# Romance Movies That Feature Actual Stalking **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 6, 2014, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932 "2014-08-06T09:48:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/21 "2014-08-06T20:01:53Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > That’s a pretty loose definition of stalking. Anyone who goes to someone else’s house once is stalking? He’s not peering in windows, not monitoring her whereabouts, not making unwelcome advances, and not repeating a pattern of harassment. I think the bar needs to be a bit higher before you can call it “technically” stalking. Yeah, that’s really why I started the thread: there seems to be a given idea that romantic comedy = actual stalking, but it’s sometimes hard to pin down to actual scenes: awkward, unwelcome and embarrassing, but calling it stalking is a bit harsh. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/22 "2014-08-06T20:03:19Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > I thought about this as a nominee, but rejected it because the OP stated that the stalkerish behavior should be depicted as romantic. Niether Broderick’s nor Ryan’s character’s stalking of their exes is depicted as romantic … they are both depicted as obsessive losers who were ruining their lives with all the stalking. Yes, fair enough–but the romance that buds between them isn’t depicted as perverse or dysfunctional in any way, so while they are stalkers, they’re both resolutely sympathetic in their portrayal (even if their actual stalking is seen as over-the-top). ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/23 "2014-08-06T20:13:11Z")
The general assumption these days is that if it’s not love at first sight, it’s stalking. A woman can’t have a bad first impression of a man, but change her mind as time goes by, and God forbid a man try to overcome a bad first impression. So essentially, if you ask a woman out and she says no, you must never, ever try to do it again or risk being labeled a stalker. I’ve seen cases where teens were very worried about even talking with someone they had a crush on because they were afraid they’d be accused of stalking. In most movies, the assumption is that the man made a bad first impression, or there was some other hindrance that prevented him from getting together with the woman. It’s usually portrayed as charming and generally respectful, and the point is trying to have the woman – who is at least partly open to getting together – see that there is more to you than your first impression. This is a basic element of many screwball comedies – **Bringing Up Baby, His Girl Friday, The Awful Truth, It Happened One Night** , for instance. In **Bringing Up Baby** , Katherine Hepburn tries all sorts of tricks to get Cary Grant to notice her. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/24 "2014-08-06T20:58:58Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > In most movies, the assumption is that the man made a bad first impression, or there was some other hindrance that prevented him from getting together with the woman. It’s usually portrayed as charming and generally respectful, and the point is trying to have the woman – who is at least partly open to getting together – see that there is more to you than your first impression. This is a basic element of many screwball comedies – **Bringing Up Baby, His Girl Friday, The Awful Truth, It Happened One Night** , for instance. In **Bringing Up Baby** , Katherine Hepburn tries all sorts of tricks to get Cary Grant to notice her. Hmm, would **My Man Godfrey** count? Irene hires Godfrey to work in her home, does everything possible to manipulate him, and at the end \ shows up at his house with every intention of marrying him and moving in (whether he wants to or not, or even knows it’s happening). Still a great movie, though. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/25 "2014-08-06T21:56:54Z")
In _The Graduate_, Katherine Ross learns Dustin Hoffman had an affair with her mother. This upsets her so much she breaks up with him and flees from Pasadena to Berkely. Hoffman follows her there, where his encounters with her leave her so upset Hoffman’s landlord threatens to evict him. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/26 "2014-08-06T22:28:36Z")
> [@SaharaTea](#): > > **Bed of Roses** - Christian Slater becomes obsessed with a woman he’s never met; starts watching her through her window and sending her hundreds of bouquets of flowers from a “secret admirer.” > … This was the movie I first thought of, but this description is wrong. Slater sees Mary Stuart Masterson crying in her apartment and later delivers flowers to her work. After that bit of stalking, he admits the flowers are from himself, and they proceed with an otherwise normal relationship. The hundreds of bouquets come when he’s trying to win her back after some oblicatory strife. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/27 "2014-08-06T22:46:31Z")
I don’t know if _50 First Dates_ counts, but it’s 100 different kinds of wrong. Also, in _The Awful Truth_, and _His Girl Friday_, you had divorcing/divorced couples getting back together.And what Irene Dunne did at Cary Grant’s fiancee’s parents’ house, [besides being the funniest 6:39 minutes of any movie, ever,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJLAMVibq_Q) was not what Emily Post would recommend, but it wasn’t stalking. ---
**Author:** ![Hermione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Hermione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/28 "2014-08-07T00:00:29Z")
About **Big Fish…** …the scenes at the end, when we see a tall man (but not a giant) and two Asian twins (but not Siamese ones) at Edward’s funeral, hint that there was some core of truth to Edward’s stories, but much exaggerated. So we don’t know if his romance with his wife really involved that much “stalking”. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/29 "2014-08-07T02:30:07Z")
Fair point, **Hermione**. I was just presenting the scene as relayed by Edward. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/30 "2014-08-07T02:44:32Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > This was the movie I first thought of, but this description is wrong. Slater sees Mary Stuart Masterson crying in her apartment and later delivers flowers to her work. After that bit of stalking, he admits the flowers are from himself, and they proceed with an otherwise normal relationship. The hundreds of bouquets come when he’s trying to win her back after some oblicatory strife. Could someone provide a single legal cite that this qualifies as stalking? Hell anywhere on earth? Man sees woman upset and crying, arranges for anonymous flowers to be delivered to her office. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/31 "2014-08-07T03:52:40Z")
In _Victor/Victoria_, King Marchand becomes obsessed with the title character to the point of sneaking into her hotel room, hiding, watching her bathe… all to reassure himself that she’s actually a woman impersonating a man impersonating a woman. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/32 "2014-08-07T03:56:35Z")
The post-breakup scenes in **Valley Girl** has Nicholas Cage acting as his hammy best! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/33 "2014-08-07T12:13:14Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Aladdin. Uses multiple wishes to pass himself off as a prince so that he can get the girl. I don’t get Aladdin as a stalker, either. Yes, he becomes a prince, but that’s because he knows that Jasmine is not allowed to date a commoner. They’d already hit it off before all that. And that’s only one wish, since the second wish is to be saved from drowning and the third is to free Genie. Now, maybe some other versions of Aladdin have him be a stalker, but not the Disney version. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/34 "2014-08-07T14:05:13Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > In _The Graduate_, Katherine Ross learns Dustin Hoffman had an affair with her mother. This upsets her so much she breaks up with him and flees from Pasadena to Berkely. Hoffman follows her there, where his encounters with her leave her so upset Hoffman’s landlord threatens to evict him. And then he stalks her **to her wedding**. . . and then . . . ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/35 "2014-08-07T16:52:04Z")
In _French Kiss_, Meg Ryan tries to stalk her ex-fiance, but gets distracted by Kevin Kline. In the Disney movie, Aladdin’s courtship of the princess is much less creepy than in the original folktale. In the book, she is engaged to marry another man before she even meets Aladdin. Aladdin’s treatment of his rival is just slightly short of homicidal. But, hey, it’s True Love, so all is forgiven. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/36 "2014-08-07T16:59:58Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Aladdin. Uses multiple wishes to pass himself off as a prince so that he can get the girl. > > . One wish. And it’s not stalking as it’s only a ploy to be able to even talk to her. Superman Returns- creepy stalking of the first order. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/37 "2014-08-07T17:42:11Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Beauty & The Beast. Kidnaps Belle’s father to force her to live with him. Not quite. The beast imprisons the father because the father trespasses. Belle offers to be the prisoner so her father can go free. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/38 "2014-08-07T17:51:12Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > That’s a pretty loose definition of stalking. Anyone who goes to someone else’s house once is stalking? He’s not peering in windows, not monitoring her whereabouts, not making unwelcome advances, and not repeating a pattern of harassment. I think the bar needs to be a bit higher before you can call it “technically” stalking. Crazy ex-boyfriend behavior is pretty damn close. That’s not HER apartment. And he keeps calling at Godawful hours. His is monitoring her whereabouts. She has asked him to stop calling. If that’s not stalking then nothing is. The only reason a lot of these guys don’t go to jail is the understanding that ‘we’ve all been there’. edit: High Fidelity is definitely stalking, but a lot of these fall under “Creepy enough that the girl who falls in love with me doesn’t need to know exactly how I found her or what I did to win her heart.” Like FB stalking a cute friend of a friend, finding out what restaurant she works at and going to sit in her section. It’s better off for all if she doesn’t know I looked at all her pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/39 "2014-08-07T17:57:48Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > The first time I saw this scene brought up in relation to “stalking” I thought “yep, that word has lost nearly all meaning.” > > Same thing is happening to “bullying.” If my daughters EX-boyfriend, shows up at my house at 6 in the GD morning playing a boombox…he’s going to jail unless the cops I called are very understanding. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932/40 "2014-08-07T18:01:46Z")
Thirty-eight (-nine!) posts, and no one so far has mentioned Jimmy Stewart in _ **Vertigo** _?!? :eek: I wonder just how far I’d get today by following a woman into her apartment and saying “Don’t be afraid; I just want to talk to you.” Perhaps I’m missing something, but how does _ **It Happened One Night** _ fit into the stalker category? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/romance-movies-that-feature-actual-stalking/694932.md?page=3)