# Roomate's disgusting habit...can I say something? And how? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2006, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740 "2006-04-22T11:55:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BadBadger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BadBadger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBadger)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740/21 "2006-04-24T11:08:52Z")
I feel for you. Similar situation here at work… my boss got a new secretary a while back. She clears her throat an estimated 650 times a work day (extrapolated from 5 mins). Bit like a car starting on a cold morning…Needless to say it is somewhat irritating. One coworker arranged to move office because of it. In the end I just asked her outright. Something along the lines of "err, \, I couldn’t help noticing that you need to clear your throat… " didn’t need to say anymore. Apparently she has a condition and said there is absolutely nothing she can do about it. Even though she was strangely quiet for the rest of the day. Somehow, I can ignore it now. Don’t know why, just one day it didn’t bother me. So, in short, I would suggest bringing it up (so to speak). Could have a few beers before… Now have a guy sniffing for Europe. Grrr. But, you have to do something before it drives you to nuts. Good luck. p.s. get your flat mates to back you up if necessary 😜 ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740/22 "2006-04-24T11:35:27Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > You need to start making fun of him. Make it a big joke among your roommates, and remind him of it constantly. Eventually, he’ll stop. Exactly. If you’re quite close friends then this is the best bet. Just take the piss out of him constantly. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740/23 "2006-04-24T13:07:15Z")
I always liked a solution like whapping them on the back of the head every time they do it. This is assuming you are bigger than him. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740/24 "2006-04-24T13:27:08Z")
> [@Harriet the Spry](#): > > There is a fairly flexible technique for addressing various annoying things people do. > > DESCRIBE - the situation in neutral terms. “You clear your throat a lot” > EMOTE - describe how the situation affects you “It’s loud and hard for me to concentrate.” > SUGGEST - a solution. “Would you mind going to the health center to see if it’s something medical?” (note: it may not be a cold, but could be allergies or some kind of chronic sinus thing. IANAD, but I really doubt he’s doing this just to be annoying). > CONSEQUENCES - Positive - “If you could clear that up, I’d really appreciate it.” Negative “If you can’t clear it up, maybe you should go to the restroom when you have to cough.” > > If you can master this technique, it will serve you well in life. Good luck. This works. 🆒 I used it to tell a close friend he had developed body odour. (They don’t come much socially trickier than that). The other suggested solutions in the thread tend either not to deal with the problem, or cause unnecessary offence. ---
**Author:** ![FenneF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c0e974/32.png) [@FenneF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FenneF)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740/25 "2006-04-24T15:38:20Z")
I would suggest to him that he see a doctor about it. It’s a tactful way to bring it up and it may be indicative of a bigger problem. ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740/26 "2006-04-24T16:19:57Z")
Woo! Just said something…lets hope this clears up now. I wish we were close enough friends to tease him about it, I’d do that to my real friends, but although we get along, no-one in my flat really hangs out together. So that wasn’t an option. Following the kind advice of everyone above, I took a few pre-night-out shots, bit the bullet and lurked outside the kitchen until I heard him do it (he never does it unless he’s alone in a room). He did it a few times, so I casually walked in and stood in the window/doorway balcony for a cigarette and said “That’s a pretty nasty cough you’ve got mate, have you ever smoked?” _“What…what’re you going on about?”_ he replied “_(Describe)_ You seem to have quite a lot of lung-butter to get rid of, have you been to the doctor about it? _(Emote)_ It sounds like it’s stopping you from sleeping, which has woken me up a couple of times! \*(Suggest - With caring) \* My brother had the same once, turned out to be Bronchitis _(well, it didn’t, but it sounds like a better example this way)_. You might want to get that looked at…are you registered at a Doctor near here, because I can give you the details of mine if you want. \*(Consequences) \* I hope you get it sorted out buddy, dont want you ending up with emphysemia if you dont get it looked at!” It was something along those lines. He looked a little embarrassed, mumbled something like “yeah ok” and changed the subject. I think this might stop being such an issue. Thank you all for your help and suggestions! ---
**Author:** ![BadBadger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BadBadger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBadger)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740/27 "2006-04-25T14:27:35Z")
Cool. Here’s to a good nights sleep! ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740/28 "2006-04-25T15:07:31Z")
That was the perfect way to approach it. Casual, with concern for him. Good job. What were the shots of? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740/29 "2006-04-25T21:38:59Z")
> [@FilmGeek](#): > > That was the perfect way to approach it. Casual, with concern for him. Good job. What were the shots of? 🙂 A nice 10-year single-malt I’ve had for a while now. I got it as a present from my brother for being (one of) his best man (men). Save it for special occasions, or when I need to gain courage quickly! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roomates-disgusting-habit-can-i-say-something-and-how/353740.md?page=1)