# Rule 34: Cows **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 24, 2014, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169 "2014-02-24T23:38:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/1 "2014-02-24T23:38:49Z")
[Suspicious Farmer Busts Alleged Cow Porn Ring](http://news.kron4.com/news/suspicious-farmer-busts-alleged-cow-porn-ring/) > [@](#): > > Authorities say the cameras showed two men breaking into the barn in the middle of the night with a video camera. 35-year old Michael Jones is accused of running the camera while 31-year old Reid Fontaine performed sex acts with the cows. So… They were making moovies? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mr.Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Me)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/2 "2014-02-24T23:43:10Z")
Porned beef. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/3 "2014-02-24T23:49:22Z")
I am _so_ stealing that! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/4 "2014-02-24T23:55:49Z")
udderly revolting ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/5 "2014-02-24T23:58:49Z")
It’s a bunch of bull. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/6 "2014-02-25T00:06:04Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > It’s a bunch of bull. Don’t try to cow us into complacency! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/7 "2014-02-25T00:09:11Z")
‘Noooo! But you boff just _one_ cow…’ ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/8 "2014-02-25T00:13:09Z")
Great. Now when ranchers instruct their hands to spit-roast a cow they’ll be met with suppressed laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/9 "2014-02-25T00:13:49Z")
But you want the milk… it’s from VERY contented cows. Mostly. ETA: I’ll bet at least one of them looks just like Tig Trager… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/10 "2014-02-25T00:18:29Z")
Oh great, up until now, rural NYS was the Washington Generals of the redneck reputation wars, always in distant last amongst those who even showed up to the race. These two guys just realized they had some catching up to do. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/11 "2014-02-25T01:17:03Z")
This is a topic that can be milked for puns for days. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/12 "2014-02-25T01:24:39Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Oh great, up until now, rural NYS was the Washington Generals of the redneck reputation wars, always in distant last amongst those who even showed up to the race. These two guys just realized they had some catching up to do. They refuse to cowtow to authority. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/13 "2014-02-25T02:18:47Z")
Gonna steer clear of this one. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/14 "2014-02-25T02:24:54Z")
I herd it through the bovine. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/15 "2014-02-25T03:40:54Z")
Calf Out Loud. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/16 "2014-02-25T04:22:42Z")
I herd it was a cow orgy. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/17 "2014-02-25T04:24:00Z")
Oh, c’mon, those cows were _really_ horny. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/18 "2014-02-25T04:40:33Z")
The video has a soundtrack. It’s mooed music. ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/19 "2014-02-25T06:18:13Z")
In the jail house did they think “there’s got to be better ways to get aurochs off?” ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/20 "2014-02-25T06:40:33Z")
Kine of. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169.md?page=2)