# Rude...overweight people **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025 "2004-04-08T20:34:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sandi7001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sandi7001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sandi7001)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/81 "2004-04-09T17:43:59Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] I’ve been asked or accused of being anorexic more times than I care to remember. I’ve had people feign shock when I order a cookie or muffin and say shit like “OHMYGOD - You actually eat?!?!” Yes, asshole, I eat. QUOTE] I have had that said to me to many times to count. I have to tell you my favorite? “CHIRP CHIRP” like I eat like a little bird. People are cruel.It doesnt matter if you’re heavy or thin.Theres no need for nasty cute little comments.Chances are the person already knows and feels bad about themselves already ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/82 "2004-04-09T18:14:49Z")
> [@sperfur](#): > > I can almost guarantee you they’re saying it out of envy. I’ve lost 146 lbs. and one of the women I work with regularly tells me “I hate you” when I walk by her in the hallway. I know this is generally meant as a compliment, but it always makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m skinny due to adderal. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/83 "2004-04-09T18:33:02Z")
I’ve seen the following in this thread: • Lengthy hijack discussion of **Giraffe’s** testicles. • Much eye-rolling • Experienced Dopers ridiculing a relative newbie for an unorthodox posting style, and • About 1 post out of 5 actually addressed the OP instead of invalidating what I thought was a very valid rant about rudeness. I think some of you should be ashamed of yourselves. This board is about fighting ignorance. For people to think it’s acceptable to make rude comments about one’s physical appearance or _posting style_ (i.e. completely superficial crap) is simply ignorant. To ridicule someone, ignore their rant, take the thread off in another direction, then focus on the posting style is simply unacceptable. If that’s the best we Dopers can do to respond to the OP, then I will extend my apologies to the OP on behalf of everyone who has posted in this thread thus far. Since this is the pit, I must add: Some of you are just a bunch of assholes, regardless of how much ignorance you fight. That said, and to address the OP: There is nothing wrong with testing out a creative and innovative posting style. Some people just can’t adapt to change. Some of us, evidently, fear change and if we see something different… we automatically assume it _must_ be wrong. I’m sorry for these morons who can’t handle a little individuality. I think you should continue to use that posting style, so that we will all be able to immediately identify your posts without having to glance over to the left. (That was typed without the slightest intention of sarcasm. I mean it – you guys are in a rut about how posts should look. Think different, you might just learn something. And cut the newbies a break, willya? You were one once.) Regarding these comments people make: you’re right. It’s rude and it sucks. I just can’t understand why it’s not okay to rip on one group of people, but even some of our own ignorance-fighting Dopers seem to think it’s okay to rip on other groups of people. The rude comments shared above, IMHO, are akin to: “Gee, you’d be so pretty if you’d just lose some weight…” “You’re over 30 and not married yet? What’s wrong with you?” “You’ve been married for 15 years and no kids? What’s wrong with you?” “You’re so skinny, you make me sick. It’s disgusting.” (My personal favorite because it opens the door to some really ugly, sarcastic comebacks.) “Are you going to be an old maid? I hate to see you still be single… it’s such a waste.” “Do you even date anymore” “I can’t stand to see a woman smoke.” “Why don’t you find a nice (SO of the opposite sex), settle down and have some kids?” (Said to GLBTs.) Rudeness is rudeness. I suggest sitting down to brainstorm a list of snarky responses and being prepared to whip one out with no notice. There is no excuse for making inappropriate comments on people’s appearance or personal choices. Just remember that most people who make this type of comment are simply jealous and/or completely unaware of how hurtful their comments can be. Personally, I highly recommend politely pointing out exactly how hurtful and damaging these comments are. Or just ignoring them and going about your business. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/84 "2004-04-09T19:05:18Z")
> [@Sandi7001](#): > > YOU overweight people…have a lot of guts…I have to give you that… Naturally, they have lots of everything. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/85 "2004-04-09T19:09:59Z")
> [@sperfur](#): > > Funny thing about my DL - my old DL had my weight listed as 155 lbs - when I got it at the age of 16, I was probably 180 and lied. Everytime I renewed (as I inched my way up to 280) I just never changed it. My new DL still has my weight listed as 155 lbs - now I weigh 136! Heh heh. That makes me feel good. When I first got my permit (at 15) I lied 10 pounds down - which was the weight I’d was trying to get to then. (I’ve always been on a diet.) And they left it alone, until I turned 26. I went to renew, and the DOL guy called me on it. So I had to enter a new weight in. Over the past 4 years, it has been accurate for about 2 months. (It was even too high for about 4 months). This last renewal, they said nothing. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/86 "2004-04-09T19:10:43Z")
You know, a giraffe could have a nutsac the size of a lawn trash bag and it still wouldn’t drag the ground. I hadn’t thought about that till this thread. Thanks… it’s now my incarnation of choice. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/87 "2004-04-09T19:50:01Z")
> [@Sandi7001](#): > > I prefer the word THIN\* Fuck “thin.” Svelte. I have a coworker who has lost quite a bit of weight due to the stress of a divorce. She looks great. She frequently gets remarks about how she’s “too” thin and looks anorexic (sp?). :rolleyes: That’s too stupid for words. If those ignorant asshats would think for a second, they’d realize that real women do indeed have curves—but at least _some_ of them are supposed to be concave! ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/88 "2004-04-09T19:50:03Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > To ridicule someone, ignore their rant, take the thread off in another direction, \*\*then focus on the posting style \*\* is simply unacceptable. (Emphasis mine.) Yabbut, not to give a rat’s ass about punctuation is simply rude to the reader.\* Ignoring good grammar and punctuation is like saying “I have something important to say, but I’m going to scatter my message with a whole bunch of obstacles that will make it harder for you to understand my message. Oh, and I don’t care that I’m making it harder for you to read my message, because it’s \*what \* I’m saying that’s important.” I think it’s fair game to point that rudeness out to the OP, especially in a rant where she slams other people for being rude. **Spiff** - And since this is the majority opinion around here, pointing that out to the OP is doing her a favor. That is, if she’s interested in making any headway around here. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/89 "2004-04-09T20:51:46Z")
> [@ouisey](#): > > I know this is generally meant as a compliment, but it always makes me feel uncomfortable. I understand this, although I don’t feel that way myself. Its only been the last, oh, 6 months that I’ve _ever_ had anyone say these things to me. Being on the receiving end of the ‘skinny’ comments instead of the giving end is an amazing experience! I may someday tire of it like those of you that have always been thin and beautiful (by luck or by design - I’m not saying its easy for everybody), but right now I can’t imagine that happening. Its a dream that seems out of reach for many of those who are and have been overweight their entire lives. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to forget the feelings of inadequacy and self-hatred that I had when I was 40-140 lbs. overweight. I think those memories will always allow me to give leeway to those who are still struggling with their weight, no matter how annoying or intrusive their comments. I know first hand the internal pain from which those comments are generated. I don’t expect those of you who’ve never lived through that to be able (or even want) to do that. And I’m not trying to make excuses for the people who are saying these things to you. I just wanted to give you my POV. Your rant is entirely justified - some people just can’t understand because they’ve never been there. One more thing. Two weeks ago, another woman I work with brought me a pair of jeans she (or her daughter - I dunno) can’t wear anymore. Before I tried them on, I asked her what size they were. She said “Too skinny,” in a snide (joking) voice. Made my day. (The jeans fit like a glove!) For me, being ‘too skinny’ is a lifelong dream come true. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/90 "2004-04-09T21:17:11Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > I think some of you should be ashamed of yourselves. This board is about fighting ignorance. For people to think it’s acceptable to make rude comments about one’s physical appearance or _posting style_ (i.e. completely superficial crap) is simply ignorant. To ridicule someone, ignore their rant, take the thread off in another direction, then focus on the posting style is simply unacceptable. If that’s the best we Dopers can do to respond to the OP, then I will extend my apologies to the OP on behalf of everyone who has posted in this thread thus far. Settle down there, Captain Self-Righteous. The OP started off with a criticism of the way we Dopers all rush to defend fat people when someone attacks them for their appearance, before ranting about exactly the same thing. Starting a thread off criticizing other posters automatically sets you up for critical scrutiny of your own posts, especially the post which contains the criticism. If that post also contains what appears to be blatant hypocrisy/contradiction, yeah, you’re gonna get mocked. In any event, I was just playing around with **iampunha**. I really wasn’t trying to be harsh. I don’t think getting teased about an extreme overuse of ellipses and exclamation points is the worst thing in the world. It’s not like anyone was screaming obscenities at her. So save your apology on my behalf for when I’m really an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/91 "2004-04-09T21:24:13Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > You know, a giraffe could have a nutsac the size of a lawn trash bag and it still wouldn’t drag the ground. I hadn’t thought about that till this thread. Thanks… it’s now my incarnation of choice. Egad. You know, I think this is the first time I’ve ever said anything **lieu** found, um, thought-provoking. The idea terrifies me to my very core. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/92 "2004-04-09T21:56:36Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > **iampunha** , I didn’t mean the word bulk like that…it pisses me off that you’re so overly sensitive…picking apart my word choice like that… > Because you are super PC~!!! > > Not only that…but you shoudn’t talk about packages like that… > I tell everyone my package is really big. > Why??? Because I would love it if my package were really big!!! > > It hurts my feelings when you say the word “package”…without even thinking about how it makes me feel… > If I put my hand in my pants on the bus…I must be checking to see if its still there…everyone assumes my nuts are small!!! > I cant even take out my package in public without even staring at it… It’s so RUDE~!!! > I wouldn’t call you BIG BALLS if you wore really tight jeans…and sat with your legs apart… > while you were riding the bus…to go buy more cereal at the store… > because even people with small testicles…eat cereal… > > Just once I’d like to say “Your BALLS are too big~!!!” > How would you like that?!?!?!?!?!?! > > Giraffe who is SICK of rude **iampunhas** I would gladly kick you if you want bigger balls. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/93 "2004-04-09T22:53:35Z")
> [@](#): > > YOU overweight people…have a lot of guts… **HA HA HA HA HA!** Maybe think Sandi…isn’t real english with the good. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/94 "2004-04-09T22:56:23Z")
Damn you **Uncommon Sense,** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/95 "2004-04-09T23:07:43Z")
can someone direct me to the rules on how posts are supposed to be written? i read the OP with no trouble at all, understood her point and didn’t really notice her posting style until it was pointed out by all the barney fifes who continually misspell words in their posts but have to criticize anyone who writes a bit differently. oh no! i didn’t capitalize, what a stupid fucking asshole who is just trying to be different i am. dogzilla is 100% correct about some of you assholes. THIS IS A MESSAGE BOARD. PEOPLE USE SMILEY FACES AND MISSPELL AND DON’T PUNCTUATE CORRECTLY ALL THE TIME. please don’t waste my time correcting someone about their posting style. email them if it bothers you that much or report them to a moderator oh no, i forgot to put a period at the end of that last sentence. (on a message board) what a stupid fuck am i. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/96 "2004-04-09T23:22:57Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > Dammit, they really need to package those better, or something. You think _you_ have problems. I ordered one, but received something else…looks like some sort of vintage death ray or something… ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2004, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/97 "2004-04-09T23:42:05Z")
> [@djf750](#): > > oh no! i didn’t capitalize, what a stupid fucking asshole who is just trying to be different i am. So you’re still continuing your [crusade against capitalization](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=184591&page=1&pp=50) that you started when **Miller** suggested to **owlofcreamcheese** that better grammar would make his posts more readable? Impressive. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/98 "2004-04-10T00:00:42Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > So you’re still continuing your [crusade against capitalization](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=184591&page=1&pp=50) that you started when **Miller** suggested to **owlofcreamcheese** that better grammar would make his posts more readable? Impressive. thanks, i was right then and i am right now sandi, post any way you want as long as your point is clear (which it was) where is miller and his trained monkeys anyway? berating someone in another thread for their stupidity? (incomplete sentence) ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/99 "2004-04-10T00:44:55Z")
> [@djf750](#): > > sandi, post any way you want as long as your point is clear (which it was) I call Bullshit on that. We use language for a reason. Use it well, or accept that you are just another Jerry Springer guest. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025/100 "2004-04-10T01:21:35Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > I call Bullshit on that. We use language for a reason. Use it well, or accept that you are just another Jerry Springer guest. IS YOUR FIRST SENTENCE USING LANGUAGE WELL? NO, BUT I UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO CONVEY, JUST AS I UNDERSTOOD THE OP AND JUST AS YOU UNDERSTOOD MY UNCAPITALIZED POST. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-overweight-people/239025.md?page=6)