# rules **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491 "2001-03-11T01:08:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/21 "2001-03-11T02:44:17Z")
1. Listen to your wiser female side- do not, after a few attempts to light the gas barbeque have failed, poke your head over it while clicking the ignitor, peering into the depths of the grill, and saying 'what the hell is goi ’ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/22 "2001-03-11T02:48:38Z")
1. Don’t take that bet when your friend asks you to prove you can _really_ drive that slalom track faster backwards than he can forwards. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/23 "2001-03-11T03:03:54Z")
1. After a night of drinking, ask yourself how badly do you _really_ need that ukelele before liberating it from its display case. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/24 "2001-03-11T03:03:57Z")
When at a bar and faced with either a possible fight or an attractive woman, do not attempt to buy time by appearing to be cool by taking a drink of your beer without looking at it. Always check to make sure the drinking aperture is _toward_ you. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/25 "2001-03-11T03:06:32Z")
When you see your thee year old heading towards the stereo with one of your screwdrivers, do not smile and say to yourself, ‘Oh, isn’t that just the cutest thing!’, turn away, and continue doing the dishes. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/26 "2001-03-11T03:09:17Z")
Do not assume same three year old knows that finger paints are for finger painting, while Hersheys chocolate syrup is not. Especially if there is carpet anywhere in the house. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/27 "2001-03-11T03:10:56Z")
1. Do not, while barefoot, attempt to light a rocket indoors, especially when you’re using the carpet as the launchpad and there is nowhere for it to go but the ceiling or the dry pile of clothes beside you. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/28 "2001-03-11T03:16:13Z")
29- Until you know your new puppy’s disposition, likes and dislikes, if you have long hair, do not fall asleep on the floor. Corrolary: Do not fall asleep naked if, anywhere in the house, is a cat young enough to still be in the ‘playful’ stage. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/29 "2001-03-11T03:17:35Z")
1. Unless you are a professional stuntman, do not set any part of yourself on fire even if you think you’ve taken the proper safety precautions. 2. Do not swing from a tree with a chainsaw in your hands without ensuring you are properly harnessed to the tree. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/30 "2001-03-11T03:24:35Z")
1. If you have had sufficient drink that you have significantly degraded your physical coordination, it is _not_ the ‘coolest idea I’ve had in a long time’ to moon a passing dop. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/31 "2001-03-11T03:26:15Z")
cop ---
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/32 "2001-03-11T03:30:53Z")
1. Always set down a soldering iron _before_ you shake hands with someone. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/33 "2001-03-11T03:31:14Z")
1. Never look straight up at a bird. ---
**Author:** ![Silly\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Silly\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silly_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/34 "2001-03-11T03:39:46Z")
Thirty-something: Never have liquids in your mouth while reading anything **inor** has posted. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/35 "2001-03-11T03:48:27Z")
Silly Rabbit ---
**Author:** ![Silly\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Silly\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silly_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/36 "2001-03-11T03:52:39Z")
NEVER eat mexican food on Karate night… ---
**Author:** ![Grok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Grok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grok)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/37 "2001-03-11T04:00:47Z")
When having sex with a girl, verify that your parents _really_ aren’t home. (This was nearly ten years ago, and it STILL isn’t funny…) ---
**Author:** ![trose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f9ae1b/32.png) [@trose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trose)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/38 "2001-03-11T04:13:06Z")
> [@](#): > > _from iampunha_ > 28. Do not, while barefoot, attempt to light a rocket indoors, especially when you’re using the carpet as the launchpad and there is nowhere for it to go but the ceiling or the dry pile of clothes beside you. So it’s OK with boots on? How 'bout Tevas? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/39 "2001-03-11T04:17:15Z")
When you follow links on the SDMB that take you to weird websites, always take a moment to close down those windows before you get up from the computer… ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491/40 "2001-03-11T04:25:32Z")
It isn’t a good idea to spit bees at people through a soda straw. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rules/57491.md?page=3)