# Rude ways to tell your sex partner the session is over... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2006, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330 "2006-04-19T17:31:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/41 "2006-04-20T02:12:25Z")
I noticed that my now ex wife was crying when I was hard at it. I asked her "are you crying ? " She said no, the next five minutes would have been more entertaining using my left hand. I can be a complete moron about women so ladies, please don’t jump all over me. Turns out she was cheating on me and that was the beginning of the end for us. We lasted a few more months, but it was obvious to her anyway. I needed to be hit in the head with a shovel to see it. ---
**Author:** ![HeadNinja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b4bc9f/32.png) [@HeadNinja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeadNinja)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/42 "2006-04-20T02:26:01Z")
Now that that’s over can you write me a check for your half of dinner? You’re way better than your mom. You’re not quite as good as your mom. Huh. Shouldn’t have bought the generic condom. I didn’t give you my card, did I? Did that burn for you too? Hah! fooled you. I’m a guy. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/43 "2006-04-20T02:45:25Z")
[QUOTE=McNew] “Oh- I just remembered- your mom called” [/QUOTE] It’s eerie how closely that resembles an [actual experience.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6226215&#post6226215) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/44 "2006-04-20T04:13:00Z")
As soon as I submitted the reply I thought oops. I’m sorry. 50/50 chance and I get burned. I’m slightly smarter than I look. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/45 "2006-04-20T04:30:39Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] “I hope you realize I do not give refunds”. [/QUOTE] Even better - “That was _it_? _grumble_ Well, I suppose I owe you a refund then.” ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/46 "2006-04-20T04:35:14Z")
I don’t think this is opinion so much as smart-ass remarks. Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/47 "2006-04-20T04:36:35Z")
[QUOTE=Frank] I don’t think this is opinion so much as smart-ass remarks. Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS. [/QUOTE] Frank really takes his work home with him. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/48 "2006-04-20T04:47:59Z")
So long, and thanks for all the fish. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/49 "2006-04-20T04:50:10Z")
Bolt upright and be real still and say, “Did you feel something?!” When he says, “No”, say, “Yeah, me neither.” ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/50 "2006-04-20T04:50:54Z")
Now, thanks to you, the seed of the great Xenovian Empire with continue to flourish. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/51 "2006-04-20T05:17:38Z")
“Normally I like to drink a glass of water, not fuck it.” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/52 "2006-04-20T05:42:36Z")
You know, Matt, I really think I like girls more. I know I’ve mentioned this before. I’m still bitter. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/53 "2006-04-20T05:51:39Z")
Real example from last week: “You’re lucky you didn’t order the lamb pie” Nothing like regrets over three-hours-ago’s dinner order as a choice for post-coital cooing. mm ---
**Author:** ![sniperfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@sniperfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sniperfang)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/54 "2006-04-20T07:12:38Z")
Well, it wasnt something I _said_, per se. I was moving into a new apartment, and the whole place was being renovated. The bedroom was done, air-conditioned, and the bed was in place. No curtains, though. We’re in the middle of a mind-numbingly good marathon session, and she looks out the floor-to-ceiling sliding windows and the following conversation ensues. “Eek! Someone in the building across the road could see us!” “No babe, the windows are tinted, and we have the lights off.” “I’m telling you, they can.” “Can_not_.” “Can too.” “Ok,” I say, disentangling naughty bits and getting off the bed, come out into the balcony and see." So, she gets of the bed, wraps a duvet around her, and comes out. As she steps out into the balcony, I slide the window shut behind her to prove to her that we’re protected from prying eyes. Click. Whoops. “Umm…” “What?” “You’re not going to believe this…” “What? What?” “We’re locked out.” “WHAT?” So she tugs at the windows frantically for a few minutes, getting more panicked with every passing second, cursing her luck that her doofus boyfriend has locked them both out of the house stark naked, four floors up in a balcony. I, meanwhile, am sizing up the scaffolding thats running around the building. “Hold tight, I’ll be right back.” “WHAT?” So I make like naked Tarzan onto the scaffolding, four floors off the sidewalk below, and actually monkey my way around the side of the building, naked, past my neighbor’s open windows, without any harness, to another bedroom in my apartment, prise the window open, climb in through it, and calmly walk in to the original bedroom and let her in. “Ouch!” “ARE YOU CRAZY?” “What?” “You’re fucking insane! You could have gotten killed! And I would have been left there naked in your fucking balcony!” “So what you’re saying is that you had a better plan?” What ensued was the best sex I have ever had to this day. ---
**Author:** ![MerryMagdalen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@MerryMagdalen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MerryMagdalen)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/55 "2006-04-20T09:54:39Z")
[QUOTE=Ensign Edison] That’ll do, pig. [/QUOTE] You win. ---
**Author:** ![MerryMagdalen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@MerryMagdalen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MerryMagdalen)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/56 "2006-04-20T09:59:18Z")
Um…after reading… **Sniperfang** also wins. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/57 "2006-04-20T12:32:53Z")
“There. That ought to hold you for a while.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/58 "2006-04-20T13:48:20Z")
One of my friends, who’s an anime dork of the highest order, claims to have once ended a session of bad sex halfway through by standing up, saying “Fuyutsuki, handle the rest of this.”, and walking out. (note, may not be funny to anyone who has never seen Evangelion. Or even to people who have.) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/59 "2006-04-20T14:04:03Z")
“So, you’re OK with the whole genital herpes thing, then?” ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330/60 "2006-04-20T14:13:25Z")
“Oh! I didn’t even know you were here!” inspired by my glancing over the cubicle divider a moment ago and discovering that my colleague had arrived and sat down, 5 feet a way, and I didn’t even notice! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rude-ways-to-tell-your-sex-partner-the-session-is-over/353330.md?page=4)