# Rules of Life (lighthearted) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 23, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517 "2007-11-23T17:19:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2007, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/21 "2007-11-25T14:04:01Z")
The Car/Checking Account rule: Anytime you are in danger of having enough money for the week, the car senses this and won’t move until repaired - for exactly $50 more than what you have in the bank. Since I’ve seen this one too many times to count I should make my car balance the check book… ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/22 "2007-11-25T14:44:21Z")
[QUOTE=phouka] 5. Procrastination Rule - the only way to get some hated chore finished is to have another, even more hated chore to avoid doing. Thus, the classroom is cleaned and organized before lesson plans are done, and lesson plans are always complete before grading is tackled. What rules have you encountered, discovered, or created? [/QUOTE] You totally got me! This week I had two sets of exams and 1 set of project outlines and 1 set of lab reports to grade. Naturally, I cleaned my office. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2007, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/23 "2007-11-25T22:52:04Z")
Law of Filling the Tank: The closer the needle is to “E”, the more inclement the weather is, and the more of a rush you happen to be in. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/24 "2007-11-25T23:42:25Z")
The Snoring Rule: Whoever snores the loudest falls asleep first. Although I don’t have little kids anymore, I’ve always remembered The Diaper/Baby Wipe Rule: The size of the poppy mess in the diaper will always be in direct inverse proportion to the number of baby wipes left in the box. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/25 "2007-11-26T01:04:42Z")
[QUOTE=BiblioCat] Although I don’t have little kids anymore, I’ve always remembered The Diaper/Baby Wipe Rule: The size of the poppy mess in the diaper will always be in direct inverse proportion to the number of baby wipes left in the box. [/QUOTE] Not a rule, but a piece of advice I remember from my early days as a parent. “The weight limit on the Diaper box indicates the weight of the baby, not the amount the diaper can hold.” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/26 "2007-11-26T01:36:50Z")
Try to make someone laugh once a day. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/27 "2007-11-26T02:27:06Z")
The same way that animals can smell fear, traffic can smell ‘hurry’, and computers can smell technology phobias. In all cases, the results are unpleasant. I looked all through the house for a copy of the book I had promised to lend a friend. Couldn’t find it, so reluctantly bought another copy. Sure enough, a replacement whatever somehow attracts the original of the lost item it’s intended to replace, and causes the original to surface. Murphy was an optimist. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/28 "2007-11-26T07:09:27Z")
Law of Attraction: The more into somebody you are, the less likely you’ll have a chance. Law of Silence: Never say something to somebody about somebody else that you wouldn’t say to that somebody else’s face. Oooooh man did I learn this. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/29 "2007-11-26T09:55:12Z")
Maggie’s First Rule of Love: Never believe a man who tells you he loves you before you’ve slept with him. He’s either lying to you or to himself. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/30 "2007-11-26T10:50:05Z")
[QUOTE=Swampwolf] The longer you have to wait for a bus, the more likely it is that three will come along at once. [/QUOTE] This is actually quite logical. If something holds up the 9:05 bus, it means more people will be waiting when it arrives at the next stop, taking more time to get everyone on and putting the bus even further behind schedule. The 9:10 bus, not having encountered any delays, finds fewer people waiting at the stops and so winds up making better time than usual. This continues until the 9:10 bus (and possibly the 9:15 as well) catches up to the 9:05 which is wheezing along packed to the gills. Every time you really get into an intense exercise routine and are doing a great job sticking with it, a massive head cold will knock you on your ass for two weeks and undo all your progress. ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/31 "2007-11-26T11:17:23Z")
heh funny I was going to point that out about the bus thing as well. > [@Autolycus](#): > > Law of Attraction: The more into somebody you are, the less likely you’ll have a chance. As a corollary, the more attracted you are to somebody, the more likely you are to inexplicably act like a total idiot and ruin it, even if doing so requires to you to totally reverse your normal personality. (Or maybe this is just me, but I’ve seen other people do it to) ---
**Author:** ![JustThinkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@JustThinkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustThinkin)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/32 "2007-11-26T13:19:05Z")
The best way to avoid bad weather while on vacation is to pack a bunch of gear and clothing, preparing for the worst. Said gear and clothing will proceed to be a PITA for the duration of the vacation and never be used. Plan for great weather at your own peril. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/33 "2007-11-26T16:23:51Z")
The cat clothing law: when wearing dark clothing the white cat will be instantly attracted to you; when wearing light clothing the black cat will be instantly attracted to you. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/34 "2007-11-26T16:27:05Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] This is actually quite logical. If something holds up the 9:05 bus, it means more people will be waiting when it arrives at the next stop, taking more time to get everyone on and putting the bus even further behind schedule. The 9:10 bus, not having encountered any delays, finds fewer people waiting at the stops and so winds up making better time than usual. This continues until the 9:10 bus (and possibly the 9:15 as well) catches up to the 9:05 which is wheezing along packed to the gills. [/QUOTE] Ah. I see that you’ve ridden the Prince Edward bus. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/35 "2007-11-26T16:33:36Z")
In order to get money, a job, or love, you must first prove that you don’t need it. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/36 "2007-11-26T16:46:59Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] In order to get money, a job, or love, you must first prove that you don’t need it. [/QUOTE] Or you don’t care very if you get it or not. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/37 "2007-11-26T16:53:41Z")
[QUOTE=Oni no Maggie] Never believe a man who tells you he loves you before you’ve slept with him. He’s either lying to you or to himself. [/QUOTE] I was lying to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Ronald\_C.Semone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cc9497/32.png) [@Ronald\_C.Semone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ronald_C.Semone)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/38 "2007-11-26T17:15:14Z")
1. Law of Getting to Meetings on Time - it doesn’t matter how early you leave in the morning, you’ll never get to that 8:30 a.m. meeting on time unless you leave the night before. It’s just the way it is. [/QUOTE] Nonsense. I don’t think I’ve ever been late to a meeting in my life and I have no sympathy for people who are and use this supposed “law” as their excuse. A better law would be “At a series of meetings, the same people will always be late.” ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/39 "2007-11-26T17:56:22Z")
Wait 5 minutes before opening the Dr Pepper you got out of the drink machine. ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517/40 "2007-11-26T18:30:36Z")
Hair dye law–just when you find the shade of whatever color dye you use on your hair that is “YOU” it will be discontinued or only available on Ebay for a horrible price. Same goes for any hair product. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules-of-life-lighthearted/427517.md?page=3)