# Ruin Shakespeare **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [June 30, 2016, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799 "2016-06-30T18:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/1 "2016-06-30T18:09:11Z")
“To be or not to be”: that is the sentence fragment. If music be the food of love, then why the hell am I still so hungry? In my salad days, when I was eating vegan. The fault, Eddie Murphy, lies not within the stars, but in our scripts. What brick through yonder window breaks? Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears at ten percent down and a fixed APR of 6.3 percent, subject to credit approval. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No. First Witch: When shall we three meet again, In thunder, lightning, or in rain? Second Witch: Let’s wait until the weather’s a little nicer. Third Apparition: Macbeth shall never vanquish’d be, until Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane hill Shall come against him. Macbeth: Gee, thanks for spoiling the ending. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/2 "2016-06-30T18:24:30Z")
Et tu, Brute? So what? I et three! ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/3 "2016-06-30T18:28:40Z")
By the pricking of my thumbs Something infected this way comes. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/4 "2016-06-30T18:59:15Z")
Such tricks hath strong imagination, That . . . in the night, imagining some fear, How easy is a Muslim supposed a terrorist! ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/5 "2016-06-30T19:05:58Z")
Actually the cauldron does not bubble at all. The cauldron is the pot. It is instead the liquid inside the pot that is doing the bubbling. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/6 "2016-06-30T19:28:58Z")
Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by the NFL playoffs. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/7 "2016-06-30T19:49:15Z")
O Romeo, Romeo, who names their kid Romeo? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/8 "2016-06-30T19:54:37Z")
Out, damn Spot, out! Stop peeing on the carpet! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/9 "2016-06-30T20:14:00Z")
The quality of mercy is about 8.5 out of 10. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2016, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/10 "2016-06-30T23:07:23Z")
Yond Kendall has a lean and hungry look. She barfs too much. Such girls are bulimic. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/11 "2016-07-01T04:44:38Z")
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? You are hot and sticky. You make me want a cold drink or two. You bring out the pesky flies. You are lazy. You make me feel like I ought to go outside and do some yardwork though I am looking for any excuse to put that off. You breed storminess. Indeed you seem to be getting thundery right now. On second thought, thee are nothing like a summer’s day. Please don’t get mad. I am sorry. … Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/12 "2016-07-01T05:12:50Z")
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Nah. Cowards die many times before their death, but their life insurance premiums are much cheaper. Arise fair sun and strike the envious moon, like thou art Ike and the moon is Tina and she wilt not get herself upon the stage. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/13 "2016-07-01T13:04:56Z")
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some go viral on YouTube. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/14 "2016-07-01T13:17:42Z")
I am in blood stepp’d so far that, should I wade no more, my suede loafers are still totally fucking ruined. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/15 "2016-07-01T13:57:07Z")
Lord, what tools these morals be. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/16 "2016-07-01T16:23:12Z")
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, and then maybe for a little while on Wednesday, but Tuesday and Thursday are totally out for me. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/17 "2016-07-01T17:57:20Z")
_And gentlemen in England now abed Shall be eating a Full English Breakfast. And hold their manhoods…_ “Hold their manhoods”? - Ooh, Matron… ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/18 "2016-07-01T18:00:52Z")
And gentlemen in England now abed shall roll right back to sleep and think to themselves “what crashing bore going on again about that” when any speaks that fought here on Crispin’s day. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/19 "2016-07-01T18:10:43Z")
Out out damn Spot… three years old and he’s still pissing on the tapestries! We have heard the chimes at midnight, and we have lodged a complaint with the city. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2016, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799/20 "2016-07-01T18:14:00Z")
- Is this a dagger which I see before me, Why is it always left to me to carve the roast?\* [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ruin-shakespeare/758799.md?page=2)