# Rule 34: Cows **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 24, 2014, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169 "2014-02-24T23:38:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/141 "2014-03-13T01:48:42Z")
[quote=“Major\_Matt\_Mason, post:140, topic:682169”] How about a steer bum? 😃 /QUOTE] I have a fever! And the only prescription is more cow butt! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/142 "2014-03-13T02:25:04Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > It’s turned into a stampede. It’s the Running of the Bull! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2014, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/143 "2014-03-13T16:38:29Z")
I guess they were taking it on the hoof. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/144 "2014-03-18T18:08:00Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Has anything like this happened before? Could be a case of deja moo. I think it has, around [1981](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083131/?ref_=nv_sr_1): > [@John Winger](#): > > Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow? I want to party with you, cowboy! ---
**Author:** ![SageGrouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@SageGrouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SageGrouse)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/145 "2014-03-21T13:47:30Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Who’d have thought that moomoos could be that sexy? > > So how did they catch the guy? Did they just go up to him and say “hey, were Hereford the cow porn?” > > What kind of dialogue is there? “Hey baby, wanna Holstein my Wangus?” “Want a ride on my Red Poll?” “Ooh, girl, you got booty in Abondance!” > > Yes, I did have to google for a couple of those cattle breeds but all the other obvious puns have been milked dry. Ayrshire you got them all? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/146 "2014-03-21T15:31:05Z")
> [@SageGrouse](#): > > Ayrshire you got them all? I veal sure he has. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/147 "2014-03-21T17:21:56Z")
Apparently this thread will keep going until the cows cum home… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/148 "2014-03-21T17:32:38Z")
After that one, I just want to hide. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/149 "2014-03-21T19:06:19Z")
He’s just Ribbing you. Just because you have a beef with him is no reason to get jerky. ---
**Author:** ![SmokeTwibz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SmokeTwibz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmokeTwibz)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/150 "2014-03-21T19:17:19Z")
This incident is a result of some beef that they had with their neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![SmokeTwibz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SmokeTwibz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmokeTwibz)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/151 "2014-03-21T19:18:35Z")
How dairy treat one of his cows this way! There is a lot at steak here, not just the ongoing beef with the neighbors. The veal shall be lifted on these two gentlemen. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/152 "2014-03-21T19:26:44Z")
> [@harmonicamoon](#): > > This thread is out to pasture. It has lost its poop. > > And I have killed another thread! That was posted over two weeks ago. OTUH\*, you didn’t kill the thread. This topic needs a [stunbolt](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captive_bolt_pistol) to the forehead. - “On the udder hand.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/153 "2014-03-21T21:07:07Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > That was posted over two weeks ago. OTUH\*, you didn’t kill the thread. > > This topic needs a [stunbolt](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captive_bolt_pistol) to the forehead. > > - “On the udder hand.” Hay, I’m not the one talking about cows getting nailed… ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/154 "2014-03-21T21:42:40Z")
Imagine…if the heifers are lactating, gives a bonus to the furplay. Warm milk! No, we ain’t milked this thread, yet. And that ain’t no bull! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/155 "2014-03-22T02:42:34Z")
> [@SmokeTwibz](#): > > This incident is a result of some beef that they had with their neighbors. They should just sit down together and chew the fat awhile. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/156 "2014-03-22T02:56:53Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > They should just sit down together and chew the fat awhile. Do they have to cuddle first? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2014, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/157 "2014-03-22T04:06:38Z")
> [@jasg](#): > > Do they have to cuddle first? I feel certain they could curdle up and find some whey. ---
**Author:** ![Burns65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@Burns65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burns65)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/158 "2014-03-25T00:33:51Z")
just think what the other inmates were saying after those guys said what they were in for. I can see people walking to the other side of the cell quietly. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/159 "2014-03-25T00:39:44Z")
> [@Burns65](#): > > just think what the other inmates were saying after those guys said what they were in for. I can see people walking to the other side of the cell quietly. “I’d make you my bitch, but I ain’t that horny.” ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169/160 "2014-03-25T19:23:36Z")
> [@si\_blakely](#): > > I bet the guy with the video camera used the pseudonym “Hugh Heifer” They were going to publish a cow porn magazine called “Rustler” in which to advertise their video cattleog. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rule-34-cows/682169.md?page=9)