# Rude questions you wish you could ask. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 24, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226 "2013-05-24T14:39:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/101 "2013-05-31T22:00:18Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > I wonder the same thing about families with Down Syndrome babies. Not because I think DS babies should all die but I wonder, did you not test? Did you just not know, or did you know and not care? In some cases, they just don’t know. The invasive tests (amnio, CVS) can tell you for sure, but they carry a risk of miscarriage and are generally only done for high risk pregnancies. The non-invasive tests just give you odds. I have a 1 in 10,000 chance my baby has DS. It’s good odds, but now and then someone gets called on them. Sometimes people end up in heartbreaking situations. Lets say you have a 1 in 300 risk, but it’s taken you years and thousands of dollars to conceive. Do you take the 1% risk of miscarriage to know for sure, or do you take your chances? In other cases, the families are open to raising a DS child. By most accounts, Downs Syndrome children are generally happy, loving people who can bring a lot of joy into their families. Treatment has improved a lot in the past decades, and I thin the life expectancy is now 60. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/102 "2013-05-31T22:54:35Z")
I had a teacher who had a sister with Down’s, and she objected to people aborting Down’s syndrome pregnancies. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2013, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/103 "2013-05-31T22:54:37Z")
My rude questions are also judgemental questions; if I hear someone has lung cancer, I want to ask them if they’re a smoker. If I hear someone hurt themselves badly on a motorcycle, I want to ask if they were wearing a helmet (or if they were doing something stupid when they got hurt). I also frequently want to ask people if they got their driver’s licences by mail. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/104 "2013-06-01T01:04:16Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > The Hensels always seem like such normal girls (well, now women) other than being conjoined twins. They seem like the type who would marry super normal men and have super normal families, the kind you would see in an LL Bean catalog. So, I’m not sure how that’s going to work, because I think most people who would consider dating a conjoined twin would be huge weirdos. Yes, and kudos to their parents for raising them to be such normal kids, in the face of a situation that’s anything but normal. > [@jtur88](#): > > I wonder if dogs are intelligent enough to wonder how humans lick their balls. You have to be nice to the dog, then he’ll let you. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/105 "2013-06-01T02:41:01Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > I had a teacher who had a sister with Down’s, and she objected to people aborting Down’s syndrome pregnancies. I think I’ve read that most couples (like, by far) choose to terminate when faced with that decision. I wonder how she feels about the couple who won something like $3 million in a “wrongful birth” lawsuit when their kid was born with Down Syndrome despite having gone through a CVS that came back normal. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/106 "2013-06-01T04:23:25Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > I wonder the same thing about families with Down Syndrome babies. Not because I think DS babies should all die but I wonder, did you not test? Did you just not know, or did you know and not care? Or that woman who had the kid who was born with just a brain stem. Can’t hear, see, talk, move deliberately, etc. In that case, why bother? There’s a big difference between being born with just a brain stem and DS. I work for experts in the ID field, and they agree that as a group people with DS are better off than any other group of people with intellectual disabilities, at least in regards with how much they can achieve in life. Most of them fall within the mild range, and they can read and write, have a job, live with a roommate instead of a group home etc. But anyway, as for rude questions…when I hear that so-and-so lost 100 or 200 pounds, I’m not terribly impressed. I mean, I’m glad they did because it has to improve their quality of life, but I still want to know how they managed to let their weight get that out of hand, and what made them finally decide to do something about it. 10, maybe even 20 pounds, I guess that can creep up on you, but not triple digit amounts. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/107 "2013-06-01T04:51:54Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > But anyway, as for rude questions…when I hear that so-and-so lost 100 or 200 pounds, I’m not terribly impressed. I mean, I’m glad they did because it has to improve their quality of life, but I still want to know how they managed to let their weight get that out of hand, and what made them finally decide to do something about it. 10, maybe even 20 pounds, I guess that can creep up on you, but not triple digit amounts. I don’t think that overcoming an addiction is anything heroic either. (grabs flameproof suit) Yes, I know addiction is a disease, but it’s a disease you do to yourself. ---
**Author:** ![nion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nion)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/108 "2013-06-01T05:22:31Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I don’t think that overcoming an addiction is anything heroic either. (grabs flameproof suit) Yes, I know addiction is a disease, but it’s a disease you do to yourself. Agreed, but addiction is a hell of a thing. The reason I started smoking was stupid as hell: I was curious. I continued to be stupid as I continued to smoke. I’d say the effort to quit can vary widely depending on the person. I had to try multiple times, with aids (patches). My father in law had a major lung infection that nearly killed him. He got to experience being intubated, as well as the embarrassment of being on oxygen for a while afterwards. He started smoking again as soon as he was home. So yeah, we’re idiots, but addiction is no laughing matter. I’ve been smoke-free for two years and three months, and I feel like a survivor. I’m sure those who have dealt in alcoholism would tell you something similar. Obesity, to me is a somewhat different animal though. Some do suffer from eating disorders that could be construed as being “addicted to food”. I do believe there are many who do simply lack the willpower to give a damn, throttle their intake and get off their asses though. This, like so many things in life, is rarely ever one or the other. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/109 "2013-06-01T05:28:38Z")
I’ve heard about people who had bariatric surgery, and replaced overeating with some other compusive behavior - gambling, hoarding, drinking (which often led to regaining some or all of the weight), etc. I also have a friend who’s worked in the substance abuse treatment field, and she said it’s not uncommon for people to stop drinking or using drugs, and some other compulsive behavior takes over; men and women are equally likely to become hypersexual or overly religious; women are more likely to develop eating disorders, and men are more likely to gamble compulsively. I have also personally known people who deliberately became obese to get out of obligations, whether it was family responsibility, sex, or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/110 "2013-06-01T10:07:10Z")
This question’s rude as hell, but I’ve wanted to ask it many, many times. Clinton, Spitzer, Petaeus, etc. How much sex were they getting at home? ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/111 "2013-06-01T11:53:47Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > There’s a big difference between being born with just a brain stem and DS. Oh, I know, and I wasn’t trying to equate the two as much as just giving examples, in addition to the mermaid syndrome in the OP, of birth defects a couple can be aware of fairly early in a pregnancy. I’ve never been faced with such difficult decisions as “Hey, your baby is lacking a critical anatomical structure” but I’m pretty confident I would terminate if I was given any indication that the child probably would not survive infancy. My last pregnancy had some perceived anomalies that seemed to indicate DS and, of course, there was a conversation at that time but terminating didn’t seem like a necessity to me and was never really discussed as an option. So many people do terminate though that I wonder at the rationale for people who don’t. For me, I wasn’t willing to undergo invasive testing and the quad screen came back with some reassurance so we took a, “Well, whatever happens…” approach. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/112 "2013-06-01T15:37:35Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > This question’s rude as hell, but I’ve wanted to ask it many, many times. > > Clinton, Spitzer, Petaeus, etc. How much sex were they getting at home? Probably not a lot, since they put so much energy into getting it elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/113 "2013-06-01T15:55:41Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Probably not a lot, since they put so much energy into getting it elsewhere. Don’t want to start a debate here but this is absolutely wrong. People get cheated on all the time even when the sex life in the relationship is good. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226/114 "2013-06-01T18:53:38Z")
Agreed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-questions-you-wish-you-could-ask/659226.md?page=5)