# Roughing up the bear **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 10, 2002, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791 "2002-09-10T12:59:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/1 "2002-09-10T12:59:10Z")
Excerpted from this week’s [News of the Weird](http://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/index.html) online\*: > [@](#): > > Twice in a two-week period, what authorities believe to be the same yearling bear was roughed up by tourists in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in Tennessee because each time he had a fawn in his grasp and was about to have dinner. Floridian Michael Shaw, 38, was charged by park rangers with interfering with wildlife for kicking and roughing up the bear (even though he insisted that saving the deer was the right thing to do), and in the second attack on July 7, a group of visitors drove the bear away by pelting him with rocks (until an animal researcher in the group explained to them the way nature works). [Orlando Sentinel-AP, 7-12-02] Okay, aside from the obvious idiocy of the tourists… Does anyone think “roughing up the bear” would make a good female equivalant to “slappin’ the big-nosed Rasta man”, “roughing up the suspect”, “polishing the dolphin”, etc.? [sub]\*URL will be invalid next week, and you’ll have to go into the archives after that.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/2 "2002-09-10T13:08:17Z")
“Shaking hands with the unemployed” has always been my favourite. ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/3 "2002-09-10T15:32:02Z")
Damn. Here I was all set to make a joke about this thread being another “Euphemisim for Masturbation” thread, and it **is** a thread about that. I always like the one about the “little man in the canoe.” ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/4 "2002-09-10T20:24:12Z")
I’ve always said there weren’t enough euphimisms for female masturbation. “Petting the kitty” has always been a fave, but I think you, **Johnny L.A.** , have convinced me to switch to “roughing up the bear” 🙂 That just doesn’t sound right, does it? What the hell, I’m posting it anyway! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/5 "2002-09-10T20:32:13Z")
**lauramarlane** : Hey, any time I can help a woman with masturbation issues… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/6 "2002-09-11T11:43:07Z")
Issues?! I never said I had issues! not to sound defensive or anything… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/7 "2002-09-11T11:58:38Z")
Nothing to do with wanking but… What kind of wimpy bear gets “roughed up”? Surely a bear (great big growly thing with claws) should be in the roughing up business? Stupid lame bear. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2002, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/8 "2002-09-12T11:56:59Z")
It’s described as a yearling bear. That means it’s young, and fairly small. Which is probably why it’s going for a fawn. Also, they don’t mention what type of bear it was. I doubt it was a grizzly. It was probably a brown bear or a black bear. Those are smaller species of bear, and a young black bear would be about the size of a labrador retriever. Does that help you understand how an adult male (walking upright and looming over him) could frighten and even beat off a yearling bear? Same with a group of tourists pelting it with rocks. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2002, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/9 "2002-09-12T13:11:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Does that help you understand how an adult male could… beat off a yearling bear? _snicker_😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snugglebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snugglebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snugglebear)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2002, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/10 "2002-09-12T13:29:43Z")
\<— Look at my name. Thats what my fiance’ calls me. 😛 **Johnny LA** that last post just about killed me ! 😃 I’ve always heard ,“pettin the poodle”, & “bushwacking”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/11 "2003-10-11T17:16:50Z")
Hey, **misstee**. Here’s your female masturbation thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/12 "2003-10-11T19:02:33Z")
TOURISTS! They need to stay home! Beyond that we use **“pettin your pussy”** and sometimes it actually refers to masturbation.😃 ( we have 6 cats) or theres **playin with your button** ---
**Author:** ![Herge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Herge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Herge)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/13 "2003-10-11T19:06:19Z")
Flicking the bean? ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/14 "2003-10-11T19:29:43Z")
_The Book of Odd_ comes to the rescue once again. 😉 Sorry if these terms are crude… From the 96 terms for masturbation in general, here are a few for female masturbation: She-Bop Strum Your Clitty Stroke Yourself Play With yourself F\_X ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/15 "2003-10-11T20:28:09Z")
Roughing up the bear is a LOT more original than “Strum your Clitty”. I mean, good grief!😃 But it’s “discussing Uganda” compared to stroke/play with yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_B.Phart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Capt\_B.Phart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_B.Phart)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/16 "2003-10-11T23:35:44Z")
Comiedien Jo Brand coined the term “Gusset typist” to refer to a rougher of bears ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/17 "2003-10-12T03:02:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Twice in a two-week period, what authorities believe to be the same yearling bear was roughed up by tourists in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in Tennessee because each time he had a **fawn in his grasp** and was about to have dinner. Personally I grasping the fawn over roughing the bear. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/18 "2003-10-12T06:53:39Z")
I dated a gal who referred to it as “Meet myself in the bathroom.” ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/roughing-up-the-bear/127791/19 "2003-10-12T17:18:45Z")
Diddling Double-clicking the mouse Spending some quality alone time Showering Would roughing up the bear work for those who’re shaved? Seems to suggest a certain furriness somehow.