# Rude...overweight people **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025 "2004-04-08T20:34:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Innanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecd19e/32.png) [@Innanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Innanna)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/61 "2004-04-09T08:25:42Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > So does Illinois. I haven’t had an Ohio license for years but they used to require it as well. Ohio still does. I haven’t weighed myself in years, so I just shoot for a number that won’t make the BMV lady snort, make a comment or giggle. Seems to work. ---
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/62 "2004-04-09T11:13:03Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] Actually, I agree with the OP. Rudeness is rudeness, and it’s perfectly legit to rant about rude comments on your size, whether that size is big or little. The word “skinny” is NOT a complimentary word: it’s one step above scrawny. TY I have been called scrawny and sickly. It is not complimentary at all. I just wish people thought before they spoke ---
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/63 "2004-04-09T11:17:07Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > So it pisses you off that people get all worked up whenever someone feels they have the right to comment on someone else’s weight? Followed by eight paragraphs of ranting of how rude it is to comment on how skinny you are? Am I missing something? Yes…You missed the point They have a every right to defend themselves. I just wish the same people who DONT want to be put down Would not put down others ---
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/64 "2004-04-09T11:25:32Z")
I spent a couple of decades being so thin I would not wear short-sleeved shirts because my arms were like sticks. I ate whatever I wanted to and I never gained, although I dearly wished to because I hated having the figure of a scarecrow. Now, being many pounds overweight and having a horrible time trying to become at least somewhat more healthy, I would gladly be a stick person again. Been there done that Shorts too. MIL was the worst of anyone Even telling my 20+year old daughters for as long as they can remember Your mother has a sickness Thanks for the welcome. Sorry for the hard to read post ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/65 "2004-04-09T11:29:55Z")
> [@AntaresJB](#): > > A question, ignoring for the moment the OP’s circular logic and brain-hurting typing style… Is there some place where they actually put your weight on your driver’s license? In PA, the only physical characteristics that are listed are height and eye color – things like hair color and weight seem to me to be far too easy to change. I’m honestly curious, do they include weight on DL’s in other states? Circular logic? How is not calling someone fattie OR skinny that ::::::: rolling eyes ::::::: I have respect for ALL people and just want the same thing in return And in Ohio they do ask for weight ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/66 "2004-04-09T13:01:50Z")
> [@kung fu lola](#): > > Waaah! Waaah! I’m 5’7" and under 120 pounds! Feel sorry for poor little me! Waah Waah! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! :rolleyes: Yeah, fuck off, **lola**. Don’t project your issues on other people, and just because you think that being thin would be the shiznit doesn’t mean you know what you’re talking about. And I must say that every time someone makes fun of the OP’s punctuation, it gets that much fucking funnier. What **Larry Mudd** said --“What’s sauce for the skinny goose is fucking well sauce for the foie gras, as far as I’m concerned”–is just about right. People are very sensitive about every possible aspect of their body, and it’s no more legit to be sensitive about being fat than to be sensitive about being thin. And it’s rude to make personal comments about a person’s physique, especially when it’s in the form of a backhanded compliment. As a downright scrawny guy, I can tell you that these backhanded compliments exist; I can only imagine how much worse it’s gonna be for a woman, when women’s bodies are so much more the object of judgment in our culture. So back off. Have a little respect. And please, please, PLEASE keep on with the hi-larious jokes about the punctuation in the OP. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/67 "2004-04-09T14:40:19Z")
Since I’ve lost over 100 pounds through surgery, I’m now on both sides of the “Offenderati”. I used to joke about skinny people and took potshots at Calista Flockhart, Lara Flynn Boyle, etc. and now that I’m “skinny” (5’2" and 110 pounds), I get comments about my weight more than when I was fat. My Aunt D is the worst. She will come up to me, touch my collarbone and say, “Ewwww.” She’s had conversations with other family members about my weight. She’s always saying, “Stop losing weight” as if I could control it (I have levelled off now, BTW). I had to tell her that my weight was no longer a topic of conversation. My brother asked me if I was going to start dressing like a whore now, but that wasn’t so much mean as it was, well…stupid. Friends and acquaintences are much nicer. My friends say, “Wow, you’re skinny!” with a positive tone to their voices, rather than saying it with a wrinkled up nose, like I’m the cryptkeeper. A perfect stranger once said to me (as I had trouble opening a heavy door), “Here, I’ll get that. That door weighs more than you!” That made my year! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/68 "2004-04-09T14:44:39Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > :rolleyes: Yeah, fuck off, **lola**. Don’t project your issues on other people, and just because you think that being thin would be the shiznit doesn’t mean you know what you’re talking about. Sorry, **Lola** –this was ruder than necessary. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/69 "2004-04-09T15:01:16Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > It is true that most of the time when people comment on thinness, they are actually intending it as a compliment, especially if they themselves are overweight. They’re most likely speaking out of envy. I can almost guarantee you they’re saying it out of envy. I’ve lost 146 lbs. and one of the women I work with regularly tells me “I hate you” when I walk by her in the hallway. I always say “But I love you!” She means it as a compliment, although to someone who’s always been thin and doesn’t have the mindset I used to have as a heavy person, it certainly doesn’t sound that way. I used to be guilty of telling people “You’re so thin! I’m jealous.” But I always tried to make them aware that I was envious and wished I was built the same way, instead of trying to make them self-conscience about their weight. > [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > Since I’ve lost over 100 pounds through surgery, I’m now on both sides of the “Offenderati”. > > I used to joke about skinny people and took potshots at Calista Flockhart, Lara Flynn Boyle, etc. and now that I’m “skinny” (5’2" and 110 pounds), I get comments about my weight more than when I was fat. My Aunt D is the worst. She will come up to me, touch my collarbone and say, “Ewwww.” She’s had conversations with other family members about my weight. She’s always saying, “Stop losing weight” as if I could control it (I have levelled off now, BTW). The only thing that _does_ bug me now that I’m thin - people insisting that I’ve lost enought weight and must stop losing. I agree that I’ve lost enough - I’ve reached my goal. But I’m not _trying_ to lose anymore - if it happens, it happens. Its none of your damn business if I do or don’t lose anymore. (They’re just curious and I understand that. But I find it annoying that they’re giving me advice when they’ve not been through it themselves.) > [@AntaresJB](#): > > A question, ignoring for the moment the OP’s circular logic and brain-hurting typing style… Is there some place where they actually put your weight on your driver’s license? In PA, the only physical characteristics that are listed are height and eye color – things like hair color and weight seem to me to be far too easy to change. I’m honestly curious, do they include weight on DL’s in other states? Funny thing about my DL - my old DL had my weight listed as 155 lbs - when I got it at the age of 16, I was probably 180 and lied. Everytime I renewed (as I inched my way up to 280) I just never changed it. My new DL still has my weight listed as 155 lbs - now I weigh 136! Heh heh. That makes me feel good. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/70 "2004-04-09T15:12:19Z")
Yeah, I’m not super-skinny or anything, but I get tired of people saying stuff like, “Oh, you’re so lucky to be thin…” I’m not “lucky,” I work out and I eat right. Luck has absolutely nothing to do with it. I work damn hard to look like this. Shit, I hate the freaking elliptical machine as much as anyone could, but I do it anyway. Fine if you don’t choose to do it, but don’t tell me I’m lucky!! ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/71 "2004-04-09T15:51:17Z")
> [@Sandi7001](#): > > Been there done that > Shorts too. > MIL was the worst of anyone > Even telling my 20+year old daughters for as long as they can remember > Your mother has a sickness > Thanks for the welcome. > Sorry for the hard to read post ☹ What is MIL? I am glad to see you have learned about the elipses and the over use of punctuation marks, but it might be helpful not to keep hitting enter (or use word wrap). Reading the above post makes the reader feel like they keep banging into a wall everytime they start to walk forward. > [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > And I must say that every time someone makes fun of the OP’s punctuation, it gets that much fucking funnier. I was actually surprised when she came back and replied. I had thought the post was a wonderfully humorous and ironic semi-poem and that the people who were responding to it literally were being whooshed. It seemed that the punctuation jokes were just playing along with the initial humor. I wonder if they, as I, were whooshed into thinking it was a whoosh. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/72 "2004-04-09T15:59:41Z")
> [@sperfur](#): > > The only thing that _does_ bug me now that I’m thin - people insisting that I’ve lost enought weight and must stop losing. I agree that I’ve lost enough - I’ve reached my goal. But I’m not _trying_ to lose anymore - if it happens, it happens. Its none of your damn business if I do or don’t lose anymore. (They’re just curious and I understand that. But I find it annoying that they’re giving me advice when they’ve not been through it themselves.) Oh yeah. One time while my aunt was telling me to stop losing weight and just start eating (duh! why didn’t I think of that!), she said I looked anorexic. I was really offended by that statement and as a formerly fat person who used to use such terms, I finally understood that it’s just as hurtful as being called ‘fatty’. **flight** , MIL=Mother in Law ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/73 "2004-04-09T16:29:28Z")
> [@Sandi7001](#): > > Yes…You missed the point > They have a every right to defend themselves. > I just wish the same people who DONT want to be put down > Would not put down others I’m only referring to the first sentences of your OP, where you complain that every time someone on the board says something derogatory about fat people, many posters rush to their defense. This seems like an odd thing to complain about, since your mian point seems to be that it’s rude to make critical comments about other people’s appearance. So, unless the same fat people being defended in those threads have mocked you for being skinny, your comments (quoted above) make no sense. And, incidentally, while it’s just as rude to criticize someone for being too skinny as for being too fat, it really is harder to be fat than thin. The core message of “I’m jealous of you” is simply a lot less painful than “you are disgusting”. (I’m a tall, skinny guy who used to be freakishly skinny growing up, so don’t tell me I don’t know what you go through.) ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/74 "2004-04-09T16:43:49Z")
> [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > Oh yeah. One time while my aunt was telling me to stop losing weight and just start eating (duh! why didn’t I think of that!), she said I looked anorexic. > > I was really offended by that statement and as a formerly fat person who used to use such terms, I finally understood that it’s just as hurtful as being called ‘fatty’. > > **flight** , MIL=Mother in Law I _never_ told anyone that they looked anorexic. I did regularly tell my thin friends that they were skinny and I was jealous. Always meant as a compliment - and always stated as such, even when I was teasing them. Even now, there’s a woman in our building who’s shorter than I am but built exactly like I’d like to be. A few months ago (just when I’d reached a size 6) I asked her what size clothes she wears, so I could see just how far I had to go. She wears an 8! I was shocked and told her so - she’s so petite and lovely. I am not. I hope she took it as a compliment. I sure meant it that way. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/75 "2004-04-09T16:55:43Z")
I’ve been asked or accused of being anorexic more times than I care to remember. I’ve had people feign shock when I order a cookie or muffin and say shit like “OHMYGOD - You actually eat?!?!” Yes, asshole, I eat. It’s ignorant and rude, and no amount of snotty comments from the likes of **kung foo lola** (who, as an aside, seems to be particularly bitchy today - she called someone a “Princessy Fag” in another thread) makes it any less ignorant and rude. You want weigh less so bad you insult people who do? Lose some fucking weight then - cut off a leg if it’s so fucking important to you. ---
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/76 "2004-04-09T17:02:05Z")
> [@flight](#): > > What is MIL? > > I was actually surprised when she came back and replied. I had thought the post was a wonderfully humorous and ironic semi-poem and that the people who were responding to it literally were being whooshed. It seemed that the punctuation jokes were just playing along with the initial humor. I wonder if they, as I, were whooshed into thinking it was a whoosh. No whoosh here.Was in a down right shitty mood yesterday and decided to post. Maybe I shouldnt have. (laughing at myself) I do have to say I was surprised at the amount of remarks on the WAY I posted. I’ve posted at several message boards for years and that is the way they post. I really dont care how someone posts.Typos,punctuation whatever. I care more about what\* they are saying.Shame on me 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/77 "2004-04-09T17:16:38Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I’m only referring to the first sentences of your OP, where you complain that every time someone on the board says something derogatory about fat people, many posters rush to their defense. This seems like an odd thing to complain about, since your mian point seems to be that it’s rude to make critical comments about other people’s appearance. So, unless the same fat people being defended in those threads have mocked you for being skinny, your comments (quoted above) make no sense Yes,after rereading my post, I see how that could be taken that way. I’m GLAD they stick up for themselves and that others stickup for them also > [@Giraffe](#): > > And, incidentally, while it’s just as rude to criticize someone for being too skinny as for being too fat, it really is harder to be fat than thin. The core message of “I’m jealous of you” is simply a lot less painful than “you are disgusting”. (I’m a tall, skinny guy who used to be freakishly skinny growing up, so don’t tell me I don’t know what you go through. I’ve always been thin, expect to die thin.I do not KNOW the other side.But I can tell you I feel every bit as sorry for someone who is heavy.I know the struggle of dieting to gain weight. The nasty weight gain shakes sold at GNC and other places…Blaaaaaaa If you get cancer you will die in a month(another rude comment) ---
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/78 "2004-04-09T17:24:13Z")
> [@sperfur](#): > > She wears an 8! I was shocked and told her so - she’s so petite and lovely. I am not. I hope she took it as a compliment. I sure meant it that way. I’m sure as a friend ,she did take it as a compliment. But when in public and others say it to a person,or when said in such a manner that it is a put down ,it hurts. You know the look over, from head to foot. And the you are sooooo skinny.THAT is rude. I know these boards are read alot and I just thought if one person thought after reading my post. Shit ,I never thought it would make someone feel that way.They may think twice before saying it again. I’m sure more then a few of you have children or grandchildren.Would you want them to be hurt that way,just because they are thinner then average? ---
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/79 "2004-04-09T17:30:45Z")
> [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > Oh yeah. One time while my aunt was telling me to stop losing weight and just start eating (duh! why didn’t I think of that!), she said I looked anorexic. > > I was really offended by that statement and as a formerly fat person who used to use such terms, I finally understood that it’s just as hurtful as being called ‘fatty’. > > **flight** , MIL=Mother in Law I know of struggles with weight from both sides I have a 28 year old son, who is 335 pounds.(more then just a little overweight) One of my daughters weighs around 200, while then youngest until she had her baby was 5’7" also but weighed only 104. Now she weighs 135 and looks great.Healthy. She also was picked on all the time for being too thin.She was, but it wasnt her fault. I thank God that she gained after the birth of my granddaughter. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/80 "2004-04-09T17:34:13Z")
> [@agiantdwarf](#): > > I’m going to write a dissertation analyzing the OP. It is truly worthy of deep thought. You do that :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025.md?page=5)