# Rude bastard with a dirty mouth **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 23, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090 "2004-08-23T14:45:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/21 "2004-08-23T22:42:19Z")
[hijack] My SIL used to send Mrs. Uvula a certain brand of liquid shower soap from Switzerland. The first time I opened the package: “What the hell is she sending you bottles of _douche_ for?” “That’s _shower soap,_ you asshole.” [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/22 "2004-08-23T22:49:15Z")
Oh, and **gum,** the French call it a _lavage interne_. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/23 "2004-08-23T23:43:33Z")
Whenever someone does something like that to me I always put on my best toothpaste commercial smile and wave really appreciatively. If you do it _just_ right, they get pretty damn confused. Or they just get even more pissed off. Whichever! It’s their blood pressure, not mine. ---
**Author:** ![Sharky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Sharky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sharky)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/24 "2004-08-24T03:11:04Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > Whenever someone does something like that to me I always put on my best toothpaste commercial smile and wave really appreciatively. If you do it _just_ right, they get pretty damn confused. Or they just get even more pissed off. Whichever! It’s their blood pressure, not mine. That, or blow a kiss and give them a big, juicy wink. Hangs 'em up every time. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/25 "2004-08-24T03:41:57Z")
> [@Sharky](#): > > That, or blow a kiss and give them a big, juicy wink. Hangs 'em up every time. Prom queen wave… Elbow Elbow wristwristwrist and SMILE!!! 😃 They about blow a gasket. Or the mom like “oh what a poor fool” headshake. That one really gets them too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/26 "2004-08-24T04:04:01Z")
> [@Sharky](#): > > That, or blow a kiss and give them a big, juicy wink. Hangs 'em up every time. Mm yes… reminds me of the time I was driving in a hella snowstorm and I had to pull off to the side of the road to clear the ice off my windshield wipers. From behind, travelling slowly, comes an SUV… they slow down, roll the window down, and… “get that thing out of the road!” (uh, it was. Any further out would have been the ditch) I smiled cheerily and waved “I’m fine, really, thanks for asking!” ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/27 "2004-08-24T18:26:02Z")
Oh my drol. :eek: Thanks, **Uvula Donor** and **Ethilrist** I guess my American friends were too polite to burst out laughing when we were saying “I’m taking a douche”, or “I’m douching” I wonder where the ‘bag’ comes in, though. At first I thought it was a thingy to keep your stuff dry while showering. [I know, that doesn’t make sense] _douchebag__douchebag_ \*:: savouring the word:: \* 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/28 "2004-08-24T18:41:16Z")
This reminds me of an hilarious . . . um, a hilarious . . . aw hell, a very, very funny Saturday Night Live routine. I was back in the old days, when SNL was funny. It takes place at a ball in some fancy English country manor sometime in the 18th/19th century. The porter announces each couple as they enter: “Lord and Lady Cardigan” (wearing the new-fangled sweater he has just invented); “The Earl of Sandwich” (eating, of course . . . well, you get the idea). Until finally, of course, “Lord and Lady Douchebag” are announced. General hilarity ensues. Trust me, it worked. And all I have to do to get my wife and kids to fall apart laughing is to announce, appropos of nothing, "Lord and Lady D. . . " ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/29 "2004-08-24T18:45:41Z")
I have to ask Genghis Bob. Did they try to represent it? ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/30 "2004-08-24T18:53:12Z")
hehehehe 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/31 "2004-08-24T19:06:20Z")
> [@gum](#): > > I wonder where the ‘bag’ comes in, though. In your case, [one of these things](http://www.cabelas.com/information/CampingFoodPrep/SunShower4andSunShowerEnclosure0014130/SunShower40014130511525a.html). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/32 "2004-08-24T19:13:30Z")
> [@Elenia28](#): > > I have to ask Genghis Bob. Did they try to represent it? Heh, if I remember correctly he asked for Vinegar & Water as his salad dressing. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/33 "2004-08-24T19:48:08Z")
hahahahaha 🙂🙂 Thanks for the laugh, **Jeff Olsen** _[the thing is enough for four showers?]_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/34 "2004-08-24T19:57:05Z")
I was driving to work down a road that has one lane each way and in that stretch, the lanes are a bit tight, plus there’s parking on each side in that stretch, too. So I’m driving along, it’s around 5pm so there’s a steady stream of cars. One of those smallish trucks (like gardening companies use) was parked on the same side of the street I was driving on, and starts to turn into the road as I’m approaching. Didn’t even signal. There’s no room to just jump into traffic so I honk. He stops for a second and then starts to try to go into the flow again so I honk again and because I’m pissed, I flip him off as I go by. I was planning to make a left at the traffic light coming up half a block away. As I’m waiting through the light to make my turn, I see the truck is a few cars behind. I know the guy is going to do something as he passes but I had no idea it would be the following. He came up on my right side to go around (like everyone else), but slowed the car down enough to yell this from his window: _“Stick your finger up your fuckin ass you fuckin cunt-whore!”_ I was so shocked I couldn’t do anything but laugh to myself. I still can not believe someone actually said that to me. I also know he could have done MUCH worse, like cause damage to the car or me, so I’ll settle for what did happen. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090/35 "2004-08-24T20:23:52Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Heh, if I remember correctly he asked for Vinegar & Water as his salad dressing. “Here now, Douchebag, out with it. What kind of invention are you sitting on?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-bastard-with-a-dirty-mouth/261090.md?page=1)