Your name is MonkeyMan and you’re complaining about his smell?
::ducks and runs::
You better run. Monkeys are known to throw feces when aggravated.
I’m still trying to forget the idea of anyone storing jars of urine…(shudder)
Really, this isn’t a problem, Monk. Just state that the perfumey stuff bothers you. Don’t complain; don’t explain. Just lay it out straight: that stuff bothers you.
Honestly, you don’t have to footnote it, devise elaborate excuses, go through contortions to reach a goal–just say you don’t like it. You live there, you pay part of the rent, you don’t have to make excuses or explain. Odds are, ain’t that big a deal to the Mad Perfumer. If it is that big a deal, then consider parting ways.
Not to dump cold water on your courtesy or restraint, but seems to me a little plain, courteous speech may solve the problem. If your roomie insists on the perfume, then you need another roomie.
But–koff!–if your preference is “old socks, old garbage and old food” maybe there’s room for compromise? Maybe, oh say, you pick up the festering socks and gray undies from underneath the table in exchange for ditching a few incense sticks?
Just a suggestion.
Veb
Jugs of Piss - good band name.
I don’t think my garbage men ever forgave me for dumping them all in the trash barrel. There were a whole lot of them. I had to make a few trips. I just think he was to darn lazy to get up and to take a leak in the bathroom just 11 feet beyond his door. I might not have been real surprised to find maybe one, but so darn many was a real stunner!
Back to the OP.
Did you two share a single room or each have your own bedroom? If you each had a room, you could have simply asked him to restrict the scents to in there and then asked him if somethng you did smelled? Sometimes, people don’t notice scents that really bug others. Like, I wore a colonge that I thought smelled nice on me, but came to find out others thought it reeked! I got rid of the stuff.
TVeblen, GTO et al - you folks don’t seem to understand that I want to resolve this situation is a as immature a manner as possible or not at all.
And no, though I prefer the “natural” odors of socks etc., neither my room nor the apartment smell of this.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go inject my sleeping roommate with the plague. That’ll teach him!
“inject my sleeping roommate with the plague” - On second thought, throwing feces does have a certain appeal. Plus, feces is much easier to obtain* than the plague.
*intentionally avoiding the phrase “get one’s hands on” for the sake of decency. No reason to mar a perfectly good feces flinging, plague injecting, urine collecting discussion with potty humor.
Ohhh… You want immature. That I can do.
Simple. Stop bathing. That’ll fix him.
When he’s using a particular scent, say that it reminds you of an extremely painful and personal memory and proceed to have a complete and total emotional breakdown, and completely unburden yourself to him. Repeat this every time a new scent is used.
Start dipping his tooth brush into the scented oils.
Remember those jars of urine? Start your own collection. Claim you only belive in using “natural scents for oils”.
Make your own scented candles, out of earwax. Sneak into your roommates room at night with a q-tip. When he wakes up, claim you only needed a bit more, and you were sure he wouldn’t mind contributing to you efforts.
If I think of anymore, i shall post them (see, sleep deprivation is good for something)
“Sneak into your roommates room at night with a q-tip”
Finally someone offering a realistic solution!
Count the number of different scents. Slap him that many times. Hard.
Drink lots of beer, eat lots of beans and fart at every opportunity. Loudly. In his room. And say, “serves you right, asshole.”
Piss on his bed.
How about saying “I’m a big fan of those scented oils you have, and I’m getting bigger”, then wink at him and go into your bedroom.
Sorry. I’m still stuck on this mental image. I have this picture of a huge flotilla of jellyfish floating menacingly off the coast of New York City. I’m going to have weird dreams tonight.
Welcome to my world. Try not to trip on the purple elephant. 
But as far as the roomie goes, maybe he he should’ve gotten one of these.
Stadium Pall!!!
Do you guys try to find every weird site on the web or is it a natural gift? BTW, in medical circles, those are called urosheaths. Been around for years.
Want to ‘piss’ him off? Save some pee. Pour it into a pot you don’t want anymore and bring it to a boil on the stove. Tell him you’ve decided to join him in his quest for ‘natural’ scents.
I boiled pee once – outside – trying to determine if testosterone crystals really would form on the sides of the pot. I never found out. The stuff reeked! Then I discovered that I’d have to boil down something like 200 gallons of male human urine in order to get something like a milligram of the hormone – provided I could separate it out of all of the other crystals forming from ureic acid.
200 gallons!
I decided that I was not up to the job and certainly was not going to ask my neighbors for pee. Besides, those nearest weren’t real happy with the scent coming from my little experiment as it was.
You might want to get yourself one of those industrial filter masks. Soak the filters in cheap perfume. That might help.
No roommate is perfect. This is one case where you can quote Ann Landers’ only useful piece of advice “Ask yourself are you better off with him or without him.” If the answer is without him, pack.
I feel for you, and am anti-foofoo. My old roommate was primative, to say the least. His girlfriend got him a present; some of those little scented floating candles.
He never got the point. They are DECORATIVE. You put them in some stupid glass bowl on the table. They are not, repeat, not for covering the smell of your own shit!
I’d come home and find the bathroom sink filled with water, and three little candles burning. Uggggh.
At least your feller isn’t hiding some offensive smell.
Apricot