
> If real, Roland you need send that wife packing.
> If fake, applause – masterly done.
Same here. My BSoMeter keeps dinging re some of the stuff he posts , but he includes so much damn personal detail you figure just mayyybbeeeee it’s for real. If he is a BS artist he’s sure a hardworking one.
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### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/15 "2005-01-15T20:21:41Z")
**Roland** , if you’re reading this, see a counselor. A psychologist might not hurt either. At the very least, talking about all this and getting it sorted out–with one non-objective person, in private–will help.
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### Author:  [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/16 "2005-01-15T21:35:50Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> So apparently, some radio show is more important than his marriage.
Well, you have to understand the quandary he’s in–after all, mankind has yet to develop a method of recording audio for playback at a later time, right?
Whenever I see an OP by **Roland** , I can practically hear the beeping of the truck as it backs up to the SDMB loading dock with a couple fresh pallets of rolleyes.
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### Author:  [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/17 "2005-01-15T21:36:07Z")
> [@SteveG1](#):
>
> Is all of this for real? WTF is going on? Someone clue me in.
You’re really gonna have to seach for all of his posts and read about his entire life to get it. It’s a hard story to pick up in the middle of. I’ve been following it for the last few months, and I have no idea what’s going on, beyond basically that he accidentally got his wife pregnant, they had a shotgun wedding, they really aren’t cut out for each other, and so on. Next week’s episode: swing-club with some of his wife’s nursing school buddies.
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### Author:  [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/18 "2005-01-15T22:05:33Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> **Mrs. Roland** , if you’re reading this-grab your son and RUN. Don’t walk-RUN.
Why does she have to RUN? Is RUNNING faster than running? Anyway advocating she take his son and run is nasty.
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/19 "2005-01-15T22:16:20Z")
Roland’s verbal abuse that takes the form of threats of death are a form of domestic violence. I would suspect that such threats are against the law and they are beneath contempt under any circumstances.
In the other thread Roland said that he hasn’t the time or money for counselling. Yet he has the time for dinner and swinging? He also rejects counselling because there are things on which he won’t compromise.
(Note to Roland: **Boundaries are fine! Counselling doesn’t mean you have to move all of your boundaries – just the ones that you agree to. And she doesn’t have to be part of the counselling!**
His self-esteem is so low that he finds it only fitting that she has negative feelings about him. How is he ever going to treat another human being decently and fairly and lovingly when he is so far off center himself?
**Roland** , $60 an hour is a lot of money. But your life is worthless without some measure of self-respect and self-control. When you can control yourself, you won’t need to control others and you can begin to enjoy being an empowered human being. It may be as simple as a _few_ counselling (one a month?) sessions and the right medication. But I am not a doctor.
You just can’t go around threatening death on people. _Even when you are legally married_ for fifty years, there are never any guarantees that your spouse won’t leave the next day. You are never going to have that kind of security. _Never_. But you can have a sense of _freedom_ that is even better and it won’t depend on the whims of someone else.
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roland-deschain-i-have-some-choice-words-for-you/284853/20 "2005-01-15T22:16:20Z")
> [@Rune](#):
>
> **Roland Deschain** is perhaps the most interesting person on this board, he asks the damnest questions and I can’t for the life of me figure out if he’s for real or pulling everybody’s leg big time. Never have I heard of such a bizarre and thoroughly fucked up family-life.
>
> If real, Roland you need send that wife packing.
> If fake, applause – masterly done.
I wouldn’t put in the top 10000 interesting people on this board.
If it is fake, he should probably be banned. If I wanted to read a fictional soap opera there are other placed I could do that.
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