# Ruin a Superpower **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2021, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034 "2021-03-16T16:30:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/1 "2021-03-16T16:30:00Z")
Magic person comes to me and says, “I grant you the power of flight! Pretty cool, huh?” Uh, sure. How does it work? Like Superman, just stick my arms out and take off, or do I need to flap my arms or something? “Yeah, like Superman. Just stick your arms out.” So I can’t carry anything while flying? How do I control flight? “You have to concentrate and think about where you want to go, like driving a car.” That sounds dangerous. Get distracted, and fall to my death. How high can I fly? How fast can I go? “As high and fast as you want.” Huh. That is gonna be hard on the eyes and ears, and could be hard to breath, too. Gonna get cold, as well. Sounds like I’m gonna need a lot of special equipment. I’ll have to figure out how to carry all my ski equipment at 100 mph while holding my arms out in front of me. “Yeah, that’s on you, Man. I just give you the ability to fly.” Gee, Thanks? I would love to be able to fly, but the details in actually making it work are many and complex. This is the kind of shit I think about when bored. I need to get out more often. ---
**Author:** ![Uniqueorn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uniqueorn/32/2807_2.png) [@Uniqueorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniqueorn)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/2 "2021-03-16T16:35:05Z")
You have laser eyes. Yes, total control over it. Well, maybe be careful when you sneeze. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/3 "2021-03-16T16:39:52Z")
X-ray Vision. You are gonna see some shit you really don’t wanna see. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/4 "2021-03-16T16:48:10Z")
You have the power to stop time for everything except yourself. As soon as you do so, you are embedded in a solid block of frozen air at absolute zero. Hope you can undo it before you suffocate. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/5 "2021-03-16T16:50:31Z")
> [@Uniqueorn](#): > > You have laser eyes. Yes, total control over it. Well, maybe be careful when you sneeze. - > [@Gatopescado](#): > > X-ray Vision. You are gonna see some shit you really don’t wanna see. - Both of which instantly destroy your eyes. Super strength. Too bad your bones, tendons and ligaments can’t take the strain. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/6 "2021-03-16T17:02:29Z")
[![](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/shoes.png) ](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/shoes.png) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/7 "2021-03-16T17:06:08Z")
> [@Uniqueorn](#): > > You have laser eyes. Burn right through my glasses lenses, rendering me near blind. Have you ever heard of a super named **Blindman**? ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/8 "2021-03-16T17:10:19Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Have you ever heard of a super named **Blindman**? Daredevil? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/9 "2021-03-16T17:16:50Z")
“Iron Man” style armor suit: Yes it will protect you from certain types of physical trauma, but if you’re hurled against the side of a building hard enough, your brain will still slosh against the inside of your skull like jello inside Tupperware, causing a massive brain injury. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/10 "2021-03-16T17:27:04Z")
The real irony here is the Stick Man doesn’t have feet. ---
**Author:** ![Limmin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f04885/32.png) [@Limmin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limmin)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/11 "2021-03-16T17:32:39Z")
You have the power to become invisible. Trouble is, when your retina, lenses etc. are fully transparent, you can’t see. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/12 "2021-03-16T17:39:13Z")
Well, there’s Blindspot, though admittedly his career at Vaught didn’t last very long. > **[Blindspot](https://the-boys.fandom.com/wiki/Blindspot)** > > "You don't need super eyes when you have super ears." —Blindspot to Homelander\[src\] Blindspot is a minor character in Season Two of the Amazon series The Boys. Blindspot is a possible contender for filling Translucent's spot in The Seven. Ashley... The Boys is pretty good at ruining quite a few superpowers. For example: A-Train, their version of the flash, accidentally runs through someone in the first episode, killing her instantly. Popclaw’s super-strength accidentally kills a man during sex (she is sitting on his face and crushes his head with her thighs). Homelander kills a terrorist who hijacked a plane with his laser eyes, but also accidentally fries the plane’s controls. With the pilots already dead (killed by the hijackers) and the plane’s controls now completely ruined, there is no way to save the plane and everyone dies. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/13 "2021-03-16T17:50:43Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Both of which instantly destroy your eyes. [Lazer Pony Origin](http://superredundant.com/?comic=strip-6) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/14 "2021-03-16T17:53:20Z")
This thread is depressing. What Asshole created it? ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/15 "2021-03-16T18:23:01Z")
I always wondered about the more mundane aspects… Like if Superman has the squirts, does it act like a waterjet cutter to the toilet? If he sneezes, is an errant booger like a piece of shrapnel? Would his farts be deafening if one just slips out? ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/16 "2021-03-16T18:29:14Z")
That reminds me of the robot chicken skit… Louis lane is found dead with a hole in her head. After much ridiculousness, it’s implied she gave Clark a bj ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/17 "2021-03-16T18:30:35Z")
[Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex (rawbw.com)](http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html) ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/18 "2021-03-16T18:30:51Z")
Also addressed by Larry Niven in [Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex](http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html). Argh, ninjaed by seconds! ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/19 "2021-03-16T18:34:09Z")
The thing that occurred to me about the Flash’s powers is: Sure he can travel real fast but since he perceives things moving slowly when he’s using his powers a super speed jaunt would seem to take as much time (to him) as it would an ordinary person running that distance. And don’t get me started about him being able to stop in a femtosecond. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2021, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034/20 "2021-03-16T18:43:40Z")
Super strength- without invulnerability. Picking up heavy things would crush you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-a-superpower/938034.md?page=2)