# Ron Jeremy's apparently in critical condition **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 30, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834 "2013-01-30T20:18:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/1 "2013-01-30T20:18:33Z")
At least that’s what the story said before they removed it. I guess the editor decided it wasn’t very newsworthy after all. I’m not going to google up a new link from work. Something about a heart aneurism. He was being prepped for surgery as I read the story minutes ago. I know you’re all waiting with bated breath. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/2 "2013-01-30T20:19:55Z")
[Here’s an article following the situation on TMZ.](http://www.tmz.com/2013/01/30/ron-jeremy-hospitalized-aneurysm-porn-star/) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/3 "2013-01-30T20:20:56Z")
Get well soon, Hedgehog! We’re all pulling for you. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/4 "2013-01-30T21:03:53Z")
Sounds like he could use a few [del]tugs[/del] hugs. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/5 "2013-01-30T21:18:42Z")
I think Ron would appreciate it if we all got down on our knees for him. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/6 "2013-01-30T21:24:00Z")
Sorry if this sounds insensitive, but has he filled out an organ-donor card? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/7 "2013-01-30T21:29:23Z")
He’s gonna need an extra transfusion, in case he finds one of the nurses attractive. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/8 "2013-01-30T21:31:31Z")
He’s “only” a 9 incher? With all the hubbub about him, I expected him to be at least well over 10. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/9 "2013-01-30T21:36:07Z")
It’s not the quantity, it’s the quality. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/10 "2013-01-30T21:55:19Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > He’s “only” a 9 incher? > > With all the hubbub about him, I expected him to be at least well over 10. Actually 8.5, when they were measured by _Screw_ magazine. His rival John Holmes was 8.75. Holmes’s nickname for Jeremy was “Little Dick”, and Jeremy called Holmes “Pap Smear” (as in “what the hell is that extra quarter inch good for?”) Seriously, neither man’s penis could fit into a vagina - each had to hold their hand around the base of it both for support and to avoid injuring the woman. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/11 "2013-01-31T00:15:30Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > It’s not the quantity, it’s the quality. And on a serious aside, Ron’s longevity in porn had to do with that he could be counted upon to be a reliable performer (including even acting, if so required). As with the ounces used to weigh gold, the Porn Inch is a different unit of measurement than the standard inch :rolleyes::D. Of course, porn actors could choose to go metric: _“He’s swingin’ 19.5!” “She’s the girl with the 118 bust!”_ Hang in there, Ronnie – who the heck are all the TV shows going to call when they need to interview a male “porn star” if you’re gone? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/12 "2013-01-31T00:26:43Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > He’s “only” a 9 incher? > > With all the hubbub about him, I expected him to be at least well over 10. > [@Kimballkid](#): > > It’s not the quantity, it’s the quality. Rather, it’s not the length, it’s the girth. > [@gaffa](#): > > Actually 8.5, when they were measured by _Screw_ magazine. His rival John Holmes was 8.75. Holmes’s nickname for Jeremy was “Little Dick”, and Jeremy called Holmes “Pap Smear” (as in “what the hell is that extra quarter inch good for?”) > > Seriously, neither man’s penis could fit into a vagina - each had to hold their hand around the base of it both for support and to avoid injuring the woman. A woman’s [vagina](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina#Sexual_activity) is only sensitive near the entrance, anyway – what’s the point of being long enough to hit the cervix? (Unless you’re filming porn, of course, then visuals are more important than anything else.) > [@](#): > > The concentration of the nerve endings that lie close to the entrance of a woman’s vagina (the lower third) can provide pleasurable sensation during sexual activity when stimulated in a way that the particular woman enjoys. However, the vagina as a whole has insufficient nerve endings for sexual stimulation and orgasm,[15][16][17][18] which is considered to make the process of child birth significantly less painful.[16] The outer one-third of the vagina, especially near the opening, contains the majority of the vaginal nerve endings, making it more sensitive to touch than the inner two-thirds of the vaginal barrel.[16][17][18] ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/13 "2013-01-31T01:22:24Z")
a true talent. he even drove himself to the hospital at 3AM. get well Ron, things are looking up. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/14 "2013-01-31T01:23:56Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > a true talent. Known as “the hardest-working man in show business,” and who would argue? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/15 "2013-01-31T02:17:13Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Known as “the hardest-working man in show business,” and who would argue? With or without the hyphen. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/16 "2013-01-31T02:30:34Z")
I think all the girls he worked with lost their hyphen long before. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/17 "2013-01-31T02:55:26Z")
I think there’s a movie title in this, somewhere. Something with “Nurses” in it? Nah, it would never sell… ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/18 "2013-01-31T02:59:03Z")
Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be all right once the hot looking nurses come in to give him a sponge bath. I’ve seen enough movies to know how these things usually turn out. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/19 "2013-01-31T03:07:20Z")
According to the update at **Bob Ducca** ’s link, the surgery went smoothly and Jeremy is now “resting in complete privacy with no visitors”. Yeah, we know what _that_ means. 😉 Feel better soon, Ron. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834/20 "2013-01-31T03:19:55Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > According to the update at **Bob Ducca** ’s link, the surgery went smoothly and Jeremy is now “resting in complete privacy with no visitors”. In his case, they need to add, “And your own mouth counts as a visitor, Ron!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ron-jeremys-apparently-in-critical-condition/648834.md?page=2)