# Rule 34: Cows **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 24, 2014, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169 "2014-02-24T23:38:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/101 "2014-03-06T15:55:07Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Yogurt to be kidding me. What, are you too high-cultured to believe that? ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/102 "2014-03-06T17:25:56Z")
How to attract cultured cows. > **[Moo-d Music: Do Cows Really Prefer Slow Jams?](https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/03/06/285314648/secret-life-of-cows-part-deux-milking-mood-music)** > > Some farmers have long sworn by mellow tunes to boost Bessie's milk production. The science is hardly conclusive. But a study hints at what might top the barnyard playlist. (Psst: They liked R.E.M.) ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/103 "2014-03-07T00:23:22Z")
This thread is out to pasture. It has lost its poop. And I have killed another thread! ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/104 "2014-03-07T01:13:24Z")
A pretty Vealainous thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/105 "2014-03-07T01:25:10Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > A pretty Vealainous thing to do. Are you a cow poker? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/106 "2014-03-07T19:39:14Z")
Cud you guys just stop it? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/107 "2014-03-07T19:41:19Z")
If the cows objected and the pornsters were injured, would paramedics wheel them out on a guernsey? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/108 "2014-03-07T19:46:55Z")
I’ve herd enough now. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/109 "2014-03-07T20:11:31Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I’ve herd enough now. I wouldn’t Holstein my breath about this ending. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/110 "2014-03-07T20:13:11Z")
It’s like I’m just spinning my veals. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/111 "2014-03-07T20:22:07Z")
The real question, was there foreplay, or did he just slap on some Kow-Y jelly and go at it? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/112 "2014-03-07T20:25:21Z")
At any rate, it was a low-steaks gambit. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/113 "2014-03-07T21:05:08Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > At any rate, it was a low-steaks gambit. Come on, I’m only ribeye ing you. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/114 "2014-03-07T21:09:44Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > Come on, I’m only ribeye ing you. I thought it was more of a rump roast myself. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/115 "2014-03-07T21:24:00Z")
I wonder if one of the porn vids was called _Strip Steak_. Or maybe _Luscious Loin_. _T-Boned_? _Hey, Look While I Boff This Cow_? . ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/116 "2014-03-07T22:10:22Z")
There was furplay. I herd the cow gave feliteio before penetration. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Goob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Mr.Goob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Goob)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/117 "2014-03-07T23:18:37Z")
Just when I think this is gone it gets ground round back to the top of the page. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/118 "2014-03-07T23:31:42Z")
> [@Mr.Goob](#): > > Just when I think this is gone it gets ground round back to the top of the page. It herds so good. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/119 "2014-03-07T23:45:09Z")
And we ain’t dung yet. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/120 "2014-03-08T01:41:28Z")
Some people, like Michael & Reid, like movies, while others prefer [live audiences](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/fla-man-arrested-sex-pit-bull-yard-report-article-1.1712069). On the plus side, it’s good to know that Marty Feldman was an eye organ donor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169.md?page=7)