# Rules: changing someone's name? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 11, 2015, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736 "2015-05-11T01:23:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/1 "2015-05-11T01:23:36Z")
Say a poster named Sardonyx Q. Peabody posts, and someone responds, “Well, ol’ Sardy is wrong in what he says.” Is there an actual rule covering this? (I don’t mind being called ol’ Trin, but it does come off better as a friendly diminutive than a hostile one.) ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/2 "2015-05-11T02:17:46Z")
I think this has been covered in the past. I guess common curtesy applies. If you shorten someone’s name in a friendly way most people would be fine with it, if you shorten someone’s name when you know they don’t like it then you are being a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/3 "2015-05-11T02:27:01Z")
It’s nothing I do much except in some jest (like in the MMP where nicknames are common) but even then I try to limit myself to something like **Trin** and leave out the descriptive. Don’t know of a rule but it just seems the polite way to do it. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/4 "2015-05-11T02:43:04Z")
If it is simply a shortening as a nickname, there is no problem. If it wanders into using the changed name as an insult, it will, outside the Pit, get Moderator attention. Referring to the (hypothetical) **headsup** as **heads** or **'sup** would probably be ignored. Referring to the (hypothetical) **headsup** as **headsuphisbutt** would tend to get a Warning. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/5 "2015-05-11T03:13:59Z")
Sounds good. It seems to fall into “common sense” grounds. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/6 "2015-05-11T03:33:57Z")
But what if someone’s chosen screen name can be shortened into an insulting word without modification? If someone chooses **Left Hand of Dorkness** as his moniker, and gets called just “Dorkness,” is that an insult? Or do we assume no one would choose that name if “Dorkness” offended him? ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/7 "2015-05-11T03:46:42Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > But what if someone’s chosen screen name can be shortened into an insulting word without modification? If someone chooses **Left Hand of Dorkness** as his moniker, and gets called just “Dorkness,” is that an insult? Or do we assume no one would choose that name if “Dorkness” offended him? I personally would not make such an assumption. In the past I’ve used an obvious nickname to refer to a poster. He asked me not to: I then realized that he was using something close to his real life name and that he didn’t like the contraction. I didn’t blame him. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/8 "2015-05-11T03:52:34Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > But what if someone’s chosen screen name can be shortened into an insulting word without modification? If someone chooses **Left Hand of Dorkness** as his moniker, and gets called just “Dorkness,” is that an insult? Or do we assume no one would choose that name if “Dorkness” offended him? As nearly always, context matters. In a friendly thread where there is some bantering going on, I would expect the Mods to evaluate the way the name was used. In a hostile thread, the example given would be presumed to be hostile and Modded accordingly. If one sees that a shortened name could be an insult, refraining from that shortening would be a wise action. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/9 "2015-05-11T11:44:36Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > But what if someone’s chosen screen name can be shortened into an insulting word without modification? If someone chooses **Left Hand of Dorkness** as his moniker, and gets called just “Dorkness,” is that an insult? Or do we assume no one would choose that name if “Dorkness” offended him? Read your Le Guin: For Cool is the Left Hand of Dorkness, and Dorky is the Right Hand of Cool. People have called me Dorkness before, and I don’t recall ever getting more than the teeniest bit irritated at them, counting it as a lame attempt at some passive aggressive “I’m not touching you” hostility, meriting pity more than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/10 "2015-05-11T14:53:04Z")
As a real example, we used to have a member who used the scientific name of a particular subspecies of newt as his screen name. A poster once called him “Newt-boy”, and got moderated for it. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/11 "2015-05-11T16:11:29Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > But what if someone’s chosen screen name can be shortened into an insulting word without modification? If someone chooses **Left Hand of Dorkness** as his moniker, and gets called just “Dorkness,” is that an insult? Or do we assume no one would choose that name if “Dorkness” offended him? In that case “really not all that bright” has got some complaining to do. I can’t tell you how many people have said “Boy, you really…” etc. If anything I have learned to never take a username that can easily be manipulated into an insult. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/12 "2015-05-11T17:31:30Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > If you shorten someone’s name in a friendly way most people would be fine with it, if you shorten someone’s name when you know they don’t like it then you are being a jerk. Yes, but fortunately, _your_ username is completely immune to such childish shenanigans. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/13 "2015-05-11T20:37:59Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Read your Le Guin: For Cool is the Left Hand of Dorkness, and Dorky is the Right Hand of Cool. > > People have called me Dorkness before, and I don’t recall ever getting more than the teeniest bit irritated at them, counting it as a lame attempt at some passive aggressive “I’m not touching you” hostility, meriting pity more than anything else. You know, this is the first time that I’ve actually read your name correctly. I’ve always read it as “Left Hand of DorkIness.” ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/14 "2015-05-11T22:52:49Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > But what if someone’s chosen screen name can be shortened into an insulting word without modification? If someone chooses **Left Hand of Dorkness** as his moniker, and gets called just “Dorkness,” is that an insult? Or do we assume no one would choose that name if “Dorkness” offended him? As I see it, if someone did that a couple times, and he said, “Well, okay, cute, but please don’t make a habit of it, okay?” and they went ahead and kept on doing it…that’d be reportable as an offense. It reminds me of sensitivity training in the workplace. You can’t always guess what will be offensive to some people, but there is a kind of “common sense” defense. If someone is wearing really pretty jewelry, and you say, “That’s really pretty,” and they get outraged… Well, they really don’t have a case, the first time. Complimenting someone on their accessories is “reasonable.” But once they’ve told you, “I prefer not to have my jewelry commented on,” then you pretty much can’t. It’s still a “reasonable” thing to do, but it’s not on, because you’ve been informed that it bothers them. > [@Anaamika](#): > > In that case “really not all that bright” has got some complaining to do. I can’t tell you how many people have said “Boy, you really…” etc. If anything I have learned to never take a username that can easily be manipulated into an insult. I always thought that his choice of a login name was…ah…strategically inelegant. On the other hand, he’s proven, by now, that it’s ironic and not literal, so anyone who uses it against him is only being silly. Still, if someone were to ask my advice, I would say, “Dumb as an Ox” or “Brain Dead and Proud Of It” or “Ignorance is Bliss” might not be the wisest choices for user names. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2015, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/15 "2015-05-11T23:41:52Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Yes, but fortunately, _your_ username is completely immune to such childish shenanigans. I _am_ partial to “ **Cock Ring** ” ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/16 "2015-05-12T03:13:35Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > As nearly always, context matters. In a friendly thread where there is some bantering going on, I would expect the Mods to evaluate the way the name was used. > In a hostile thread, the example given would be presumed to be hostile and Modded accordingly. If one sees that a shortened name could be an insult, refraining from that shortening would be a wise action. What about the “How were the pyramids constructed” thread in Great Debates? Not that I want to be mod noted, but I’ve called **cladking** (a True Believer who’s written 544 posts defending an implausible and pseudoscientific pet theory that the Ancient Egyptians used carbonated geysers and counterweights to build the Great Pyramids) “claddy”, and others have dubbed him “The King o’ Clad”. Not sure if it counts as a “hostile” thread, but he’s pretty much taking fire from every other poster - including **tomndebb** - in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/17 "2015-05-12T03:24:29Z")
Is **claddy** an explicit insult? Is **King o’ Clad** an insult? Granted, that poster is not getting a lot of respect from the rest of the TM, but no one has resorted to **kludgeking** or **cladinignorance**. Despite the frustration of the other posters, the level of personal hostility has remained low. If **cladking** expressed a desire that his name not be shortened or modified, that would change the situation. If a genuinely insulting name was thrown into the thread it would get Mod noted. So far, I don’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/18 "2015-05-12T03:46:46Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Is **claddy** an explicit insult? Is **King o’ Clad** an insult? > Granted, that poster is not getting a lot of respect from the rest of the TM, but no one has resorted to **kludgeking** or **cladinignorance**. > Despite the frustration of the other posters, the level of personal hostility has remained low. If **cladking** expressed a desire that his name not be shortened or modified, that would change the situation. If a genuinely insulting name was thrown into the thread it would get Mod noted. > So far, I don’t see it. And this is perfectly reasonable. Thanks for the clear guidelines! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/19 "2015-05-12T09:40:31Z")
I’m glad we’ve decided what to do when someone does something ostensibly innocent, but then deliberately persists after being told it is annoying. Regards, Ludovic ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-changing-someones-name/719736/20 "2015-05-12T16:13:34Z")
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