# Ronald, if you take away my McRib I'm going to beat you until you bleed ketchup! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 12, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764 "2005-11-12T21:18:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/1 "2005-11-12T21:18:57Z")
So I’m driving by my local Golden Arches and I saw three words on the sign that sent a dagger of ice into my cholesterol-choked heart: “McRib Farewell Tour.” NOOOOOOOOOO! It’s bad enough that you took it off the menu as a full-time item and bring it back only for tantalizingly brief periods, but now you’re threatening to send it the way of the McDLT? This is intolerable. It’s not like I’m going to switch to any of your paper-thin carageenan-spiked “burgers” just because you’re ripping my beloved away. There are too many places to get a GOOD burger in this town. But never again to sink my teeth into bun, onion, and tender boneless pork and feel my eyes roll so far back that I can see the barbecue sauce squirting out of both corners of my mouth at the same time? Intolerable. I can only hope that this is a “farewell tour” like the ones Cher does. In the meantime I’m going to respond to your cruelty by pounding down as many McRibs as I can, and when they’re gone, so am I. You McBastards. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/2 "2005-11-12T21:27:13Z")
Heh. When I was a teenager working at McDonald’s, I HATED McRibs. They were messy as hell and a bitch to prepare. Loved the sauce, though. Fry-dippin’ time! Mmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/3 "2005-11-12T21:35:43Z")
of course, the real question is what was the McRib _actually_ made of?, i’m thinking it had to be some injection-molded petroleum based compound (Bondo?) injected with simulated artificial porklike flavouring… heck, i’m no vegetarian and i found them disgusting, just the general…consistency of the “meatlike product” \ but hey, if _you_ like 'em, great, you can eat all the ones i never did… some things just seem…wrong coming from the Golden Arches, the McRib, the McLobster (there’s two words that _never_ seemed to go together, McDonalds, and Lobster…) ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/4 "2005-11-12T21:36:54Z")
> [@Chef Troy](#): > > So I’m driving by my local Golden Arches and I saw three words on the sign that sent a dagger of ice into my cholesterol-choked heart: “McRib Farewell Tour.” Wasn’t that an episode of The Simsons? Homer becomes a dead-head-like groupie following the McRib around, with other McRib groupies? Almost misses Lisa’s spelling Bee? Could this fate fall to you Chef Troy? Or should I call you Chef Troy _Mclure_??? ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/5 "2005-11-12T21:38:50Z")
I think it is a crock - some sort of marketing ploy. There is an official web site [www.mcrib.com/](http://www.mcrib.com/) about it. There is a petition to save the McRib on that page. Why would they can it but give you the chance to save it? My guess, there will be an overwhelming :rolleyes: show of support and McDonalds doesn’t retire the thing and they even add it to the regular menu. Is anyone else hearing Krusty say > [@](#): > > Think smaller, and more legs. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/6 "2005-11-12T21:57:57Z")
I don’t think they make these in Arizona. When I moved here from back east in the spring of 2003 they were doing their periodical McRib promotion and I ate them all the way across the country. When I got here, though, they were nowhere to be found. None of the native Arizonans I’ve talked to about the McRib have ever heard of it, and a few have even accused me of making it up! It’s weird how you just take it as a given that certain products are nationwide, and sometimes they’re not. They don’t have Mello Yello here, either. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/7 "2005-11-12T22:21:08Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Wasn’t that an episode of The Simsons? Homer becomes a dead-head-like groupie following the McRib around, with other McRib groupies? Almost misses Lisa’s spelling Bee? Yeah, and wasn’t the animal that they make the McRib out of going extinct? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/8 "2005-11-12T23:04:09Z")
McRibs suck unless you can add bacon to them (ex-McD’s employee here). ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/9 "2005-11-12T23:10:42Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > of course, the real question is what was the McRib _actually_ made of?, i’m thinking it had to be some injection-molded petroleum based compound (Bondo?) injected with simulated artificial porklike flavouring… What foolishness! The McRib meat patty is: boneless pork (Pork, water, salt, dextrose, citric acid, BHA, TBHQ). 450 calories of pork, sauce, & bun. As can be clearly seen here [http://www.dietfacts.com/html/items/27734.htm](http://www.dietfacts.com/html/items/27734.htm), on McDonald’s own website, and no doubt many others. But if you’d prefer to bask in your ignorance, well … are you sure this Board is for you? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/10 "2005-11-12T23:16:20Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Wasn’t that an episode of The Simsons? Homer becomes a dead-head-like groupie following the McRib around, with other McRib groupies? Almost misses Lisa’s spelling Bee? Come on people! It’s not the McRib, it’s the Ribwich. Homer: Three Ribwiches, please. And instead of a shake, I’d like a blended Ribwich. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/11 "2005-11-12T23:27:55Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Come on people! > > It’s not the McRib, it’s the Ribwich. > > Homer: Three Ribwiches, please. And instead of a shake, I’d like a blended Ribwich. [Pimply Faced Kid] I’m sorry sir, but we no longer have the Ribwich.[/PFK] ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/12 "2005-11-12T23:31:19Z")
Not again! First you took away my Philly Fudgesteak. And then my Bacon Balls. Then my Whatchamachicken. You monster! (OK, i’m going to stop now) ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/13 "2005-11-12T23:41:32Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > What foolishness! > > The McRib meat patty is: boneless pork (Pork, water, salt, dextrose, citric acid, BHA, TBHQ). Isn’t BHA a perservative that you shouldn’t even allow in your pets food? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/14 "2005-11-13T00:14:45Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > Isn’t BHA a perservative that you shouldn’t even allow in your pets food? It is a preservative. The rest of that sentence is GD territory. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/15 "2005-11-13T01:18:37Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > I think it is a crock - some sort of marketing ploy. There is an official web site [www.mcrib.com/](http://www.mcrib.com/) about it. There is a petition to save the McRib on that page. Why would they can it but give you the chance to save it? My guess, there will be an overwhelming :rolleyes: show of support and McDonalds doesn’t retire the thing and they even add it to the regular menu. > > Is anyone else hearing Krusty say There’s a spot on that site where you can submit McRib haiku! Here’s mine: _This little piggy Went to market and became A juicy McRib_ A little morbid, maybe, but thus we are all connected in the great McCircle of Life. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/16 "2005-11-13T01:19:58Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > McRibs suck unless you can add bacon to them (ex-McD’s employee here). Oh god, a McRib with bacon sounds REALLY good. I also have them leave off the pickles. Feh. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2005, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/17 "2005-11-13T01:22:23Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Heh. When I was a teenager working at McDonald’s, I HATED McRibs. They were messy as hell and a bitch to prepare. > > Loved the sauce, though. Fry-dippin’ time! Mmmmm… One thing I never liked in the past was the way the sauce soaked the wrapping paper all around the sandwich… if you got them to go, by the time you got home the paper would be coming apart, partially dissolved by the McRib’s sauce (“Lovingly prepared for McDonalds by Axis Chemical, maker of Happy Fun Ball”). Now they have paperboard boxes to put them in. It’s an improvement. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/18 "2005-11-13T01:26:19Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Could this fate fall to you Chef Troy? Or should I call you Chef Troy _Mclure_??? Hello… I’m Chef Troy McClure. You probably remember me from such cooking shows as _Pork Desserts_ and_Roadkill Carpaccio_… ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/19 "2005-11-13T01:31:21Z")
You’re… not an \*actual \* chef, are you, **Troy**? I mean, I could imagine a chef nursing dark fantasies about savagely assaulting Ronald McDonald. But not because the fast food chain is discontinuing one of their sandwiches. Isn’t there some a law against falsely claiming chef status? Sort of like the penalties for impersonating a law enforcement officer, or a barber? These laws are in place for a reason, **Troy**. Our civilization is based on an implied social contract, whereby we the people trust our leaders not to falsely imprison us, give us unacceptably ragged Caesar cuts, and serve us piping-hot gazpacho soup. Your disregard for these lofty principles endangers us all. Also I believe that after visiting a McDonalds on his last trip to the United States, Pope John Paul II specifically amended the Catechism of the Catholic Church to classify the McRib as a mortal sin. So you’re not only threatening your palate, but your immortal soul. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764/20 "2005-11-13T01:34:32Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > You’re… not an \*actual \* chef, are you, **Troy**? I mean, I could imagine a chef nursing dark fantasies about savagely assaulting Ronald McDonald. But not because the fast food chain is discontinuing one of their sandwiches. > > Isn’t there some a law against falsely claiming chef status? Sort of like the penalties for impersonating a law enforcement officer, or a barber? These laws are in place for a reason, **Troy**. Our civilization is based on an implied social contract, whereby we the people trust our leaders not to falsely imprison us, give us unacceptably ragged Caesar cuts, and serve us piping-hot gazpacho soup. Your disregard for these lofty principles endangers us all. > > Also I believe that after visiting a McDonalds on his last trip to the United States, Pope John Paul II specifically amended the Catechism of the Catholic Church to classify the McRib as a mortal sin. So you’re not only threatening your palate, but your immortal soul. As it happens, no, I’m not a professional chef - it’s just a nickname. I do prefer to make real, classy food most of the time, but McRibs are a holdover from my time as an impoverished college student that I’ll never exorcise completely from the dark recesses of my soul. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ronald-if-you-take-away-my-mcrib-im-going-to-beat-you-until-you-bleed-ketchup/330764.md?page=2)