# Rosie O'Donnell takes a stand against algebra **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2001, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641 "2001-04-11T21:37:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dlb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@dlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dlb)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/21 "2001-04-12T11:40:48Z")
Of course, the main reason Rosie doesn’t want us to learn math is so that **we can’t tell when she’s lying**. Ol’ Rosanose is just plain tired of people being able to tell when she lets go with a whopper, like the good old reliable “43 times more likely” one. If we stop teaching people things like math and physics, then they will start believing anything that they hear on TV (in other words, anything that people like Rosie tell them). Keeping people ignorant is good business, from her point of view. We will buy what she wants us to buy, believe what she wants us to believe, and vote for who she wants us to vote for. Rosie doesn’t \*\*want[\B] us elevated “beyond that of the base”; the base is what she can control. Nice plan. But it only works if we let it work. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/22 "2001-04-12T12:17:08Z")
On that note, have you seen this week’s [Onion](http://www.theonion.com/onion3713/infograph_3713.html)? I’ve had to do detailed statistics in my last two jobs, and have gotten to the point where I can do addition in my head at about the same speed as I could type it into a calculator. Sure, I could do it the easy way…but then I’d lose the ability, and what would I do when my battery went dead? And besides, as others have pointed out, math is more than getting a result. It’s a _process_ which has applications in real life. And why do we need TV personalities, anyway? We can make computer-generated ones now… ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/23 "2001-04-12T12:21:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dlb \* > Rosie doesn’t **want** us elevated “beyond that of the base”; the base is what she can control. But doesn’t she know: All your base are belong to us. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/24 "2001-04-12T13:23:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by waterj2 \* > \*\* She has her own magazine now. \*\* Are you perhaps referring to the new magazine out there? I hear it’s a co-production of Rosie O’Donnell and Oprah Winfrey, and is called RosieOh. 😃 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/25 "2001-04-12T13:25:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\*Knowing this thing called Rosie, she will call for a complete ban of Algebra in our schools, while secretly hiring Algebra tutors for her “children”. \*\* Five minutes later, I’m STILL laughing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/26 "2001-04-12T13:56:41Z")
Why shouod we teach grammar? All computers have spell check and grammar check? Excuse me while I enter this into my computer… “75 is to 137 as 85 is to X \>ENTER\<” Hey! Nothing happened! Anybody know where I can get a copy of Algebra 5.0 for Windows? How about Algebra for Dummies? ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/27 "2001-04-12T14:46:43Z")
Hey Ben! This is a good thing, not a bad thing! Let everyone not learn math. It will just increase the demand for the ones that do. I have a job now where they pay me pretty good and I don’t even have to work that hard. I’m almost like some sort of god since I can do math stuff and talk with clients that have math questions. The weird thing is that it isn’t that hard, but they think I’m some sort of math god and nobody knows how to do it and they leave me alone. People not learning math should be encouraged!! Blink ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/28 "2001-04-12T14:54:17Z")
“Hairdos for Today’s Sexually Neutral Woman!” Now that’s a classic. I have two shameful things to admit: I hate math. I really hate it. Literature and art have always made much more sense to me. I’m not a particularly logical thinker, and I would much rather read a book than solve an equation with two variables… …which is _exactly_ why I take math classes. If I didn’t, the little itty bitty Logic portion of my brain would completely lose control, and I would be found wandering the streets at 4am trying to find an open McDonald’s. Not logical! you’d exclaim. Where’s your common sense? Well, I’d reply, Rosie got hungry and ate it all, that fat bitch. The other shameful thing: I used to like Rosie. The first and second season were great, IIRC. Then I went away to college and stopped watching tv. I came home and kept not watching it. Two years after my last Rosie show, I saw it again and it truly sucked. I’m not entertained by seeing her canoodle with her rich celebrity friends, laugh onoxiously at her own stupid jokes, or talk about her children. Spare me. I still like Oprah, however. Dr. Phil is one badass motherfucker. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/29 "2001-04-12T14:55:47Z")
Screw you, **BlinkingDuck**!! This whole thread has given me extra impetus to make a quick summer jaunt up to Mama O’s house, get my high-school math books out of the basement, and start up re-teaching myself algebra, trig, and even calculus! Nothing will stop me now! Muhahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa! All your base (binary, octal, hexadecimal) are belong to ME! ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/30 "2001-04-12T19:03:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\*I still like Oprah, however. Dr. Phil is one badass motherfucker. \*\* No shit, huh? I loved the one where Oprah said “Well some women can eat as much as they want and not gain weight” and Dr. Phil said: “Yeah, but THAT AIN’T YOU!” In our area the Oprah show follows Rosie and you run the risk of accidently seeing the end of Rosie if you tune in too early. Arrrgh! It’s like some sort of horrible bizarro time warp contrast. Rosie will be finishing up a segment about making toys out of toilet paper rolls, and then on Oprah it’ll be how to get into investing for retirement, or the acid attacks in Afghanistan or something. I see people lump them together often, and I can’t help but think “Come on! Night and day!” I’m still cracking up over Anthracite’s post. So true, so true. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/31 "2001-04-12T19:45:07Z")
Oh No Olentzero! Learn some nice literature instead… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@The\_Man\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_Who)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/32 "2001-04-12T19:55:03Z")
Dear Rosie, ``` The reason people need to learn math is so that if they practically chop off their fucking fingers while using a goddamn HUNTING KNIFE to open a new fishing pole for the kids, they can still figure tips if they can't use a calculator or count on those same said fingers. ``` -The Man Who ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/33 "2001-04-12T20:24:27Z")
Yeesh! Rosie O’Donnell has always annoyed me as one of the smarmiest show-biz suck-ups on the tube; unless, of course, you’re a conservative, in which case, watch out! If only Tom Selleck had heeded those words. Now she thinks we no longer need to know math because computers can solve the equations for us? What if the computer goes down or the calculator breaks, and you have to decide how many units of your company’s new product you have to sell over x months before you reach the breakeven point and present the numbers at a 2:00 meeting? [Keanu Reeves voice from _Speed_]What will you do? What WILL you do?[/KR voice] Rosie, being a good liberal, should realize that enhancing math skills is the best way for women, blacks, and Hispanics to achieve income parity with white men. And this idea of math and literature being somehow opposed to each other is just sad. Back in the day, every educated gentleman studied the _trivum_: grammar, rhetoric, and dialectic; and the _quadrivium_: arithmetic, music, geometry, and astronomy. All branches of learning complement one another. Robert Heinlein said it best: > [@](#): > > Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear > shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house. ---
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/34 "2001-04-12T22:50:13Z")
Statements like hers make me wonder if we are going the way of the Eloi. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/35 "2001-04-13T00:38:50Z")
I’d just like to say that any magazine with Rosie O’Donnell and Fran Drescher on the cover is surely the only magazine in the waiting room at the doctor’s office in Hell. Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/36 "2001-04-13T01:59:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balduran \* > \*\*Statements like hers make me wonder if we are going the way of the Eloi. \*\* You know, “Eloi” was precisely the word that came to my mind, too. Based on what I’ve read in this thread, O’Donnellogic makes a lot of sense if you assume that RoD considers something like Huxley’s “Brave New World” to be a utopia. Right now, her life centers around producing shallow entertainment and making toys out of toilet paper tubes with her kids. She probably views thought not as being a privilege, but as being an unfortunate duty- something you do only in order to earn the money you need so you can buy a TV and watch celebrities make faces and talk in funny voices on “Hollywood Squares.” The march of human progress, then, involves the gradual atrophy of the brain. With computers, math goes out the window. Given the right technology, she might actually be willing to ditch literacy skills, as people have joked here. Once the perfect government is in place, history and civics can be discarded. Have I forgotten anything? -Ben ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/37 "2001-04-13T03:14:58Z")
The problem is that we are facing a future in which we as a nation are not producing enough people with math skills to fill the needs of the burgeoning tech sector. We are producing innumerate consumers who feel good about their lack of math ability. So, we’re soon going to have to import personell heavily from other countries. Two hundred fifty million people, and we can’t produce as many competent teknikis as, say, Taiwan. It’s precisely because of computers that we need math education more than ever before. ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/38 "2001-04-13T04:11:52Z")
I don’t know what your problem is with Rosie O’Donnell. She represents a strong female figure, a kind which is grossly underrepresented in today’s world. She is not afraid to be brazen, brassy, and unabashed. She has strong views, and it takes a strong lady to stand up to the kind of beatings she gets for expressing them. I had a tough time in my life, and I credit Rosie for getting me through it. She always brings a smile to my face with her talk of Elmo and Tom Cruise, and her lilting show tunes warm my heart. I’ve followed her every move, from Star Search through Gimme a Break to the Rosie Show. While I am busy now with school, I videotape the Rosie show every day and watch it as soon as I get home. On tough days, sometimes twice. She is my main inspiration for working to better my education. Whenever school gets me down, I just think to myself “What Would Rosie Do?” God bless Rosie and Parker, Chelsea, and Blake. I wish her success in everything that she does and a pox on you who wish for her failure. She knows what is best for her children, and if this means no algebra, then why challenge her right to raise her children as she sees fit? ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/39 "2001-04-13T04:58:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Philster \* > > How about Algebra for Dummies? > > ``` > ** > > ``` is this close enough? [http://shop.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=0BPOR7UIIF&mscssid=W6MW13NAAD7U8JQP6E40FAJLJ8CL1GFA&isbn=0070434255](http://shop.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=0BPOR7UIIF&mscssid=W6MW13NAAD7U8JQP6E40FAJLJ8CL1GFA&isbn=0070434255) ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641/40 "2001-04-13T05:20:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DoctorJ \* > \*\*I’d just like to say that any magazine with Rosie O’Donnell and Fran Drescher on the cover is surely the only magazine in the waiting room at the doctor’s office in Hell. > > Dr. J \*\* Now, now…are you forgetting about the new magazine by Mary Kate and Ashley, the Olsen twins? 😃 edwino: I can’t hear you LALALALALALALALLALALA! :: putting fingers in ears:: Actually, there’s nothing wrong with a woman expressing her opinion, except when it’s absolutely STUPID! Are you telling me you think “no Algebra” is actually a good idea? Have you seen the thread about the guy who raped his 13 year-old daughter to teach her about birth control? Maybe you think that’s a good idea too? I mean, he’s free to raise her as he sees fit, right? If Rosie ODonnell is your idea of a strong female figure, I’d rather be barefoot and pregnant. And that is saying a HELL of a lot! P.S. I did read your post 3 times searching for sarcasm or irony, but didn’t find any. I have been wrong before, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rosie-odonnell-takes-a-stand-against-algebra/61641.md?page=3)